169 Playground, A Bit of Sunshine, Guiltyreasons, Star Trek XI

[guiltyreasons.livejournal.com]

Title: A Bit of Sunshine 2
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Prompt: 169 Playground
Warnings: slash, sex, mention of abuse
Rating: NC-17
Summary:Leonard McCoy is unhappily married - he stayed with his wife for the sake of his daughter. He's mostly miserable, but stuck. There is just one bright spot to his day - taking lunch in the park near his hospital and watching "Jim." -- prompt from the new Star Trek Kink Meme here and the first part is here

And a minor mention that the prompt number is slightly, almost ironic.


“Just you know, thanks is enough,” McCoy said shrugging.

“Could I ask you something?” Kirk asked his eyes burning onto McCoy’s own.

“Anything,” McCoy whispered having had a forbidden fantasy or two that started like this.

“Can I draw you?”

Fantasy broken and McCoy groaned.

“Didn’t you already?” he asked motioning to the one behind him.

“I want a close up,” Jim said bringing out a canvas and already setting it down.

“I don’t know,” McCoy complained, “I’m not much of a subject.”

“I think you are,” Jim told him and motioned to his bed, “Sit.”

“Fine, fine,” McCoy said and sat down, “But I don’t know any poses.”

“That’s perfect. Just…be,” Jim said explaining nothing so McCoy scouted back on so his was against the wall and crossed his arms. He felt grumpy. Most likely because a big part of him had wanted this to be sexual. He’d never thought he’d be able to walk into Jim’s house and not make a move or get hit on himself. Instead he was having a portrait done like any other person of the street.

It did come with one fringe benefit. He could watch Kirk work. He’d never gotten a chance to really look at him this close. He’d never imagined Kirk was actually as handsome as he seemed. Jesus, he could model with that damn face. McCoy had been dumb to think that that young man would be looking back at him in that way. Jim it seemed even worked out. His arms were big and powerful and could easily pin him…

“Could I do a nude of you?” Jim asked making McCoy jump out of his skin. He chocked on his own spit as he tried to understand. He coughed and sputtered but oddly that just gave him a moment think.

“What  in the world?” McCoy demanded his eyes wide.

“Well, I figured with that look in your eyes it’s the only way it’d make sense,” Jim  said raising his face from the drawing and his own eyes reflected back something McCoy hadn’t seen in years. Desire aimed at him and solely him.

“Jim,” McCoy said his voice full of longing that shouldn’t be there.

Jim got up from his seat, slowly making his way over. He crawled onto the bed and right over McCoy. A man had never been this close to his person space before, but McCoy didn’t mind as Jim cupped his cheek. His head naturally tilted and he gave into those full lips. It’d been ages since he’d had a zealous make out session and none of them could compare to this. Jim was drinking  him in, demanding more from him, not letting him sit it out.

Jim’s hand started running over his back and awakening his skin again. He whimpered into the heated kiss at every touch. Jim felt natural against him, like it was something he’d been missing out on.

He had to break the kiss though. He couldn’t keep going on like this.

“I’m married,” McCoy said softly.

“To a woman you hate. If you loved her you won’t look so miserable all the time.”

“Okay you got me. But I love my daughter and I don’t want to be a weekend dad,” McCoy explained.

“Then don’t be. Prove your wife is unfit.”

“I work a lot. It’ll look bad.”

“No, it’ll look like dedication. I see she’s done her job of making sure you’re scared to death to leave her,” Jim said running a hand through McCoy’s hair, “But I think you should. I think it’d be the best thing for both of you.”

“What do you know?” McCoy demanded tired of getting advice from a guy barely old enough to have facial hair, “I could be your father.”

“Did you sleep with my mother? Thought not. You’re older, so what? I don’t care,” Kirk asked with a coy grin. He ran his hand down McCoy's chest making the other man moan softly.

They shouldn't be doing this. Nothing good could come of it. He had a wife at home, a wife he hated yes, but one that could take away his daughter. There would be no reason to wake up if his little girl wasn't there. Kirk couldn't fill that place, but god he felt good pressed firmly against him.

What if it was all a ploy? His wife had been trying to think of a way to get out of the marriage without loosing the money. What if Jim was a decoy? Then again how long had this decoy been employed? He'd been watching Jim now for almost a year after all.

Kirk's lips slid down to his neck and started kissing his collar bone. McCoy’s head went back and his body arched.

