[identity profile] amaranthine-7.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] tamingthemuse
Title: Scared
Fandom: Original (based on the Arthurian Legends)
Prompt: #312 - Catch as catch can
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian Legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: The past still haunts Mordred.

A long time ago there has been a plan to his life, a certain direction to take and a goal to accomplish. It had driven him even if in the ed it had never been his plan, never been his desire. There has still been a fire burning inside of him, making him feel alive.

He turned in his side, looking at the half naked figure of Galahad in bed next to him. He had had a purpose as well, a destiny to fulfil. Had he felt the same fire consuming him? He didn't think so. He had always looked so pure and innocent. It probably hadn't been a fire inside of him but something much more gentler.

He rested his head against the other man's chest. He closed his eyes and listened to the calm beating of his heart, trying to regulate his own to the same beat. Maybe if he could calm himself like Galahad he wouldn't be so troubled.

Long minutes passed, the darkness enveloping him, dragging him down. He couldn't slow the rhythm of his hear. The harder he tried, the faster he beat. His hand gripped the side of the other man. He heard a moan as the half naked body of Galahad shifted under his head.

"Shhhh....," he whispered trying to soothe him. "I'm sorry... Go back to sleep now."

"Mordred," his voice was thick with sleep.

"Go back to sleep," repeated Mordred as he laid a soft kiss on his friend's chest.

He felt Galahad's hand caressing his hair tenderly.

"You're a good man Mordred."

He didn't reply to the comment.

"I mean it. Stop torturing yourself."

Galahad shifted once more, forcing Mordred's head to leave his chest but the contact wasn't lost for long. He moved to embrace him in his arm, enclosing him against him, making their body fit easily against each other.

"You're a good man."

Mordred stopped his breathing for a second, trying to control the panic rising in him.

"And it doesn't matter what you did. You changed. You have a second chance."

Galahad kissed the top of his head and started to caress his back. Mordred felt his breathing start again, slower, calmer under the contact of the warm hands of the other man.

"You can be whoever you want to be." Hs head bent closer to Mordred's ear. "Start again, choose anything."

Mordred clenched his jaw. He didn't know what he wanted to be. He didn't know how to forget the sat, to forgive himself and start again.

"We'll figure things out. You and me."

Galahad arms pressed Mordred's body a little harder against him.

You and me. The words resonated into his ears. Us.
It hit him suddenly as he sensed Galahad's heart beat alongside his. He wasn't alone. He had someone else to worry about, someone who could help him. Someone who could direct him without pushing him.

"Yes. You and me...," he whispered in the darkness. "You and me."

He closed his eyes and let his mind stop spinning, the fire extinguishing as he drifted off into sleep in the arms of his lover.
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