Prompt# 109 - Anguish - Don't Turn Back - Tekia - original

[tekia.livejournal.com]

I totally forgot that today was Saturday. :( I have to work tonight and won't get off until eleven, so I gotta post now. Wow, I had already made up all the links and everything! Sweet.

Title: Don’t Turn Back
Fandom: original from Maybe This is What Happened story line.
Prompt: Anguish
Warnings: none.
Rating: PG
Summary: Safed turned away from Try and his lies, and now he copes with what he’s lost.

For this one, I had just finished a meme, where I took the first sentence from a page from a book and wrote something for it, using my character. And now have to rewrite it in the correct point of view. -_-
Pg. 30 - “You’ve lost everything,” she said…

Folding his arms over his chest, Safed turned his head away from her, not wanting her to see the emotions he knew he couldn’t hide. Whenever his thoughts dwelled on what had become of the youth he had once been, years ago, it was all he could do to keep himself from breaking down.
“It doesn’t really matter, does it? It was only lessons in magic, after all.”
She shook her head, “No, it was so much more than just that for you, yes?” She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, her long fingers rubbing gently. “You had such hero worship for him, such love.”
He shook my head, not denying the charge, but trying to make her understand that he didn’t want to speak of it. he caught her hand in his own and tugged her around so that he could bury his face in her softness, wetting her blouse.
Her arms came around him and held him much like his mother would have, had she been here. Then he really did want his mother, and he cried for all that he had done, for all that he had lost.
“I shouldn’t have left him,” he sobbed into the cloth of her blouse and didn’t hear any reply, if she had even made one. Instead, her hand threaded through his hair and he could feel her humming through her skin.
As his tears slowed, he pulled away and gave her a watery smile, which she returned. he was startled to see tears in her eyes as well. He reached out and traced one wet track down her cheek. She gave a soft laugh and quickly wiped at her face
“I’m sorry. I’m the one that’s suppose to be strong for you, right?” She turned away and went to her vanity, looking in the flawless mirror and brushing at her reddened eyes. “It’s just, when I see you cry, it hurts me.” She turned back to him, her smile firmly in place. “You’re my soul’s brother, my magic keeper. What hurts you, hurts me.”
Dumbfounded, he stood and walked to her, taking her in his arms. “Try told me that when you lost your wings, you lost your magic, and your connection to me. Was that a lie as well?”
He felt her shake her head against his shoulder. “No, no, that’s true enough, but, well, I love you. I love you like you’re my own family.” She reached up and cupped his chin, being strong for him. “I love you like the brother you are to me. That is what has united our souls, beyond the magic I’ve given you.”
“I don’t want to cause you any more pain than what you’ve already suffered.”
She giggled, her fist hiding her smile as she rested her head against his chest. “Silly, Safed,” she said in her sweet voice, “this is nothing to the pain in your heart.”
He really wished she hadn’t reminded him. The smile slipped from his lips and he let his arms drop from around her and went back to sitting and staring out the window, out across the softly rolling hills of his homeland. Well, close enough. Less than two weeks travel by carriage would see him to his parents home, but was that where he really wanted to go?
He held a hand to where his heart pained him and sighed deeply. “I feel so lost. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was learn magic. While I was learning, all I wanted to do was impress Try. Now… what do I have?”
She came back to kneel before him, touching cool fingers to his hand. “Safed, must you leave him? Must you leave your heart behind?”
He did something that might have been considered a laugh, but shook his head. “He’s lied to me from the very beginning. He used me.”
“I think he loves you.”
“Fine way he has of showing it. Kiwi, you have no idea what I’ve gone through for him.” His eyes pleaded with her. “I can’t go back, knowing that he didn’t raise one hand to stop it, even though he could have.”
She bit her lip and settled on the floor, her eyes lowered in thought. “Are you going to return home, then? To your father and mother?”
“I don’t know. How can I face them. They didn’t want me to go because they feared I would be hurt.” There was that laugh again. “And here I am, in anguish over him, although not for the reason they feared.”
“You really did love him.” It wasn’t a question, but he nodded anyway.
“From the moment I saw him in the street, looking at me through that window.”
She laid her head on his knee and drew a pattern on the rug under them. “You learned magic from him.”
“So I did. What am I to do with it, hum? I’ve never thought about that either.”
“You will be my personal mage, of course.” Her head whipped up and a blindingly bright smile lit her features. He felt his heart melt at the sight. While she loved him as a brother, he loved her like a little sister. Her smile was contagious, and even though he really didn’t want to, he felt a smile turning his lips up. Her back straightened and she turned her eyes up toward the ceiling as she thought. “You’ll live in the castle, and have your own suite of rooms. And rugs. It gets horribly cold here in winter and you’ll be grateful for the rugs.”
Shaking his head at her, he let her go on, tuning her out as he remembered the quaint cave he and Try had shared. It had never been cold there. Even if it had been, he had always found warmth in his bed. Forcefully pushing those thoughts away, he sat back in the chair he had resumed when looking out the window. Kiwi stood and moved to the wall where a bell pull hung behind a curtain hanging from the ceiling.
He smiled at how the room so reminded him of Ix’An’s palace. Kiwi had loved the desert Emperor’s culture as much as he had. He guessed he hadn’t loved it enough, for he couldn’t stay there after leaving Try. It was too close to him.
Anywhere was too close for a demon that could teleport as easily as snapping his fingers. As easily as smiling while lying to him. He drew up his knee and hugged his arms around it as more tears filled his eyes.
He loved him, and this is what he got in return, heartache. From behind, he felt Kiwi’s arms encircle him and he rested her head on her shoulder.
“All will be well, you’ll see, love.”
He hummed something, his eyes heavy after all his tears. He still longed for Try’s arms, but how could he want to go back, knowing that the demon felt nothing while lying to him, about everything?
How could he trust him ever again? How could he trust him with his heart?