Your use of visual imagery is lovely - vivid and rich. The picture of the bonnet, valiantly struggling, but ultimately twirling away is really nice. As are her dreams of a different life.
However, if you don't mind me saying, there is a slight problem with the first line, since at the end she dies. So to say - The one thing she would remember most about that night... doesn't actually make sense. I also didn't understand the last paragraph. 233 miles is a long way, so is the gnarled body the car, or Elizabeth? And who gathered, the reeds?
I loved the last image of the stars having the indecency to shine in the face of death.
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Date: 2008-03-09 10:57 am (UTC)However, if you don't mind me saying, there is a slight problem with the first line, since at the end she dies. So to say - The one thing she would remember most about that night... doesn't actually make sense.
I also didn't understand the last paragraph. 233 miles is a long way, so is the gnarled body the car, or Elizabeth? And who gathered, the reeds?
I loved the last image of the stars having the indecency to shine in the face of death.