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tamingthemuseTitle: Litter Box Training
Fandom: Torchwood
Prompt: Astroturf
Rating: G
Summary: Crack
“Ianto? What the hell is that?” Jack demanded as he walked into the middle of the hub to find rolls of big green mats in three different corners of the hub. He came down the stairs and went over to one of them.
“Astrotruf,” Ianto told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He made his way over, a cup of coffee in both hands. He offered one to Jack and Jack took it because, no matter how confused he was, Ianto’s coffee was never be rejected. Especially when it was steaming hot. Jack burned his lip a bit but ignored it.
“I know what is it, what I want to know is why is it here? Are you planning to line the entire hub with Astroturf? I have to say I don’t think I like that idea in the least,” Jake admited and shook his head. He could put up with a lot, but fake green grass all over his place of business, more or less his house, not even for Ianto would he deal with that.
“Of course not, I’ve got better taste then that. I got it to put up by the pterodactyls nest so she can have something easier to grasp onto,” Ianto explained and Jack had to roll his eyes.
“So why do we have three rolls of it? She can’t possible need this much,” Jack said leaning against one of the giant rolls and giving Ianto a curious look.
“Well, I figure I can change it out every month or so. That way she won’t keep ruining the Hub with her waste,” Ianto told him and Jack had to laugh at that.
“Are you trying to little train our dinosaur?” Jack demanded and kept laughing. Leave it to Ianto to think up something like this. He wasn’t even surprised, almost maybe a little. The mental of a pterodactyl using a cat box came into his mind and he started laughing again.
“Isn’t the fact we have a dinosaur at all rather amusing?” Ianto asked and Jack glanced up to see that he was being glared at by the younger man. Jack tightened his lips and drew his back up.
“Sure, I guess, that is rather amusing,” Jack said still getting a stern stare down from the other man.
“Yes, well her droppings aren’t. Now you have a choice to make. Either you personally clean up her droppings every day like I do or you can put Astroturf into the regular Torchwood budget. In fact you do not even have to touch the paper work. I’ll write up all the necessary forms and all you have to bloody do is sign them,” Ianto said obviously passionate about his rather absurd idea.
“Alright, Ianto, I’ll add it into the budget, but don’t’ be surprised or upset when it doesn’t work,” Jack warned him.
“Oh, sure, you forget how I can be when I’m determined. She’ll be house trained within the year,” Ianto said looking up at the lizard that was flying about their heads. Although jack knew better he didn’t doubt Ianto would keep trying.
Fandom: Torchwood
Prompt: Astroturf
Rating: G
Summary: Crack
“Ianto? What the hell is that?” Jack demanded as he walked into the middle of the hub to find rolls of big green mats in three different corners of the hub. He came down the stairs and went over to one of them.
“Astrotruf,” Ianto told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He made his way over, a cup of coffee in both hands. He offered one to Jack and Jack took it because, no matter how confused he was, Ianto’s coffee was never be rejected. Especially when it was steaming hot. Jack burned his lip a bit but ignored it.
“I know what is it, what I want to know is why is it here? Are you planning to line the entire hub with Astroturf? I have to say I don’t think I like that idea in the least,” Jake admited and shook his head. He could put up with a lot, but fake green grass all over his place of business, more or less his house, not even for Ianto would he deal with that.
“Of course not, I’ve got better taste then that. I got it to put up by the pterodactyls nest so she can have something easier to grasp onto,” Ianto explained and Jack had to roll his eyes.
“So why do we have three rolls of it? She can’t possible need this much,” Jack said leaning against one of the giant rolls and giving Ianto a curious look.
“Well, I figure I can change it out every month or so. That way she won’t keep ruining the Hub with her waste,” Ianto told him and Jack had to laugh at that.
“Are you trying to little train our dinosaur?” Jack demanded and kept laughing. Leave it to Ianto to think up something like this. He wasn’t even surprised, almost maybe a little. The mental of a pterodactyl using a cat box came into his mind and he started laughing again.
“Isn’t the fact we have a dinosaur at all rather amusing?” Ianto asked and Jack glanced up to see that he was being glared at by the younger man. Jack tightened his lips and drew his back up.
“Sure, I guess, that is rather amusing,” Jack said still getting a stern stare down from the other man.
“Yes, well her droppings aren’t. Now you have a choice to make. Either you personally clean up her droppings every day like I do or you can put Astroturf into the regular Torchwood budget. In fact you do not even have to touch the paper work. I’ll write up all the necessary forms and all you have to bloody do is sign them,” Ianto said obviously passionate about his rather absurd idea.
“Alright, Ianto, I’ll add it into the budget, but don’t’ be surprised or upset when it doesn’t work,” Jack warned him.
“Oh, sure, you forget how I can be when I’m determined. She’ll be house trained within the year,” Ianto said looking up at the lizard that was flying about their heads. Although jack knew better he didn’t doubt Ianto would keep trying.
