![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
defy-n-gravity.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
tamingthemuseTitle: Nobody Knows It
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Prompt: 214: Splice
Warnings: Post 5x18 - The Fight
Disclaimer:I have no claim on Criminal Minds or any of it's characters. I mean no harm, I'm only having fun.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes everything isn't fine.
She glanced at him over their desks to ask if he wanted her to come over that night. Not with words, of course. They were so used to it and so on cue with one another, that looks were all they needed. Except he didn't meet her eyes. He heaved his bag over his shoulder then turned to walk out the door.
Emily wasn't sure what was going on, but it wasn't the time to ask. He got quiet at times and she assumed he just had a lot on his mind. She said goodnight to everyone and headed out herself. She hadn't been home in a few days so she went home to shower and change. She had tried calling Derek, but he wasn't picking up her calls. She was really worried then. Once fresh and dressed she headed across the city to Derek's apartment. She knocked and immediately heard Clooney barking. A slight smirk at that as she waited. Prentiss might normally use the key he'd made for her, but given his mood she didn't want to intrude.
When the door finally swung open Derek stood before her, leaning against the open door. "I'm tired tonight," he said quietly.
He had also started drinking. She could tell that much. "You couldn't tell me that before?" At the sound of her voice Clooney pushed his way past Derek to greet Emily. She knelt down to pet him and Derek waited. Emily glanced up. "Can't even invite me in?"
"Yeah...sure.." He stepped back to allow her to pass. She did so, watching him with a confused face, and pushing the door shut behind her. She waited for him to say something but he didn't.
"What's going on, Derek?"
He picked up his beer and took a long sip of it. "Nice people we worked with, huh?"
She raised a brow and stared at him. "Yeah. Sure." He nodded with a slight frown on his face. Emily rolled her eyes. "Okay, you know what? If you want to say something say it."
"I don't like the way you flirted with Rawson," he said simply. As if it were a simple matter.
"What?" She mouthed wordlessly for a moment before sounds came out. "You think you saw more than you did see."
He stepped up close to her and looked down, his expression hard. "He was all about you and you..."
"I what?" She challenged. She stared right back at him. "I ignored him, and I gave him some pretty big hints that it wasn't the least bit worth trying."
"Oh did you? That was your way of being direct?"
"Oh don't treat me like this," she shook her head and stepped off. Standing that close at the moment was only making her want to hit him. She walked away and turned back to him, then she paced a bit. "It was a case. We were working with another team. Yeah, the guy hit on me, so what? How many women do you flirt with on a regular basis?"
"We're not talking about me," he snapped. He was pointing at her with his beer bottle in his hand.
Emily's hands brushed over her face and through her hair. "Okay. First, I'm not arguing with you when you're drinking." She waited for him to hold his ground for a moment or two, before setting the bottle down. "What's this about? It's not about Rawson."
"Don't tell me what this is or isn't about."
She looked down at her feet so that she could count out measured breaths. She was hurt by whatever it was he needed to argue about, and she was angry that he was picking a fight. Things had always been easy and good. She preferred that. "Don't bullshit me," she said softly. She couldn't meet his eyes anymore. "Just tell me what you're thinking."
Derek watched her for a long time. He could tell that he was hurting her, and he hated himself for that, but he was angry too. He knew that she had no interest in Rawson, but it had made him insanely jealous and that let everything else surface. He ached as he watched her. She was doing anything she could to not look at him, and to put space between them. She had been hard to get close to like that in the beginning. Reserved. He remembered all the nights she wouldn't let him hold her. Now she was closing herself off again. She was closing up to keep herself from the pain, and he was the one hurting her.
He loved her. He really did love her. She was the girl that he never thought of to be his, and then she was, and he had never been happier. And that scared him. Seeing another man interested in Emily made him realize that they would never be out in the open. She would never be able to brush guys off around the team. She was apparently already having a hard time with JJ wanting to set her up. He would never ask her to give up her job so that they could be together, and he wasn't even sure the relationship was worth any of that to her.
