I don't know this fandom, so I have no idea what is going on and why Aoi suddenly manifests as a demon (unless that was a metephor? You can never tell when reading in an unknown fandom *g*), but you have some lovely imagery here - the moon slicing mercilessly through the sky's diamonds like an arcing guillotine is a really interesting one, but it is the descriptions of actions that I particularly liked, like Aoi's manners - Occasionally she would offer up the perfect, trailing thought or question and Keith's feelings when he hands over his spoils - like some army trading over supplies for Prisoners of War they didn't want That is very nice.
Thank you.