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tamingthemuseTitle: Hurt
Fandom: Original
Prompt: #299 - Commit
Warnings: None
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: She could live without him, plenty of people lived without fathers and did just fine, so why couldn't she?
"But dad you promised."
"I know honey but I can't make it this time. We'll do it another time, okay?"
"Yeah okay..."
"Bye now."
"Bye."
Click. The too familiar sound of a conversation ending resonated in her ears. Once again her dad had canceled their plans. She had wanted to ask why he couldn't take her for a week during a two months holiday but the words had remained stuck in her throat. It was always like this and she hated it.
She put down the phone and rubbed her hands against her face as if it could wash away the conversation from her. She could feel the tears coming. She clenched her jaws. No. She would not cry. Not again. He didn't deserve her tears. He didn't even deserve her.
She sat down on a chair nearby and stared into space. Didn't he love her? Has she ever done anything so wrong he couldn't bear to be an entire week around her? Or was it something else entirely? She didn't know. She didn't even want to care. She could live without him, plenty of people lived without fathers and did just fine, so why couldn't she? Why couldn't she be brave and forget him?
"Fuck you."
The words came in a low hard whisper between gritted teeth. She wanted to repeat them over and over. She wanted to scream them but she couldn't. They wouldn't go past her throat. It was as if a barrier was blocking them, a thin layer of love left for him. Love? Did she really love him? She wasn't sure anymore. She wanted to, she really did, but the harder she tried, the harder she fell. Maybe she should stop trying then? But how could you do it? She had been told this man was her father. She had known this man was her father. His name was on her birth certificate. He had lived with her mom and her for her first ten years, but now he was gone and everything was different. It was like she was discovering a new man. She had taken him for granted before. He had been in her home. He had been her dad. He wasn't in her home anymore. Did that mean he was no longer her dad? She closed her eyes. There were too many questions spinning madly in her head. It shouldn't matter where he lived, he should still be her dad, shouldn't he? In a way he was. He was and would always be her biological dad but did that mean he would always act like a dad, feel like a dad? She had been taught that yes but... But she couldn't help the feeling that kept growing in her with each words exchanged, with each visit passed. He was a man she didn't know, had probably never known.
She opened her eyes and went outside. The dog ran to her as he heard the front door open. She smiled meekly. Her dog would always love her, always run to her. She buried her face in his fur.
"You'll always be there for me, won't you?"
The dog barked, slipped away from her embrace and looked at her hopefully, waving his tail madly. She made a show at jumping at him and he started to run away. A chase began, leaving no chance for her doubts to follow. The wind was rushing too hard and fast against her cheeks for her remember her dad in those seconds.
Fandom: Original
Prompt: #299 - Commit
Warnings: None
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: She could live without him, plenty of people lived without fathers and did just fine, so why couldn't she?
"But dad you promised."
"I know honey but I can't make it this time. We'll do it another time, okay?"
"Yeah okay..."
"Bye now."
"Bye."
Click. The too familiar sound of a conversation ending resonated in her ears. Once again her dad had canceled their plans. She had wanted to ask why he couldn't take her for a week during a two months holiday but the words had remained stuck in her throat. It was always like this and she hated it.
She put down the phone and rubbed her hands against her face as if it could wash away the conversation from her. She could feel the tears coming. She clenched her jaws. No. She would not cry. Not again. He didn't deserve her tears. He didn't even deserve her.
She sat down on a chair nearby and stared into space. Didn't he love her? Has she ever done anything so wrong he couldn't bear to be an entire week around her? Or was it something else entirely? She didn't know. She didn't even want to care. She could live without him, plenty of people lived without fathers and did just fine, so why couldn't she? Why couldn't she be brave and forget him?
"Fuck you."
The words came in a low hard whisper between gritted teeth. She wanted to repeat them over and over. She wanted to scream them but she couldn't. They wouldn't go past her throat. It was as if a barrier was blocking them, a thin layer of love left for him. Love? Did she really love him? She wasn't sure anymore. She wanted to, she really did, but the harder she tried, the harder she fell. Maybe she should stop trying then? But how could you do it? She had been told this man was her father. She had known this man was her father. His name was on her birth certificate. He had lived with her mom and her for her first ten years, but now he was gone and everything was different. It was like she was discovering a new man. She had taken him for granted before. He had been in her home. He had been her dad. He wasn't in her home anymore. Did that mean he was no longer her dad? She closed her eyes. There were too many questions spinning madly in her head. It shouldn't matter where he lived, he should still be her dad, shouldn't he? In a way he was. He was and would always be her biological dad but did that mean he would always act like a dad, feel like a dad? She had been taught that yes but... But she couldn't help the feeling that kept growing in her with each words exchanged, with each visit passed. He was a man she didn't know, had probably never known.
She opened her eyes and went outside. The dog ran to her as he heard the front door open. She smiled meekly. Her dog would always love her, always run to her. She buried her face in his fur.
"You'll always be there for me, won't you?"
The dog barked, slipped away from her embrace and looked at her hopefully, waving his tail madly. She made a show at jumping at him and he started to run away. A chase began, leaving no chance for her doubts to follow. The wind was rushing too hard and fast against her cheeks for her remember her dad in those seconds.
