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tamingthemuseTitle: Bastard boy
Fandom: Original (based on the Arthurian Legends)
Prompt: #268 - Bequest
Warnings: Reincarnation theme
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian Legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Mordred thinks of the past and the legacy he never had.
As a bastard boy I knew I wouldn't have any legacy. My mother didn't matter. She was Queen Morgause of Orkney but I knew it didn't count for my legacy. Of course I very early on learned that I would gain her knowledge, power and hatred of you but I also knew that I would have to build my own place in the world. I had no father, no name, no lands waiting for me. I was a bastard and as such I was as good as a peasant boy. In truth I was even less than that because a peasant boy would inherit the home of his father but I wouldn't inherit anything to help me through this world. So when I first learned you were my father and that a kingdom was mine, that lands, gold, servants, and a royal castle were all mine by right I felt angry and mad at you. My mother had taught me well, she had taught me to hate you but in spite of her teachings I couldn't really do it. You were King Arthur and you had vinquished so many, you had build so much, and created a peaceful land for all to live in. I couldn't really bring myself to hate you because you seemed to be a good man, a lovable man, a flawless man. I couldn't see anything to hate in you until I learned you were my father and the full extent of her rage and anger towards you grew in me, building over my own anger, creating an armor of hatred so strong I forgot how to love. You owed me everything but you wouldn't recognize me. You even rejected me and tried to have me killed as if I was a disease, something bad to be eradicated by amputation. But then I was only a mere child, a baby barely a few weeks old. I had done nothing to you besides being born and that wasn't my fault. I didn't plan the treachery my mother did on you. You could have rescued me but you preferred to listen to an old fool and have me executed. But you failed. And I grew to hate you.
When I first arrived at Camelot I was full of that hate, ready to launch it at you and destroy you but when I saw your face for the very first time I felt something inside me melt. My armor didn't break though. It was too strong, too well-built with hatred and passion fueled by my mother's words. It couldn't break at the sight of you. But I did feel something stir in me, a longing I had forgotten with time. A longing for a father and for love to enter my life. In that first sight of you, I wanted you to love me and I knew that if you had only smiled at me and embraced me then, I could have healed with time, your help, and your love. But you didn't smile or embrace me, instead you lowered your gaze in shame and greeted me as if I was a stranger to you. You welcomed me in your home because you had no choice but you didn't take notice of me and pretended I didn't exist, and this was all I got from you: ignorance. You pretended I wasn't really there and that you didn't owe me anything. And I ended up justifying all my actions though that. You weren't such a great King after all if you could so easily disregard you son, your own flesh and blood. I thought then that you deserved to die by my hand so that I could take what belonged to me by right, what you owed me, my legacy that you refused to give me.
I now know I was wrong that time, and that I rejected you as much as you avoided me. I wish I could tell you that and explain everything to you. I wish I could find you here, in this lifetime, and offer you a second chance if you would be willing to offer me one and give me a new legacy. A legacy of love.
Fandom: Original (based on the Arthurian Legends)
Prompt: #268 - Bequest
Warnings: Reincarnation theme
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian Legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Mordred thinks of the past and the legacy he never had.
As a bastard boy I knew I wouldn't have any legacy. My mother didn't matter. She was Queen Morgause of Orkney but I knew it didn't count for my legacy. Of course I very early on learned that I would gain her knowledge, power and hatred of you but I also knew that I would have to build my own place in the world. I had no father, no name, no lands waiting for me. I was a bastard and as such I was as good as a peasant boy. In truth I was even less than that because a peasant boy would inherit the home of his father but I wouldn't inherit anything to help me through this world. So when I first learned you were my father and that a kingdom was mine, that lands, gold, servants, and a royal castle were all mine by right I felt angry and mad at you. My mother had taught me well, she had taught me to hate you but in spite of her teachings I couldn't really do it. You were King Arthur and you had vinquished so many, you had build so much, and created a peaceful land for all to live in. I couldn't really bring myself to hate you because you seemed to be a good man, a lovable man, a flawless man. I couldn't see anything to hate in you until I learned you were my father and the full extent of her rage and anger towards you grew in me, building over my own anger, creating an armor of hatred so strong I forgot how to love. You owed me everything but you wouldn't recognize me. You even rejected me and tried to have me killed as if I was a disease, something bad to be eradicated by amputation. But then I was only a mere child, a baby barely a few weeks old. I had done nothing to you besides being born and that wasn't my fault. I didn't plan the treachery my mother did on you. You could have rescued me but you preferred to listen to an old fool and have me executed. But you failed. And I grew to hate you.
When I first arrived at Camelot I was full of that hate, ready to launch it at you and destroy you but when I saw your face for the very first time I felt something inside me melt. My armor didn't break though. It was too strong, too well-built with hatred and passion fueled by my mother's words. It couldn't break at the sight of you. But I did feel something stir in me, a longing I had forgotten with time. A longing for a father and for love to enter my life. In that first sight of you, I wanted you to love me and I knew that if you had only smiled at me and embraced me then, I could have healed with time, your help, and your love. But you didn't smile or embrace me, instead you lowered your gaze in shame and greeted me as if I was a stranger to you. You welcomed me in your home because you had no choice but you didn't take notice of me and pretended I didn't exist, and this was all I got from you: ignorance. You pretended I wasn't really there and that you didn't owe me anything. And I ended up justifying all my actions though that. You weren't such a great King after all if you could so easily disregard you son, your own flesh and blood. I thought then that you deserved to die by my hand so that I could take what belonged to me by right, what you owed me, my legacy that you refused to give me.
I now know I was wrong that time, and that I rejected you as much as you avoided me. I wish I could tell you that and explain everything to you. I wish I could find you here, in this lifetime, and offer you a second chance if you would be willing to offer me one and give me a new legacy. A legacy of love.