He never imagined Jim would be interested. Or anyone for that matter. He'd been lonely for such a long time. He'd always thought he'd done something in a past life to deserve it. Nothing ever went right for him and he'd always assumed he'd end up alone. He'd even imagined his daughter, and maybe a grandkid holding his hand, as he died. He didn’t need anything more, at least he thought that before Jim started touching him. Jim had thrown a wrench into that plan by feeling the same way back to him.

He shouldn't have come here. Nothing good could come out of this.

"Would you stop it?" Jim demanded and McCoy's eye brows shot up.

"What?" he growled more angry then he should have been. After all Kirk had been making him feel rather good, even if it was all very bad.

"Stop thinking so damn much. I mean I can practically hear you," Jim complained, "I'm not planted here by your wife. I'm not trying to make you lose your daughter. I'm trying to get you to loosen up and have a good time. You deserve it.”

"So it's a pity fuck?" McCoy demanded and started sitting up.

"No, no," Jim said pushing McCoy right down, "Believe me this is as much for you as it is for me. I've been drawing you, Bones.  Not only because your body is intensely expressive, but you make me hot. I mean, you're a good looking guy after all."

"Oh," McCoy said blushing and so badly embarrassed that he didn't realize Kirk was starting to pull up his shirt until the other man was latched onto his nipple.

McCoy cried out and stared down at the other man as he tongued the small nub of nerves. McCoy's cock stirred to life and Kirk's hand touched it. Just a simple touch at first, but then got firmer. McCoy whimpered and he arched his back slightly.

"Jim, we shouldn't," McCoy tried again, but his heart simply wasn't into it. Jim must have realized because he was smiling up at him from his chest.

"Liar," he said confidently and McCoy knew he was right. He wanted this, so much it hurt.

"I've never been with a guy," McCoy told him.

"Liar," Jim said quickly and McCoy felt his blush spread up into his ears, "Really? Wow, well it's not much different. I'm not going to ass rape you. In fact, I prefer oral and lots of it. You ever sixty-nine?" Jim wagged his eyebrows suggestively and McCoy's stomach turned in joy.

"Never with a guy."

"Obviously," Jim said with a smirk as his hand started pulling down the zipper on McCoy's pants.

"Jim," McCoy said running his hand through the beautiful man's hair and staring into those ice blue eyes, "I-"

Shh," Jim said putting his finger on McCoy's mouth and he was silently, "You've sacrificed everything for your little girl. Let me do this something for you and hey you can do something back for me too okay?"

Jim's hand went inside of his pants and gently pulled him out. McCoy glanced down at the same time Jim did feeling that jump of worry he did every time someone saw him naked for the first time. Jim didn't say anything or compliment him like most girls did. Instead he dived down and took his cock into his mouth like he was starving for it. Best compliment one could ever get.

McCoy had had his share of blowjobs. His wife had given them to him out of pity for the first two or three years of the marriage. Those had dried up once they realized just how much they couldn't stand each other. He'd also gotten a few from girlfriends and just friends alike. Not as many as a guy that looked like Jim might, but enough to know none of them compared to Jim's talented mouth. His tongue was everywhere and where his tongue wasn't his hands were. He took him in deep too. He'd never known a human could so easily take something that big.

He wondered how many guys Jim had been with before then pushed the thought away. Better not start feeling like shit right now. He wanted to feel good. So good because Jim was rolling his tongue over his balls in turn.

Jim glanced up at him and smirked. The bastard knew he was doing a good job too which made McCoy's toes tingle. He was trying, he was actually doing his best to make sure McCoy was having fun. It'd been so long since someone had done something for McCoy that his heart started racing even faster. Did Jim really care? Or was this just because McCoy could look so pathetic sometimes.

 "I can hear it again and it gets in the way of me sucking harder," Jim teased before taking all of McCoy, right down to the base into his mouth and part of his throat, he then pulled out quickly before starting a up and down motion that was fast and hot.

McCoy grabbed the sheets and gave a short cry. He wasn't thinking about anything anymore and that felt good. It felt good to completely give in and so he did. He gave in to the friction, the pleasure, to the perfectly placed tongue strokes. He felt his stomach coiling and his cock burning red hot.

"Jim, I'm going to...I can't not," McCoy said knowing there was no medical reason not to swallow semen, but it did taste bad in his opinion. What, he'd tasted his once or twice. If a guy said they didn't they were lying anyways.

Jim mumbled something that sounded like 'I know' and it was possible the sexiest thing McCoy had ever heard. He arched forward and let an orgasm take him that made everything tingle so perfectly. He gave whimpered and grunts which were almost embarrassing, but he was barely hearing them himself.

McCoy came back to himself when he felt Jim's mouth removing itself. He stared down at the other man and realized he was panting and sweaty. He did his best not to imagine how incredible unattractive that must be. Jim looked amazing himself, lips puffy from the work out and his eyes shining with desire.

