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tamingthemuse2007-05-03 02:35 pm
articulatedream.livejournal.com) wrote in tamingthemuse2007-05-03 02:35 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Title: Asylum
Rating: PG-13ish
Warnings: mentions of abuse, BDSM elements
Author's Note:crit is definitely craved on this piece as I'm not sure I like how it came out at all. The quotes below are part of my inspiration for this bit of fic.
"Two peas, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and all the ice cream you can eat" -Secretary
"You can tell by the scars on my arms
and the dents in my hips,
and the bruises on my thighs
and cracks on my lips
that I'm not the carefullest of girls"
-Girl Anachronism, The Dresden Dolls
Anna had never really been what you'd call in control of her life. Easily distracted and led off course she was a veritable whirlpool of emotions. Going one way voraciously and moments later changing her course drastically. At least, that is, until she met Daniel.
Daniel was everything she wasn't. Darkly stunning to her blonde invisibility. Calm, collected, motivated, and completely on course. Before him, the world had been impressions. Blurred images painted in bold hues of red and blue. After, it had become vivid. A photograph taken by memory.
At first the changes were minimal. Her quiet voice took on a slightly stronger note, and her posture changed. After a time however, the world sat up and took notice. Anna turned from the coltish young thing thst had never shrugged off the awkwardness of adolescence, into someone comfortable in their own skin. Needless to say, those who were close to Anna were pleased to see Daniel pull her from the exile she'd created within herself. Even to outsiders, it was easy to see the two were in love. Everything seemed fine.
Until the first time Anna showed up with a dark ring of a bruise around her wrist. Her friends questioned her about it, but Anna's only response was to indicate it had happened at Asylum. Whatever that was supposed to mean. At Anna's calm if vague answers, the questions tapered off. And days turned into weeks and months. The blonde woman continued to grow into herself and while her friends were pleased at that change they were also worried. Worried, because Anna still appeared with bruises. Fingermarks here, rope burn there, long unidentifiable marks that wrapped down and around her back.
There were the same answers to every question, no matter how often it was asked or by whom. Her answer was always 'Asylum'. The questions were posed by friends, family and at one point coworkers. No one was satisfied with the answers given, but neither did they want to push Anna into her former mediocrity. So they allowed her answers, consoling themselves with the fact that Anna didn't seem bruised, and showed no other signs of an abusive relationship.
Everything had been calm for weeks when Anna showed up to a saturday outing with a simple black collar on. It had a tiny musical bell that fell into the hollow of her throat. The outing, was to a nice restaurant and Anna's friends had demanded she remove the collar. When Anna responded that she couldn't, because it was locked on, chaos exploded.
"Anna just what the hell is going on with you."
"There is nothing going on Elle, I've told you this before."
"No, what you've told me for the past year is that every questionable bruise or mark was from Asylum. Exactly what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Anna sighed quietly before responding.
"Do you know what an Asylum is?"
"Yes, its a place where they throw crazy people in and lock away the key. And frankly, I'm starting to think that maybe we should send you to one for a sabbatical."
"Oh, don't be daft. Besides which, thats only one definition. Theres another one. Its also a place of respite, 'a place of security and retreat'"
"So what, you go for respite and come back with bruises? What the hell is that?"
"He hides me from the world, my asylum." Elle's dark eyes narrowed.
"Are you seeing someone else? Gods Anna! Are you cheating on Daniel?" Anna's face went shock cold before she let out a harsh, choked laugh.
"Daniel is my Asylum. They are one and the same."
"So what? You let him hurt you? I've seen you show up with bruises and now you appear with a collar on like...like...some kind of..pet with a collar on?" Anna laughed again. Quiet this time though.
"I am though. I'm his pet, And I know he loves and cherishes me all the more for it. But he doesn't hurt me-"
"That's bullshit I've se-"
"Quiet on what you don't understand." Her voice was angry, low and vicious. "You think Daniel hurts me? Its the world that hurts me. To the point where the man I love does things that its uncouth to speak of in polite company."
"Cleanse your soul?" Elle's perfectly shaped eyebrow rose nearly to her hairline. "Are those his words from you're mouth."
"Quite the contrary. Have you ever sliced yourself open to make sure you're still alive? or to try and bleed our Elle?"
"I don't...I mean..."
"Do you know what its like to feel that itch under your skin? Telling you to tear it away and throw everything away? I do. Its why Daniel is my Asylum. Because he sees that turbulent impulsivity within me and quiets it. To feel the kiss od rope on my wrists, or the bite of the whip on my back is freeing. Do I look broken or wounded to you? If anything I am stronger than I've ever been. There is more freedom for me with a collar locked around my neck than you will ever be able to comprehend."
".."
"You can't understand what its like then. Can't understand the need for pain. The maddening craving it induces. Razorlades started the addiction and I don't know if anything can sate it. But you didn't notice then did you?"
"Anna please!"
"You didn't notice a damn thing that I was doing to myself until Daniel came about and made me worth a damn in society's eyes. The scars I have? Those are self inflicted, not by the hand of my Master."
