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tamingthemuseTitle: Father
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 361 - Father
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Arthur tells Mordred the story of the May babies.
I held the glass up to my lips for a long second before letting the burning alcohol down my throat. I hadn't wanted to drink it but now that he was facing me with his piercing green eyes, I didn't know how to speak. I needed the alcohol to let the words out. The unfamiliar sting of the drink hurt my throat and I cough. I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eyes.
"Sat down Mordred." I gestured to the chair next to mine in front of the fire. "Don't stand in the cold."
"Don't you think it's a bit late for you to worry about my well being," he spat in reply.
I look up at him, saying nothing. He was right. I had lost that right many years ago when I tried to kill him. I had been young then, impossibly young and I had been unsure of my actions. Merlin had been my rock and I had followed him blindfolded, unquestioningly. It wasn't an excuse though. I could have said no and he wouldn't have protested. I had been his king.
"It was the fifteenth of May. You had been born for only two weeks, but I didn't know that at the time. I only knew that all the boys in the boat before my eyes were less than a month old. I didn't even know which one you were." I paused then wanting to look at him, wanting him to see how truly sorry I was but I didn't dare turn to face him. So I went on. "There were a dozen babies and I picked done up at random. He had bright green eyes so much like Morgause. I asked Merlin if this was my son. He only said that he didn't know which one was you. If he did, he said, there wouldn't be any need for all of this." I drank some more, trying to find resolve in the liquid. "I wanted that baby to be you, I wanted to rescue that baby and raise it as my heir. But I knew I couldn't. I knew that if I did, Morgause would find another boy and pretend he was you just to destroy me. So I laid the baby back down in the boat and just as I was about to let go, he grabbed my fingers with his little hand. Tears went down my cheeks then. I wanted so badly to save them all, to save you..." My voice trailed off incapable of saying anything more. "...but I couldn't," I managed to finally let out in a whisper torn by unshod tears.
"No." I heard his steady voice say.
I mustered all the courage I had left and tore my eyes away from the fire to look at him. His face was tense, his muscles so tight his face was distorted.
"You just didn't." His lips barely let the words out. He stared at me hard, his eyes accusing and cold, but beneath the attack I could distinguish pain as I had rarely seen before.
"Mordred..." I rose to my feet and reached for him but before I could touch him he jerked back.
"Don't you dare," he hissed and ran away.
I was left alone in my empty room, shivering and unable to move. I had wanted to amend my fault, to erase the past and start again, but I had accomplish none of that. Instead I had lost all right I could have ever claimed as a father to him.
I walked back slowly to the chair, took the bottle and drank directly from it, letting my tears flow unrestricted.
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 361 - Father
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: Arthur tells Mordred the story of the May babies.
I held the glass up to my lips for a long second before letting the burning alcohol down my throat. I hadn't wanted to drink it but now that he was facing me with his piercing green eyes, I didn't know how to speak. I needed the alcohol to let the words out. The unfamiliar sting of the drink hurt my throat and I cough. I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eyes.
"Sat down Mordred." I gestured to the chair next to mine in front of the fire. "Don't stand in the cold."
"Don't you think it's a bit late for you to worry about my well being," he spat in reply.
I look up at him, saying nothing. He was right. I had lost that right many years ago when I tried to kill him. I had been young then, impossibly young and I had been unsure of my actions. Merlin had been my rock and I had followed him blindfolded, unquestioningly. It wasn't an excuse though. I could have said no and he wouldn't have protested. I had been his king.
"It was the fifteenth of May. You had been born for only two weeks, but I didn't know that at the time. I only knew that all the boys in the boat before my eyes were less than a month old. I didn't even know which one you were." I paused then wanting to look at him, wanting him to see how truly sorry I was but I didn't dare turn to face him. So I went on. "There were a dozen babies and I picked done up at random. He had bright green eyes so much like Morgause. I asked Merlin if this was my son. He only said that he didn't know which one was you. If he did, he said, there wouldn't be any need for all of this." I drank some more, trying to find resolve in the liquid. "I wanted that baby to be you, I wanted to rescue that baby and raise it as my heir. But I knew I couldn't. I knew that if I did, Morgause would find another boy and pretend he was you just to destroy me. So I laid the baby back down in the boat and just as I was about to let go, he grabbed my fingers with his little hand. Tears went down my cheeks then. I wanted so badly to save them all, to save you..." My voice trailed off incapable of saying anything more. "...but I couldn't," I managed to finally let out in a whisper torn by unshod tears.
"No." I heard his steady voice say.
I mustered all the courage I had left and tore my eyes away from the fire to look at him. His face was tense, his muscles so tight his face was distorted.
"You just didn't." His lips barely let the words out. He stared at me hard, his eyes accusing and cold, but beneath the attack I could distinguish pain as I had rarely seen before.
"Mordred..." I rose to my feet and reached for him but before I could touch him he jerked back.
"Don't you dare," he hissed and ran away.
I was left alone in my empty room, shivering and unable to move. I had wanted to amend my fault, to erase the past and start again, but I had accomplish none of that. Instead I had lost all right I could have ever claimed as a father to him.
I walked back slowly to the chair, took the bottle and drank directly from it, letting my tears flow unrestricted.
