Prompt #86-Juggling

[tigerstriped86.livejournal.com]

Title: Kingdom Hearts IV: Relic War (Chap. 1)
Author: tigerstriped86
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (no pairings yet)

Summary: The beginning of a new Kingdom Hearts War.  This time, Jace Incredible is in the Driver's seat to Hero History.  See what changes have taken place between the Second Heart War (known in this universe as KH2 and now).  Started for Prompt 86: Juggling and because the thought came to me in a dream.
Rating: T: For cartoon violence and bad puns
Warning:  I don't own the KH or Disney franchises (or characters) and any basis in reality is purely coincedental.   I barely own a case of Chef Boyardee ravioli, which I love.  Only the plot and certain characters like "Rusty" are my invention.    And it's pretty darn awesome if I do say so myself.  Enjoy!



Click the link here:  
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4123625/1/Kingdom_Hearts_IV_The_Relic_War

The LJ Cut wasn't working; my apologies

Comments

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

What an amazingly weird story. It reads like a cross between a psychedelic dream and a kids cartoon. Confusing, but great fun!

Small point re grammar (and I hope you don't mind):
Your use of 'I' in these sentences is incorrect, they should be 'me' -
The black tentacles attacked and began to crush Rusty and I against the wall.
We were hoping you could tell John and I.
John, you drive Lilly and I in your car
While in this - John and I both sighed - it is correct.
The easiest way to decide which you should use, is to imagine taking the second person out of the sentence and see if it still makes sense eg
to crush I - or - to crush me?
you could tell I - or - you could tell me?
you drive I - or - you drive me?
I sighed - or - me sighed?
See what I mean? I hope you don't mind me passing that tip on to you, but it is one of the most useful tips I've ever been told myself.