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tamingthemuseTitle: Leave it to the Botanists
Author: Sunnyd_lite
Fandom: SGA
Setting: Season 2
Rating:G
Word Count:960
Summary: Oh those wacky Ancient Artifacts
"You know what I'd really like?" Rodney asked while surveying the field of what looked like, if he was feeling poetic which he wasn't, amber waves of grain as they exited the Stargate.
"ZPM," grumbled Ronan as he took point at the end of the splash zone.
"I believe you mentioned something called Shreddies three times at this morning's breakfast," Teyla said as she moved to cover the right quadrant.
"Jeez McKay, they pulled an empty coffee mug out of your hands as we left. Don't tell me you need another fix so soon." Sheppard pushed up his sunglasses and hustled the scientist into the long grass.
Rodney gave a level 3 glare at all of them; something they didn't even bother to register. He'd never been a part of a group long enough for them to become inured to his lower level glares. He looked down at what he refused to call a tricorder for any interesting signals. "Just once it would be nice to find a place with Astroturf for easy walking. And, unfortunately we will be walking." His arm jutted out to the left. "That way, about 2.5 klicks." He turned to the team leader and raised the glare to level 5. "Exactly why didn't we bring a jumper?"
Sheppard tilted his head in the direction McKay had pointed, and smiled as Teyla and Ronon started pushing their way through the waist high wild grass. "Doc has been muttering about your cardio. Told him I'd make sure you got your PT time in."
"PT! I'm the CSO, not some mindless grunt." There was a beep from the scanner. "More to the left," he called towards Ronon who was on point.
"What type of signals are we talking here, McKay?"
"Energy." He might have continued but tripped forward."Stupid grass. Astroturf."
"There have been some great games played on Astroturf." Sheppard's hand reached out to steady him. "But I really don't see using it for a planet."
"What if it's pollinating? I could be being attacked by allergens right now! Should we have sent a botany team? Why isn't Lorne handling this?" McKay froze at this new series of thoughts.
Or froze until his tac vest was grabbed and tugged forward. "Energy signature?" asked Sheppard, continuing to
move through the waves of grass. "Do you really want the botanists to find whatever is out there?"
"It had better be good. It's almost as bad as wading through mud like the time my parents mixed up the rocket camp with the rock climbing camp." He shuddered at the memory. "Of course by the time I'd tested the ropes and all the levers and pulleys the group voted for me to stay behind." He quickened his pace at the pleasant memory. "I spent the whole time working through two high school math courses by correspondence in the mess."
"Only you would take homework to camp, McKay." The cornel shook his head and then stiffened as a low hum could be heard. "Ronon?"
Ronon dropped back. "Can't see anything. Grass gets shorter ahead." With that verbose report he moved towards the sound. The whole team was on high alert.
"It does seem to be coming from the energy signature." Rodney confirmed, sure that no one was surprised.
"Spread out."
Rodney was glad they were still using verbal commands. It wasn't that he couldn't learn the military hand jive but really, he was busy stuffing his brains with things that could save them. Things others couldn't learn. Added to the fact he hated to admit ignorance on something all the grunts did know. Well verbal commands were good.
"Colonel?" Teyla was in line with Ronon and had appeared to reach the edge of the tall grass. "There appear to be piles of hay."
"Hay must mean people. Are you sure your scanner's working right?"
"It's working fine and as far as the LSD says, we're the only living things in range. " He could question the veracity of the scans, but he didn't like when anyone else doubted them. Especially Sheppard and his jedi mind tricks with most Ancient tech.
The sound was to the far left of them, he and Sheppard caught up with where Ronon and Teyla were standing on the shorn grass. "See Astroturf is a good look. You could bring your golf clubs and see how you fare when you can spot where they actually land."
"McKay, shut up." The other three were focused on something heading their way. He could see moving grass and then suddenly a pile of hay appeared. He checked the LSD again. No new signs. The signal was clearly whatever was moving the grass. "It's not a ZPM, completely different signal." He started to walk towards the artefact, miffed that Sheppard had ignored the golf dig. The amount of time he'd wasted on virtual golf, you'd think he'd be pleased to play. Pushing that thought aside, Rodney kept looking from the scanner to the grassline.
"You know I think –"
Sheppard was ahead of him. "Really? This is what the Ancients did? A planet sized Roomba?"
As stupid as it sounded, Rodney wasn't able to dispute the basic truth as they watched a low machine cut, thresh and bale hay. It spat out another shoulder high pile and continued to mow at the grass.
"Such a device, if controlled, would save much work." Teyla investigated the hay stack. "Many agricultural worlds would marvel at this device."
"H'uh," was Ronon's contribution. "Can I shoot it?"
"No you can't shoot it," was Sheppard's automatic reply.
"This? This is why I had to walk miles? Next time I will leave it to the botany department." Rodney huffed, then sneezed as he got closer to where it was cutting. "I'm heading back, because unless this thing can spin straw into ZedPMs or coffee, I'm just not interested."