"I wouldn't be able to choose between you and the job," he finally said.
She glanced up clearly taken by surprise. "When did I ever ask you to?"
"You didn't, but...how long can we keep doin' this? We're both devoted to the BAU. More that than our personal lives."
"I thought..." her arms wrapped against her chest tightly. "-I thought that's why it worked."
"Yeah, and it does, but...I don't know. Maybe we just gotta quit having fun while we're still friends." He glanced away. He knew it was more than 'having fun', but he couldn't bear to address it any other way.
"Having fun?" Her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it, and that hurt him more than and yelling she could do. "I-" She closed her mouth and shook her head. "Fine." Her arms dropped and she started to walk away. "The fun's over, but don't begin to think that we'll be friends."
"Emily," he tried to catch her arm, but she shook him off.
"No, you get to go back to sleeping around. Have fun with that." She strode across the apartment and opened the door, and Derek could do nothing but watch her go.
"Emily," he tried again. The only response he got was a slammed door. He closed his eyes. That sound was so much worse than anything else. He wanted her to argue with him. He wanted her to yell at him. He wanted her to smack him or shake him. Any of that would have been easier to take than her silence.
***
"Emily! What're you doing here?" Garcia was surprised to see her friend on the other side of the door.
"Is...Kevin here?"
"No, not tonight. What's wrong? Something's wrong."
Prentiss shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. I just...didn't want to be alone."
Penelope frowned and moved aside. "Come in."
"Thanks." Emily stepped inside and stood there a bit awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to do or say, because the last thing she wanted was to rehash everything, whether using Derek's name or not. He had just broken her heart and no one knew it but them.
Garcia pushed her door shut and stepped over to wrap her arms around her friend. "It'll be okay."
She relaxed against her friend a bit and laughed. "You don't even know what 'it' is."
"No, but I know you'll be okay. You're Emily Prentiss. You're kick-ass."
All Emily could do was laugh and let Penelope hug her. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to laugh and not care.
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Prompt: 214: Splice
Warnings: Post 5x18 - The Fight
Disclaimer:I have no claim on Criminal Minds or any of it's characters. I mean no harm, I'm only having fun.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes everything isn't fine.
She glanced at him over their desks to ask if he wanted her to come over that night. Not with words, of course. They were so used to it and so on cue with one another, that looks were all they needed. Except he didn't meet her eyes. He heaved his bag over his shoulder then turned to walk out the door.
Emily wasn't sure what was going on, but it wasn't the time to ask. He got quiet at times and she assumed he just had a lot on his mind. She said goodnight to everyone and headed out herself. She hadn't been home in a few days so she went home to shower and change. She had tried calling Derek, but he wasn't picking up her calls. She was really worried then. Once fresh and dressed she headed across the city to Derek's apartment. She knocked and immediately heard Clooney barking. A slight smirk at that as she waited. Prentiss might normally use the key he'd made for her, but given his mood she didn't want to intrude.
When the door finally swung open Derek stood before her, leaning against the open door. "I'm tired tonight," he said quietly.
He had also started drinking. She could tell that much. "You couldn't tell me that before?" At the sound of her voice Clooney pushed his way past Derek to greet Emily. She knelt down to pet him and Derek waited. Emily glanced up. "Can't even invite me in?"
"Yeah...sure.." He stepped back to allow her to pass. She did so, watching him with a confused face, and pushing the door shut behind her. She waited for him to say something but he didn't.
"What's going on, Derek?"
He picked up his beer and took a long sip of it. "Nice people we worked with, huh?"
She raised a brow and stared at him. "Yeah. Sure." He nodded with a slight frown on his face. Emily rolled her eyes. "Okay, you know what? If you want to say something say it."
"I don't like the way you flirted with Rawson," he said simply. As if it were a simple matter.
"What?" She mouthed wordlessly for a moment before sounds came out. "You think you saw more than you did see."
He stepped up close to her and looked down, his expression hard. "He was all about you and you..."
