tamingthemuse | Prompt 205 - Aboulia - Cut Hair - Vampire Academy

Title: Cut Hair
Prompt: Aboulia
Fancom: Vampire Academy
Rating: Teen
Warnings: Spoilers from Vampire Academy to Spirit Bound. Angst.
Summary: After Dimitri has left, Rose isn't verymotivated.

Rose stood, covertly watching the surrounding area, as she and Lissa both waited to get into class. Psychology was actually something that interested them both, but Rose was unable to pay attention in class due to her guardian responsibilities. Besides, passing for a class she wouldn't need wasn't really worth her best friend's violent death.

It was surprising that after the turmoil of the last six months that Rose and Lissa were actually on the enormous grounds of Leigh University. After returning from Russia, Rose never really expected to be actually guarding anyone. Past illegal prison breaks (that no-one knew about), wild weekends in Vegas (cover for the afore mentioned prison break), the resurrection of a Strigoi (who still refused to see her) and just barely being acquitted for the murder of Queen Tatiana, Rose's chances of actually guarding any Moroi, especially Lissa, had been slim. Thankfully, she had friends in high places from her ranting about the age decree, friends who didn't want to see her suffer for false accusations levelled at her or standing up against an idiotic and unfair law.

Though, in light of what she had learnt recently from an interesting (a.k.a. dead) source, the age decree wasn't actually that idiotic. It was the lesser of two evils.

What really struck Rose as wrong was that, though she wanted it so badly, life shouldn't be normal. She and Lissa should be turning up every stone possible to find her best friend's half-sibling and allow Lissa to gain her spot on the council, and, hopefully change things for the better.

The reason they weren't again running from the authorities on another daring quest, was because Rose simply didn't have the motivation to do so. Rose didn't feel motivated to do anything any longer. She would train, watch and guard Lissa, that was her duty, but she was no longer inspired to do so by a need to do good. When not on duty, she sat in front of the TV in their small apartment and gazed at the screen without watching what was on. If she feigned interest, Lissa would leave her alone.

Both of them knew where this aboulia had come from. Neither would discuss it, simply because discussing it did no good. The reason for Rose's depression was currently in Russia, getting reacquainted with his family, and was not likely to return.

"Love fades. Mine has."

The words wound themselves around her every though, beating at her brain. Everything she saw or heard was a reminder of what she had lost. Rose was the perfect guardian, willing to die for her Moroi.

Willing to die.

She even cut her hair.

When Dimitri first stepped off the plane, returning from Russia after six months, he hadn't expected a welcoming party. He hadn't expected anyone at all, but his saviour, Princess Vasilissa Dragomir was waiting as he exited the airport terminal. She was not alone, four guardians accompanied her. Two were male, two were female. He was startled that he hadn't recognised instantly who one of her guardians was, Rose.

He had to admit, she had changed. She stood just as tall, looked just as healthy, but the change wasn't that obvious. She no longer had that fire in her eyes or the wicked smile that promised a sarcastic comeback to any remark. Most startling of all, her once long, silky hair was cut short enough to show off her molnija marks. Apparently she had slain more Strigoi since he had left.

His attention was ripped from his analysis of Rose's new appearance by the Princess who came to greet him. As they talked, they walked outside into the daylight, then slid into a limo with tinted windows that had apparently been waiting for them. During this time, it did not escape his notice that while Rose had been watching for Strigoi, Lissa had been watching her. He also noticed that she had barely nodded to him in greeting. This is exactly what you wanted. You don't deserve her, not after what you've done. You can't be a part of her life. It's good she's moved on. However, those thoughts didn't stop him from feeling a deep sense of loss that she was so near, but so distant. He also couldn't help noticing that she didn't looked like she'd moved on, more like she'd retreated into herself.

When they reached the royal court, Rose signed in at guardian headquarters, checked who would be watching Lissa, and the left with a "See you tonight" to Lissa and a nod to the other guardians.

Now that Rose was no longer in their presence, Dimitri was free to act like he cared for her. If she knew, she would try to get him back. "Is something wrong with Rose?" he questioned Lissa.

"Yes." Her reply was simple and concise, with no description of what was wrong. After Dimitri encouraged her to elaborate she gave a more thorough answer. "Well, You know I've been taking psychology at Leigh? I think she has a condition called aboulia. It's a motivational disorder that can sometimes be associated with stressful life events."

"Stressful life events?"

It was then that Lissa gave me a look that only teenage girls seemed to master. The type of look that said 'Did you just spend five years in a hole?' Her answer was also something to that effect:"She has been subjected to Spirit's harmful side-effects, accused of committing regicide," then lowering her voice she continued "helped her worst enemy escape from prison, and let's not forget had the guy she loved turned into a Strigoi, kidnap her, try to kill her and then, after he reverted to a Dhampir, dump her, all within the space of 2 years."

Until now I had not considered that I was the reason she had looked so defeated. After six months to think about how my actions as a Strigoi had seemed to me, I was able to look at it from Rose's point of veiw.

"Oh!"

"Oh?" repeated Lissa with another look, that said 'you're just figuring this out now!?'

"I have to go see Rose" I said, already walking in the direction she had left.

"Good idea" said Lissa, with the hope that they could patch it up, for both their sakes.