Author: Sunnyd_lite
Fandom: SGA
Setting: Season 2
Rating:G
Word Count:960
Summary: Oh those wacky Ancient Artifacts
"You know what I'd really like?" Rodney asked while surveying the field of what looked like, if he was feeling poetic which he wasn't, amber waves of grain as they exited the Stargate.
"ZPM," grumbled Ronan as he took point at the end of the splash zone.
"I believe you mentioned something called Shreddies three times at this morning's breakfast," Teyla said as she moved to cover the right quadrant.
"Jeez McKay, they pulled an empty coffee mug out of your hands as we left. Don't tell me you need another fix so soon." Sheppard pushed up his sunglasses and hustled the scientist into the long grass.
Rodney gave a level 3 glare at all of them; something they didn't even bother to register. He'd never been a part of a group long enough for them to become inured to his lower level glares. He looked down at what he refused to call a tricorder for any interesting signals. "Just once it would be nice to find a place with Astroturf for easy walking. And, unfortunately we will be walking." His arm jutted out to the left. "That way, about 2.5 klicks." He turned to the team leader and raised the glare to level 5. "Exactly why didn't we bring a jumper?"
Sheppard tilted his head in the direction McKay had pointed, and smiled as Teyla and Ronon started pushing their way through the waist high wild grass. "Doc has been muttering about your cardio. Told him I'd make sure you got your PT time in."
"PT! I'm the CSO, not some mindless grunt." There was a beep from the scanner. "More to the left," he called towards Ronon who was on point.
"What type of signals are we talking here, McKay?"
"Energy." He might have continued but tripped forward."Stupid grass. Astroturf."
"There have been some great games played on Astroturf." Sheppard's hand reached out to steady him. "But I really don't see using it for a planet."
"What if it's pollinating? I could be being attacked by allergens right now! Should we have sent a botany team? Why isn't Lorne handling this?" McKay froze at this new series of thoughts.
Or froze until his tac vest was grabbed and tugged forward. "Energy signature?" asked Sheppard, continuing to
move through the waves of grass. "Do you really want the botanists to find whatever is out there?"
"It had better be good. It's almost as bad as wading through mud like the time my parents mixed up the rocket camp with the rock climbing camp." He shuddered at the memory. "Of course by the time I'd tested the ropes and all the levers and pulleys the group voted for me to stay behind." He quickened his pace at the pleasant memory. "I spent the whole time working through two high school math courses by correspondence in the mess."
"Only you would take homework to camp, McKay." The cornel shook his head and then stiffened as a low hum could be heard. "Ronon?"
Ronon dropped back. "Can't see anything. Grass gets shorter ahead." With that verbose report he moved towards the sound. The whole team was on high alert.
"It does seem to be coming from the energy signature." Rodney confirmed, sure that no one was surprised.
"Spread out."
Rodney was glad they were still using verbal commands. It wasn't that he couldn't learn the military hand jive but really, he was busy stuffing his brains with things that could save them. Things others couldn't learn. Added to the fact he hated to admit ignorance on something all the grunts did know. Well verbal commands were good.
"Colonel?" Teyla was in line with Ronon and had appeared to reach the edge of the tall grass. "There appear to be piles of hay."
"Hay must mean people. Are you sure your scanner's working right?"
"It's working fine and as far as the LSD says, we're the only living things in range. " He could question the veracity of the scans, but he didn't like when anyone else doubted them. Especially Sheppard and his jedi mind tricks with most Ancient tech.
The sound was to the far left of them, he and Sheppard caught up with where Ronon and Teyla were standing on the shorn grass. "See Astroturf is a good look. You could bring your golf clubs and see how you fare when you can spot where they actually land."
"McKay, shut up." The other three were focused on something heading their way. He could see moving grass and then suddenly a pile of hay appeared. He checked the LSD again. No new signs. The signal was clearly whatever was moving the grass. "It's not a ZPM, completely different signal." He started to walk towards the artefact, miffed that Sheppard had ignored the golf dig. The amount of time he'd wasted on virtual golf, you'd think he'd be pleased to play. Pushing that thought aside, Rodney kept looking from the scanner to the grassline.
"You know I think –"
Sheppard was ahead of him. "Really? This is what the Ancients did? A planet sized Roomba?"
As stupid as it sounded, Rodney wasn't able to dispute the basic truth as they watched a low machine cut, thresh and bale hay. It spat out another shoulder high pile and continued to mow at the grass.
"Such a device, if controlled, would save much work." Teyla investigated the hay stack. "Many agricultural worlds would marvel at this device."
"H'uh," was Ronon's contribution. "Can I shoot it?"
"No you can't shoot it," was Sheppard's automatic reply.
"This? This is why I had to walk miles? Next time I will leave it to the botany department." Rodney huffed, then sneezed as he got closer to where it was cutting. "I'm heading back, because unless this thing can spin straw into ZedPMs or coffee, I'm just not interested."
