Welcome to Taming the Muse.
I really liked your Spike voice here, especially - you didn’t see Spike wax poetical about his latest bag of AB positive, no sir. Poncy thing to do anyway, wax poetic, which made me smile.
But you have a particularly good way with describing movement. The blow by blow description of Spike eating was beautifully described. I could picture every movement and you told the story there through the movements alone, which is what makes a story a good read, in my opinion. Well done.