"That's-You're sick!"
"No. For the first time in my life, I'm okay. I've found my Asylum."
Rating: PG-13ish
Warnings: mentions of abuse, BDSM elements
Author's Note:crit is definitely craved on this piece as I'm not sure I like how it came out at all. The quotes below are part of my inspiration for this bit of fic.
"Two peas, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, and all the ice cream you can eat" -Secretary
"You can tell by the scars on my arms
and the dents in my hips,
and the bruises on my thighs
and cracks on my lips
that I'm not the carefullest of girls"
-Girl Anachronism, The Dresden Dolls
Anna had never really been what you'd call in control of her life. Easily distracted and led off course she was a veritable whirlpool of emotions. Going one way voraciously and moments later changing her course drastically. At least, that is, until she met Daniel.
Daniel was everything she wasn't. Darkly stunning to her blonde invisibility. Calm, collected, motivated, and completely on course. Before him, the world had been impressions. Blurred images painted in bold hues of red and blue. After, it had become vivid. A photograph taken by memory.
At first the changes were minimal. Her quiet voice took on a slightly stronger note, and her posture changed. After a time however, the world sat up and took notice. Anna turned from the coltish young thing thst had never shrugged off the awkwardness of adolescence, into someone comfortable in their own skin. Needless to say, those who were close to Anna were pleased to see Daniel pull her from the exile she'd created within herself. Even to outsiders, it was easy to see the two were in love. Everything seemed fine.
Until the first time Anna showed up with a dark ring of a bruise around her wrist. Her friends questioned her about it, but Anna's only response was to indicate it had happened at Asylum. Whatever that was supposed to mean. At Anna's calm if vague answers, the questions tapered off. And days turned into weeks and months. The blonde woman continued to grow into herself and while her friends were pleased at that change they were also worried. Worried, because Anna still appeared with bruises. Fingermarks here, rope burn there, long unidentifiable marks that wrapped down and around her back.
There were the same answers to every question, no matter how often it was asked or by whom. Her answer was always 'Asylum'. The questions were posed by friends, family and at one point coworkers. No one was satisfied with the answers given, but neither did they want to push Anna into her former mediocrity. So they allowed her answers, consoling themselves with the fact that Anna didn't seem bruised, and showed no other signs of an abusive relationship.
Everything had been calm for weeks when Anna showed up to a saturday outing with a simple black collar on. It had a tiny musical bell that fell into the hollow of her throat. The outing, was to a nice restaurant and Anna's friends had demanded she remove the collar. When Anna responded that she couldn't, because it was locked on, chaos exploded.
"Anna just what the hell is going on with you."
"There is nothing going on Elle, I've told you this before."
"No, what you've told me for the past year is that every questionable bruise or mark was from Asylum. Exactly what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Anna sighed quietly before responding.
"Do you know what an Asylum is?"
"Yes, its a place where they throw crazy people in and lock away the key. And frankly, I'm starting to think that maybe we should send you to one for a sabbatical."
"Oh, don't be daft. Besides which, thats only one definition. Theres another one. Its also a place of respite, 'a place of security and retreat'"
"So what, you go for respite and come back with bruises? What the hell is that?"
"He hides me from the world, my asylum." Elle's dark eyes narrowed.
"Are you seeing someone else? Gods Anna! Are you cheating on Daniel?" Anna's face went shock cold before she let out a harsh, choked laugh.
"Daniel is my Asylum. They are one and the same."
"So what? You let him hurt you? I've seen you show up with bruises and now you appear with a collar on like...like...some kind of..pet with a collar on?" Anna laughed again. Quiet this time though.
"I am though. I'm his pet, And I know he loves and cherishes me all the more for it. But he doesn't hurt me-"
"That's bullshit I've se-"
"Quiet on what you don't understand." Her voice was angry, low and vicious. "You think Daniel hurts me? Its the world that hurts me. To the point where the man I love does things that its uncouth to speak of in polite company."
"Cleanse your soul?" Elle's perfectly shaped eyebrow rose nearly to her hairline. "Are those his words from you're mouth."
"Quite the contrary. Have you ever sliced yourself open to make sure you're still alive? or to try and bleed our Elle?"
"I don't...I mean..."
"Do you know what its like to feel that itch under your skin? Telling you to tear it away and throw everything away? I do. Its why Daniel is my Asylum. Because he sees that turbulent impulsivity within me and quiets it. To feel the kiss od rope on my wrists, or the bite of the whip on my back is freeing. Do I look broken or wounded to you? If anything I am stronger than I've ever been. There is more freedom for me with a collar locked around my neck than you will ever be able to comprehend."
".."
"You can't understand what its like then. Can't understand the need for pain. The maddening craving it induces. Razorlades started the addiction and I don't know if anything can sate it. But you didn't notice then did you?"
"Anna please!"
"You didn't notice a damn thing that I was doing to myself until Daniel came about and made me worth a damn in society's eyes. The scars I have? Those are self inflicted, not by the hand of my Master."
"That's-You're sick!"
"No. For the first time in my life, I'm okay. I've found my Asylum."