"Like that?" Jim asked and ran his hand through McCoy's hair. He started to come in for a kiss then stopped. McCoy figured out why and grabbed the back of his head. He pulled him down and gave him a harsh, passionate kiss. He could taste himself, and it did taste horrible, but he ignored it because it was coming from Jim.

"No, hated it completely. I only jizz when I hate things," McCoy teased and flicked the other on the forehead making him jump back and grab his head.

"Hey, don't be such a meany Bones," Jim said pushing him away playfully and then pining him down again,

"Up for more?" "

What?" McCoy asked surprised.

"Up for more?" Jim asked toying with his own belt then shrugging, "But you don't have too."

"You knew I won't say no," Bone told him and rolled his eyes, "I'm far too nice."

"Of course you are," Jim said flipping over and onto the bed and McCoy got off. He stood in front of Jim as he stripped off his shirt then his pants. He stared in awe as the other's cock already standing erect and fully aroused.

"You got off on that?"

"Obviously," Jim said with a grin, "Those noises you made got me going so bad."

"I can see that," Bones said getting down on his knees and bowing before the other's manhood. He ran his hand over it and jumped when Jim moaned for him. He blushed deeply and stroked it again, this time taking the whole shaft in his hand. Jim's head fell backwards and his mouth opened in pleasurable sighs.

"Oh, Bones," Jim said running his hands over his own chest.

"Yeah?" McCoy said his mouth getting closer, but he paused, still a little unsure.

"Please," Jim begged his hips arching up off the bed.

"Okay," McCoy said, but it wasn't okay. It wasn't all that bad, but it wasn't all that good either. He might suck at this, he didn't know.

He'd never done it for a guy before. He put his mouth down on Jim's cock and paused. It felt big in his mouth and weird. He ran his tongue over it and Jim gasped out at the pressure. That encouraged McCoy to push a little harder, to slide his tongue through the other's slit and then around the base of the head. Jim shivered with pleasure and moaned loader. McCoy had been near silent, but Jim was definitely a moaner. McCoy liked that. He stroked his hand up and down the shaft as the other man wiggled under his grasp. He let his tongue wag side to side going faster and faster.

"Bones, don't, don't," Jim begged, but fuck it. McCoy pushed more, using both hands to stroke him while still sucking what he could get into his mouth off.

Jim groaned one last, long time and came inside of his mouth.  It was a rush of fluid in his mouth and he immediately pulled away. He spit out what little he'd gotten into his mouth and tired to ignore that which had fallen onto his chest. He wiped at it with the sheets, keeping one hand going on the other man's shaft. Jim didn't seem to have noticed any of this.

McCoy laid down beside him and stared at Jim who was still breathing hard, hand over his head. He was so damn handsome and likable. He was everything McCoy had hoped Jim would be all those lonely days on the park bench watching him. He could barely believe he was actually here, actually doing this. Would he wake up soon.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked running his hand over McCoy's bicep.

"Nothing," McCoy told him with a smile, "What would be wrong?"

"Well, you look like someone ate your puppy instead of your dong, so you tell me," Jim said sitting up beside him.

"Hey, no fair. Just because you can read me doesn't mean you should."

"Stop evading."

"I'm not-"

"Stop."

"Fine. I just wish today didn't have to end. I want to just keep, being with you. I liked this, but god it's so dumb. I've got my reasons and you've shown no sign of wanting anything more then a fling."

"Listen," Jim said and McCoy immediately turned to met his eyes, "I don't invite guys in here often. I'm more of a ladies man, but from the moment I saw you I've wanted to do this. I've wanted to make you smile. I'm not really into this for a fling, but if that's what you want it to be so bit it."

"That's all it can be."

"Why?"

"My wife."

"You don't love her."

"But my little girl."

Jim sighed, sounding defeated. "I know. She's means everything to you and I won't want to break you guys up. I mean the fact you're so devoted to her is definitely a turn on. So what, I wait until she's eighteen. She's what..."

"Seven."

"Seven!" Jim exclaimed then groaned putting his hand over his face, "Can't we just, do what we want. I mean how bad could it be."

"You've got it bad huh?" McCoy said reaching out and touching the other's hand, pulling into away and into his own. He had thought it was all one sided. He thought he was the only one getting hurt. McCoy had been wrong and he hated that. Jim was getting hurt too and it broke his heart double. He kissed the other man on the cheek and started to get up.

"I should go," McCoy told him softly.

"I know. I don't want you too."

