A character study in raw emotion. This works very well. The language is evocative and the hopelessness she's combating shines through.
One minor criticism. She's walking to the crypt (you make that very clear) then suddenly she's walking into her house. The addition of a line or two about either entering or leaving the crypt (describing what happens inside would be superfluous for this story) would make this less jarring.
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Date: 2006-07-20 02:47 am (UTC)One minor criticism. She's walking to the crypt (you make that very clear) then suddenly she's walking into her house. The addition of a line or two about either entering or leaving the crypt (describing what happens inside would be superfluous for this story) would make this less jarring.