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tamingthemuseTitle: What have I done?
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 447 - Rhetorical question
Warnings: N/A
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Arthur jerked his head up. "Preg..." The rest of the word felt stuck in his throat and for an instant he couldn't breathe.
"You said you'd be here always!" Arthur yelled at Merlin. "You lied, you lied, you lied!" He stomped around the room before stopping in front of his master, eyes staring angrily in the old man's eyes.
Merlin stood silently, his back relaxed against the chair. He held his student's gaze for a long minute before talking. "Arthur sit down." His voice was authoritative and calm. Arthur felt compelled to obey. He went to sat on the nearest chair but as his body touch the wood he erupted upwards.
"No! I will not obey you blindly. Not when you lie to me."
"Did I now?" Merlin replied, but his tone contained the answer. He did not believe he had lied. "I said I would always be there in hours of need. This was not an hour of need."
"I slept with my sister!" Arthur was an inch away from Merlin. "How is that not an hour of need?"
"You won a battle. I did not judge it an hour of need. What happened between you and Morgause was your own doing." Merlin stated. "I understand your anger but you have only yourself to blame."
Arthur took a step back at the words. He clenched his fists, wanting to hit his old master but he knew he was telling the truth. Merlin had not been needed that night and it was his own fault that he had succumbed to his sister's charms. He had felt proud, cocky and over confident. He had become a lesser man and had let himself be carried away by the drunkenness of his first important victory.
He stepped back, falling on the chair, his fists unclenching. He looked at the ground and whispered his voice trembling, "can you help me Merlin?"
There was a long pause before the old man answered. "Of course Arthur. This is an hour of need. You don't know it yet but your sister is pregnant."
Arthur jerked his head up. "Preg..." The rest of the word felt stuck in his throat and for an instant he couldn't breathe. "Oh Merlin..." He shook his head and closed his eyes, wishing the world away. "What have I done?"
---*---
The question he had asked Merlin all those years ago resonated in his mind as he looked upon the battlefield. What have I done? All of this was his own doing. He had sinned and failed once and a lifetime of redemption had not been enough. He had tried. He had loved, loved so much he had let his wife and best friend be happy in spite of their fault. He had cherished every young knight and welcomed them, giving them a new home. He had made no exception for him, for his son. He had tried to love him, to see past his devious ways so like his mother. But he had failed, or maybe he had not tried hard enough. He didn't know any longer.
"What I have done," he whispered softly into the wind. "What I have done?"
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 447 - Rhetorical question
Warnings: N/A
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Arthur jerked his head up. "Preg..." The rest of the word felt stuck in his throat and for an instant he couldn't breathe.
"You said you'd be here always!" Arthur yelled at Merlin. "You lied, you lied, you lied!" He stomped around the room before stopping in front of his master, eyes staring angrily in the old man's eyes.
Merlin stood silently, his back relaxed against the chair. He held his student's gaze for a long minute before talking. "Arthur sit down." His voice was authoritative and calm. Arthur felt compelled to obey. He went to sat on the nearest chair but as his body touch the wood he erupted upwards.
"No! I will not obey you blindly. Not when you lie to me."
"Did I now?" Merlin replied, but his tone contained the answer. He did not believe he had lied. "I said I would always be there in hours of need. This was not an hour of need."
"I slept with my sister!" Arthur was an inch away from Merlin. "How is that not an hour of need?"
"You won a battle. I did not judge it an hour of need. What happened between you and Morgause was your own doing." Merlin stated. "I understand your anger but you have only yourself to blame."
Arthur took a step back at the words. He clenched his fists, wanting to hit his old master but he knew he was telling the truth. Merlin had not been needed that night and it was his own fault that he had succumbed to his sister's charms. He had felt proud, cocky and over confident. He had become a lesser man and had let himself be carried away by the drunkenness of his first important victory.
He stepped back, falling on the chair, his fists unclenching. He looked at the ground and whispered his voice trembling, "can you help me Merlin?"
There was a long pause before the old man answered. "Of course Arthur. This is an hour of need. You don't know it yet but your sister is pregnant."
Arthur jerked his head up. "Preg..." The rest of the word felt stuck in his throat and for an instant he couldn't breathe. "Oh Merlin..." He shook his head and closed his eyes, wishing the world away. "What have I done?"
---*---
The question he had asked Merlin all those years ago resonated in his mind as he looked upon the battlefield. What have I done? All of this was his own doing. He had sinned and failed once and a lifetime of redemption had not been enough. He had tried. He had loved, loved so much he had let his wife and best friend be happy in spite of their fault. He had cherished every young knight and welcomed them, giving them a new home. He had made no exception for him, for his son. He had tried to love him, to see past his devious ways so like his mother. But he had failed, or maybe he had not tried hard enough. He didn't know any longer.
"What I have done," he whispered softly into the wind. "What I have done?"
