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tamingthemuseTitle: Chaotic Dreams
Fandom: BtVS
Pairing/Characters: Giles/Ethan Rayne
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nada, zilch, but I do so love the characters that I can't stop getting them out of the box to play with.
Summary: Set just after the S2 episode 'Halloween'; Giles goes to the costume shop to find it deserted, but Ethan has left him a note to say 'Be Seeing You'. Back home, Giles contemplates his past, and Ethan's part in it - and dreams.
Prompt #177 - Courage
Word Count: 1011
Giles opened the dusty bottle of Glenmorangie that he'd found tucked away behind Voltark's Demonology Catalogue, Book II, and poured himself a good glug. Seeing Ethan Rayne had shaken him more than he'd care to admit to the children. Memories had raced back to ambush him and the raw violence that he'd shrouded in indifference in front of them was still bubbling. Ethan did that to him even after all the years and the miles Giles had placed between them.
It grew dark as Giles sat brooding, swirling the amber liquid around the tumbler as he mused. He was finding it hard to deal with his feelings, as always, about Ethan. Excitement, dread, love, lust and loathing all fought for dominance, and Giles gave up trying to settle on just one. More scotch eased his turmoil and he eventually dropped off to sleep, still in the dark, his head lolling on his chest.
Giles dreamed. Chanting echoed off the walls of a grotto, torchlight flickering. He could feel the cold, damp stone beneath his back as he lay, naked save for a flimsy robe that just covered his groin. He tried to move his hands and found that they were tied with rough rope, and a cautious kick of his legs confirmed that his ankles were also restrained. He looked around him, squinting in the dim light as he tried to focus, his glasses missing.
The chanting changed and Giles tried to raise his head as he heard the swish of robes and footsteps of somebody approaching. The figure stopped outside his line of sight but Giles knew who it was. His scent was unmistakable.
“Ripper. Glad you could make it. Delighted to see you've kept in shape, old boy. You'll need your stamina.”
“Ethan Rayne,” Giles whispered, and back in the armchair under cover of night, he thrashed his head in time to the dream.
The dream changed; instead of a grotto Giles was in a dingy room lit by a low-wattage bulb beneath a cheap shade, bare of all furniture save for a couple of bean bags. There was a strong smell of incense and other herbs of dubious nature, and clearly the many couples who were strewn about the floor on either side of him had inhaled deeply of them. Most were naked, and describing them as couples was stretching the truth a little. In reality, there was a writhing mass of flesh in a state of euphoria, sexual pleasure heightened by the drugs that were freely available.
Giles became aware that he was not alone in his observations. A well-manicured hand lay on his naked thigh, making its way slowly towards his groin. His naked groin. Dream-Giles jumped up but was quickly pulled down into Ethan's waiting arms. Real Giles arched his back in the chair and upset the side-table, but didn't wake.
“Ripper,” Ethan murmured. “Not shy are you? Not like you to turn down a good shag.”
Giles froze as Ethan bent his head towards him, but there was nowhere to go and he soon found himself responding to familiar lips, both in the dream and in the armchair. Ethan was always exciting and unpredictable, scary even. It took courage to deny Ethan whatever he wanted – and courage didn't appear to be part of Giles' dream arsenal.
He capitulated to the sensuous sweep of Ethan's tongue, the moans that surrounded him and spoke of shared satisfaction. As they kissed he felt Ethan's hands wander possessively over his bare flesh, sharp nails scoring a tattoo of ownership, pinches of pleasure leaving livid welts that had him drawing in his breath.
Giles had thought this was of the past, this feeling of being completely laid open with no shadows. Only Ethan had ever known him as he really was, and only Ethan had left him devastated and broken when he walked away.
In the chair, tears slid silently down Giles' cheeks as emotions swamped him. He croaked Ethan's name on the out-breath, curling in on himself for protection.
Back in the dream and the rancid apartment, Giles had no such handicap, fully giving himself over to the languid attentions of Ethan's talented tongue and begging for more pain. That was the thing with Ethan; everything good had a balancing bad. Strange, given his love of chaos, but it only added to his charm.
Then they were alone, and in a silken bed. The air was cool, soft puffs of breath visible in the candlelight as they grunted against each other. Giles remembered this moment, moaned softly in his armchair. It had been their last.
He hadn't known that at the time. At the time, he'd believed they were forever. Had given up everything to be with him. The Watcher's Council were still sending round their henchmen to gather him back into the fold, presumably to do something to his memory to prevent him from spilling their secrets, as they surely weren't bothered about his wellbeing. His father and mother were no longer accepting his calls, and the two letters he'd sent to explain why he'd quit the Council were returned marked refused.
But he had Ethan, and that was all he wanted and needed.
Later, Giles had laid his head on Ethan's chest, listening to his heartbeat, steady and strong, as it lulled him to sleep. When he awoke the next morning, he was alone and he hadn't seen Ethan since.
Until today.
In his dream, Giles opened his eyes to experience again the wrenching loss of his empty bed. In his apartment, he jerked awake, shivering in the cool night air. His lap was wet, and he chose to believe that he'd spilled his drink while he slept. Contemplating otherwise would be too much for him to bear. Any feelings he'd had for Ethan had been hidden deep away inside him for years, because living with them was like living with an open wound.
Tomorrow he would have to try to heal again, full in the knowledge that he never would.
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Date: 2009-12-13 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-13 05:21 pm (UTC)