[identity profile] amaranthine-7.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] tamingthemuse
Title: Last night
Fandom: Original (based on the Arthurian Legends)
Prompt: #308 - Hegemony
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian Legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Bedwyr and Arthur talk before the final battle.

"Do you remember the time we ran into the woods and pretended we were spies," asked Bedwyr looking at the stars.

"Which time," replied Arthur absently, his attention still focused on the maps.

"All of them." Bedwyr's voice was getting distant as if drifting off to the stars.

"Probably not."

"I do."

Arthur turned his head to his friend. "Bedwyr," he asked, his tone slow and worried.

The knight keep his gaze fixed to the sky. "I wish things were still that simple."

"I thought you liked your job."

Bedwyr finally looked at Arthur. "I do." He paused. "It's just that I sometimes I wish things were different."

Arthur offered him a slight smile of comfort.

"I don't want to kill those men." He looked in the distance. "Our men."

"I never wanted things to come to this," said Arthur, a slight anger in his voice.

"I didn't mean it against you Arthur. I just wonder if great powers are doomed to die like this always."

"What do you mean?" Arthur was still on edge.

"It seems we always have to fight for the right thing, defend our right to be and make things better." He paused. "Why can't people come in peace and help us?"

Arthur remained silent for a long time. "I don't know."

"I don't either," echoed Bedwyr.

---*---

"What if we're wrong?"

"What," asked Arthur, his voice heavy with grief.

"What if we're wrong? What if the reason we can't have peace is because we are not offering the right solution?"

"I don't know Bedwyr. We did the best we could." He paused for a moment, his body shifting under the covers. "That's all we can ever do."

"I guess."

They remained silent for a long while, listening to the sounds of the night rising around them. It all seemed so quiet compared to the day. It was almost difficult to believe that everything could be so still in a battle camp. Arthur guessed it was only anticipation. Everyone knew it could be the end in the morning but no one dared to mention it directly. It was too scary a thought to be voiced.

"I wasn't perfect. I did a lot of wrong," whispered Arthur breaking the rule of silent. "I was young then but that is no excuse. I could have fixed things, changed them but I didn't."

"You're human," offered Bedwyr.

"Is that excuse enough?"

Bedwyr didn't reply.

"The gods thought I could do it. They trusted me, didn't they?"

Once again Bedwyr remained silent.

"I think they were wrong. I wasn't worthier than any other one of us." He took a long breath. "And I failed them all. I failed all of you."

Arthur could hear Bedwyr shift uncomfortably, but before he could do or say anything he went on. "But that's alright. I'm tired and I don't want to fight anymore. It's not a job I was fit for. It's not a job any human is fit for. The battle is too hard. I'll give it one last try tomorrow. I want to be proven wrong, I want to be shown that there is still hope." He paused. "But if there's not... It'll be the end and it won't be our problem anymore. The gods will be the one to blame. They would have chosen the wrong one."

Arthur closed his eyes. He could feel Bedwyr gaze on him but he forced himself to stay very still. He didn't want his friend to reply, not to that, not now.

Bedwyr stared at his King, his friend, for a long time after he finished talking. He wanted to speak, to comfort him and reassure him but he didn't know how. After a while he shifted on his back, staring at the stars again. Maybe there was no right or wrong, maybe there was only the best you could do. And maybe they had reached that level and there was nothing any of them could do anymore.

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