"I know," McCoy said straightening up his clothing and putting everything back into place.

He didn't look back as he excited the small room. He didn't steal another glance at the painting. He left quickly because reality had kicked in and she was a horrible mistress. He walked back to the hospital, back to his car. He got inside of it and drove home, in no hurry to see it.

Once he got there, he pulled into the garage and saw that his wife's car was still here. He groaned before heading inside. The sound of running feet greeted him.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Joanna cried running up to him and hugging him. He took his blond angel into his arms and held her tightly, swinging her around three times. He set her down carefully and stroked her hair.

"Hey, Joey, what going on?" he asked playfully.

"Today at school we had a real star fleet officer come in! He was so cool! His name was Pike and he's really high up there. He controls like everything! He was nice though and gave us little toy ships and stuff. Then he had to go because the galaxy needs saving like ALL the time!" Joanna explained happily before jumping up and down with excitement, "Can I saw you the new toy?"

"Sure," he said giving her a happy smile, "Why don't you go get it?"

"Okay!" she said than ran down the hall and passed her mother.

"Slow down," she snapped and the child slowed downright away. Joennyln sauntered out of the back room in a tight fitting dress, push up draw, high heels and pair of nylons. Hair appointment his ass, she was going out on a date and not even trying to hide it.

"You know, you shouldn't call her Joey. She's a little girl not a boy. She might get confused."

"I've always called her Joey and if she ends up needing a therapist later I'll be paying for it not you so what's it matter?" McCoy said back crossing his arms and staring his wife down. She looked outstanding with her blond hair down up, her make up fixed up and her eyes so deadly. He felt like the fish who had swam out of the school to met up with the shark and gotten eaten for his trouble.

"Fine, if you wanna fuck her up then so be it," Jocelyn said tossing her hair behind her shoulder.

He was thinking of a witty retort when Joanna came in with a toy Enterprise in her hands.

“All the kids got one and he signed his name right here,” Joanna said pointing at the very professional looking scribble, “And I asked if girls could be in Star Fleet and he said yup, and I said I wanted to join and he said I could if I worked really, really hard."

"And you will right?" he asked.

"Yeah! Can I?"

"Of course sweetie," he said kissing her cheek then glancing up at his wife, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Yeah," she said confidently, "And try not to brain wash our daughter without too much self empowerment talk before I get home."

McCoy rolled his eyes then picked up Joanna. He started walking towards the family room as his wife was leaving behind him. He was going to play a game with Joanna and forget all about the other J names in his life.



It was a Tuesday and Joanna should really be in school. He'd pretended to take her this morning, but he'd let her skip. They were going to go to a certain park and met a guy who mattered a great deal to him. Even if he couldn't introduce them that way he wanted Jim to see, to understand what McCoy had to lose.

"So, he's going to paint my picture like I'm a celebrity?" Joanna asked still intensely impressed by the idea.

"Oh yeah, see he's right there," McCoy said pointing over at Jim who was painting facing towards them.

"Wow he's handsome. I bet mom would like him," she said with that childhood innocence that made McCoy just love her more. He squeezed her hand gently and nodded.

"I bet, but it's just us today so she won't know," McCoy said reminding her to keep her mouth shut for once. She likely won't, but it was worth it.

They walked towards him at what seemed like a snails pace and McCoy couldn't stop staring at the intense look on his face. He hoped the painting wasn't another of him because that might be awkward to explain to a seven year old.

"Jim," McCoy said as they came upon him and Jim glanced up his blue eyes wide with surprise.

"Hey," Jim said then glanced down at the blond girl holding onto his hand, "Hi. What's your name."

"Joanna, but you can call me Joey, my daddy does," she told him with a big smile, "What's your name?"

"James T Kirk, but you can call me Jim," he said offering his hand which she shook, letting go of her father's in the process, "Now, I don't say this all the time, but I've got to draw you. You're just so cute and nice. Do you think you could sit really still for about ten minute so I could get one started?"

"Of me? Really?" she asked eyes wide and she glanced up at her dad, "Cans I?"

"Of course," he said bending down and kissing her cheek, “Make sure to smile pretty.”

And she did. Sitting on the small stool he used for portraits. He stood behind Jim and rested his hand on the other man’s back  where Joanna couldn’t see. Jim glanced up at him and smiled, before starting his work, taking more care then McCoy had ever seen.

Not five minutes in and McCoy’s com went off. He growled then took out his communicator. He walked away to fight with the attending physician who kept saying how bad he’d fucked up. McCoy won’t have left, but when Chapel took the phone and told him the exact details  then he knew if he did go the patient would die, tonight.

