prompt #148 - revive - Everything He'd Ever Wanted - sparklybee - The Phantom of the Opera

[sparklybee.livejournal.com]

Fandom: Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux
Title: Everything He'd Ever Wanted
Characters: Christine Daaé, Erik
Prompt: tamingthemuse 148 revive
Word Count: 539
Rating: PG
Summary: Erik learns the meaning of "be careful what you wish for." I'm not sure where this story came from, or what it means. Ha.

Everything that Erik has ever dreamed of is now his.

For many years, Erik hadn’t allowed himself to hope for anything; he’d learned from experience that such flights of fantasy always resulted in disappointment. But, on the day that he had caught his first glimpse of Christine, everything had changed.

He spent months imagining how his life would be if only Christine was his. He delighted in losing himself to a myriad of crazy, impossible dreams that he knew could never, ever come true: a kiss on the forehead, the liberty of cradling her gloved hands with his own skeletal ones, the pleasure of her voice melding with his…

There was one dream in particular that Erik entertained more than the others. He often pictured Christine sitting on the sofa with piecework in her lap. It was the most domestic scene he could conjure; Erik’s poor, unfortunate mother had spent many evenings in the same way during his youth. At first, Erik was content to stand in the doorway and silently observe her in his mind’s eye, but eventually he began to fantasize that he would approach her. His footsteps would be muffled by the thick carpet, but eventually she would look up at him and smile.

It was always her smile that shattered the illusion for Erik, because no one had ever smiled at him before. No matter how he tried to extend the fantasy, he could not move past that point. Sometimes he wept bitterly, but sometimes his own lips, as thin as they were, would attempt to mirror Christine’s expression. And Erik thought, in his childishness, that if only this one dream came true, he would be happy for as long as he lived.

But now, Erik has no need for such fantasies, because Christine is here with him, in the flesh. It is not an illusion that occupies his sofa. It is not a trick of his mind that hums beneath her breath.

And she smiles at him once in a while, that wan smile that never reaches her eyes, that familiar little smile that is so lacking in passion and life, that empty smile that haunts him…

Everything that Erik has ever dreamed of is now his. But dreams wither in stagnant air, and the ever-present darkness of his lair stunts their growth. Erik never realized how limited his own mind had become until he possessed everything that he had wanted. And now, after it is too late, after he has unintentionally crushed her with his clumsy grasping fingers, he knows how empty those dreams were.

She is here, and yet she is not. Christine has left only this shell behind, a mannequin that breathes and moves and sings and smiles but never lives. And Erik, with all his intelligence, still has no idea how to get her back, how to revive Christine’s spirit.

Instead, Erik finds himself retreating into the familiar and fantasizing of arguments, of anger, of passion, of fixing her, of anything except this fragile little automaton that sits so primly on his sofa.

He once had everything that he had ever dreamed of; perhaps, if he is lucky, that will be true again someday.

also posted here

[week 17]

Comments

[delilahdraken]

Oh, that was great. So bitter-sweet and sad.

I liked this little glimpse into Erik's head very much.

[sparklybee.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :) I'm glad that you liked it. I always like trying to glance inside his thoughts, although it's really hard to get into his head since he's so complicated.