"I what?" She challenged. She stared right back at him. "I ignored him, and I gave him some pretty big hints that it wasn't the least bit worth trying."
"Oh did you? That was your way of being direct?"
"Oh don't treat me like this," she shook her head and stepped off. Standing that close at the moment was only making her want to hit him. She walked away and turned back to him, then she paced a bit. "It was a case. We were working with another team. Yeah, the guy hit on me, so what? How many women do you flirt with on a regular basis?"
"We're not talking about me," he snapped. He was pointing at her with his beer bottle in his hand.
Emily's hands brushed over her face and through her hair. "Okay. First, I'm not arguing with you when you're drinking." She waited for him to hold his ground for a moment or two, before setting the bottle down. "What's this about? It's not about Rawson."
"Don't tell me what this is or isn't about."
She looked down at her feet so that she could count out measured breaths. She was hurt by whatever it was he needed to argue about, and she was angry that he was picking a fight. Things had always been easy and good. She preferred that. "Don't bullshit me," she said softly. She couldn't meet his eyes anymore. "Just tell me what you're thinking."
Derek watched her for a long time. He could tell that he was hurting her, and he hated himself for that, but he was angry too. He knew that she had no interest in Rawson, but it had made him insanely jealous and that let everything else surface. He ached as he watched her. She was doing anything she could to not look at him, and to put space between them. She had been hard to get close to like that in the beginning. Reserved. He remembered all the nights she wouldn't let him hold her. Now she was closing herself off again. She was closing up to keep herself from the pain, and he was the one hurting her.
He loved her. He really did love her. She was the girl that he never thought of to be his, and then she was, and he had never been happier. And that scared him. Seeing another man interested in Emily made him realize that they would never be out in the open. She would never be able to brush guys off around the team. She was apparently already having a hard time with JJ wanting to set her up. He would never ask her to give up her job so that they could be together, and he wasn't even sure the relationship was worth any of that to her.
"I wouldn't be able to choose between you and the job," he finally said.
She glanced up clearly taken by surprise. "When did I ever ask you to?"
"You didn't, but...how long can we keep doin' this? We're both devoted to the BAU. More that than our personal lives."
"I thought..." her arms wrapped against her chest tightly. "-I thought that's why it worked."
"Yeah, and it does, but...I don't know. Maybe we just gotta quit having fun while we're still friends." He glanced away. He knew it was more than 'having fun', but he couldn't bear to address it any other way.
"Having fun?" Her voice was softer than he'd ever heard it, and that hurt him more than and yelling she could do. "I-" She closed her mouth and shook her head. "Fine." Her arms dropped and she started to walk away. "The fun's over, but don't begin to think that we'll be friends."
"Emily," he tried to catch her arm, but she shook him off.
"No, you get to go back to sleeping around. Have fun with that." She strode across the apartment and opened the door, and Derek could do nothing but watch her go.
"Emily," he tried again. The only response he got was a slammed door. He closed his eyes. That sound was so much worse than anything else. He wanted her to argue with him. He wanted her to yell at him. He wanted her to smack him or shake him. Any of that would have been easier to take than her silence.
"Emily! What're you doing here?" Garcia was surprised to see her friend on the other side of the door.
"Is...Kevin here?"
"No, not tonight. What's wrong? Something's wrong."
Prentiss shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. I just...didn't want to be alone."
Penelope frowned and moved aside. "Come in."
"Thanks." Emily stepped inside and stood there a bit awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to do or say, because the last thing she wanted was to rehash everything, whether using Derek's name or not. He had just broken her heart and no one knew it but them.
Garcia pushed her door shut and stepped over to wrap her arms around her friend. "It'll be okay."
She relaxed against her friend a bit and laughed. "You don't even know what 'it' is."
"No, but I know you'll be okay. You're Emily Prentiss. You're kick-ass."
All Emily could do was laugh and let Penelope hug her. She didn't want to cry. She wanted to laugh and not care.