“Can I leave her here for a moment? Might be, ten, fifteen, an hour, I don’t know. It’s bad and this guy needs me. Can I?”

“You know, you and your daughter sound alike when you say ‘can I?’ It’s cute. Go on. I can take care of her for a few. We were just starting to talk,” Jim said giving her a wink and she blushed.

“Okay, thanks,” McCoy said before running full force towards the hospital. Somebody was getting fired for ruining his day off.



It took half an hour to get the man stitched up and stable. How does a doctor not check a chart? How could they not find out all the allergies before they started working on a patient? That guy could have been find if the doctor had been paying attention.

He shook his head as he saw his daughter and Jim in the distance. She was sitting on his lap and painting. Any other guy had her on his lap and they’d be in trouble, but Jim he trusted oddly. He made his way over quickly hoping he didn’t smell like hospital and that he hadn’t missed any blood stains. He had two people in front of him who he wanted to impress.

“Hey sweetie,” McCoy said kissing her forehead.

“Hey Joey,” Jim said standing up and then setting her down, “You continue you working while I say a couple thing to your dad.”

“You guys going to fight?” she asked her face scrunched up with worry.

“No sweetheart, nothing like that.” he said gently poking her nose. She smiled then turned back the painting that didn’t look like anything, but was utterly perfect.

Jim took McCoy by the arm and lead him a few yard away. Jim stood across from him his face anxious and his arms crossed.

“We need to talk,” Jim told him.

“Listen, I think we talked about all this.”

“No this,” Jim said glancing back at Joanna.

“What?” McCoy asked suddenly panicked.

“She told me something…something huh..”

“Damnit Jim spit it out.”

“We were talking about how she got along with her mom and she seemed kind of nervous. So I asked her a few leading questions and….pretty much she told me her mother hits her sometimes.”

“What? Jocelyn won’t do that.”

“Have you given her a bath in a while?”

“She doesn’t smell.”

“No, I mean physically.”

“No, her mother hasn’t let me since she was three. Said if I did she’d tell everyone I was touching her…”

Jim took a sigh then nodded, “Makes sense. Because she said her mother only hits her on her inner thighs and on her chest and back. She showed me, the new on her back. It‘s pretty intense.”

A chill went over McCoy’s spine. It explained why Jocelyn had made Joanna stop wearing dresses. Because it was part of going up, what a crock. He should have seen it, but he didn’t want to believe it. McCoy wasn’t home all that often and it made sense damnit. And if that was happening who knew how badly Joanna had been mentally or physically scarred.

He glanced back at Joanna and did his best not to start crying.

“I’m not telling you this so you’ll leave her. I’m telling you this because that’s by far the best behaved and sweetest little girl I’ve met in a while. I’m no at all surprised she’s your daughter and that you’d give up anything to be with her. I’m sorry I made you ris-”

“Shh,” McCoy said putting his hand to the other’s face and shaking his head, “It’s not your fault at all. I’m glad we found this out now instead of later when it got worse.”

“Me too,” Jim said pulling away from the hand and smiling. “Now go get your girl and take her home.”



Two years later McCoy was sitting next to Jim on a park bench watching Joanna play with the other kids on the playground. McCoy had full custody and was filling out paperwork to make Jim an official adopted dad. McCoy’s hand was firmly wrapped around Jim’s as they talked about nothing and everything.

The divorce and criminal court had taken seven months and during that time they hadn’t seen each other at all. McCoy didn’t want to risk it and Jim understood. McCoy had gone to his studio a week after the trails and everything was settled. The first thing he had seen was his little girl’s portrait in the window and  he knew he’d marry that man one day.

They weren’t married yet, but Jim was living with them now, had been for three months. They waited to make sure it would all work out. Things were going great. Jim stayed home and drew so they could get rid of the nanny. McCoy didn’t like leaving Joanna with anyone, but Jim made him feel comfortable. He trusted Jim with everything in his life even if they didn’t always get along. He’d never felt more secure in a friendship let alone a relationship like this. 

And as they watched Joanna jumping from pad to pad on the teleported machine to get to different sections of the extremely large playground McCoy knew he’d made the right choose to take a risk.

“Hey McCoy,” Jim said leaning in and he knew he was in trouble because Jim had used his last name.

“Yeah?”

“I can hear those thoughts again and it’s making it hard to enjoy watching our daughter play,” Jim told him and McCoy couldn’t help but smile. Our daughter. Nothing else had sounded so right before.

(I villainized my version of Jocelyn here and I hope no one minds. Its a completely alternate so who knows. Other places she might be a sweetie.)