I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and it brought you peace.
I had typed into the author's note but deleted a couple of things...
first, I took a week's LOA from work to be with her...we talked and touched base on a lot of different things that had been on her mind and mine for a long time...we cleared the air, not that there was much to clear by that time...she had become more than Grandma, she was also my champion...the last two days that I was off work, she was near-comatose and total care, which I was glad to do for her...how could I not? She had never balked in any way in caring for me...the Sunday before she died, the entire family was gathered around, and I informed them then that they needed to tell her goodbye and that it was all right for her to go on home--something that my "Bible-thumping God-fearing" aunt by marriage was offended by, but who cared at that point?
I went back to work on Monday. She let go and went home at 6:45 Tuesday morning, thirty minutes before I was supposed to go home for the day...I believe in my heart that she didn't want me there because she knew that it would be hard for me to let her go, although I knew her wishes and what she wanted...
She wasn't just happy to go in that last moment--she ached for it, and told me so more than once. She knew that she had to pass on the messages but she was missing it from the moment that she left, and I was glad (yes, I can say that I was glad) that she got to go home and be with the ones that she loved and missed so much. I believe that she leaped out of her body and greeted them in midair...and that, in truth, makes me smile...
I only hope that my transformation is as peaceful as hers.
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Date: 2006-10-16 05:58 am (UTC)I had typed into the author's note but deleted a couple of things...
first, I took a week's LOA from work to be with her...we talked and touched base on a lot of different things that had been on her mind and mine for a long time...we cleared the air, not that there was much to clear by that time...she had become more than Grandma, she was also my champion...the last two days that I was off work, she was near-comatose and total care, which I was glad to do for her...how could I not? She had never balked in any way in caring for me...the Sunday before she died, the entire family was gathered around, and I informed them then that they needed to tell her goodbye and that it was all right for her to go on home--something that my "Bible-thumping God-fearing" aunt by marriage was offended by, but who cared at that point?
I went back to work on Monday. She let go and went home at 6:45 Tuesday morning, thirty minutes before I was supposed to go home for the day...I believe in my heart that she didn't want me there because she knew that it would be hard for me to let her go, although I knew her wishes and what she wanted...
She wasn't just happy to go in that last moment--she ached for it, and told me so more than once. She knew that she had to pass on the messages but she was missing it from the moment that she left, and I was glad (yes, I can say that I was glad) that she got to go home and be with the ones that she loved and missed so much. I believe that she leaped out of her body and greeted them in midair...and that, in truth, makes me smile...
I only hope that my transformation is as peaceful as hers.