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tamingthemuseTitle: Free
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 371 - Gilded cage
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: She could not change the past and in all likelihood she would never reach heaven but in this instant it didn't matter. She felt free from any clutches.
As she sat at the dinner table of the convent, silently eating her meal, she felt free, really free for the first time in her life. Her world had collapsed, she had brought it to its final destruction and there was nothing she could do to change that. She would forever feel guilty about it, she would forever be a criminal. She knew that. She could not change the past and in all likelihood she would never reach heaven but in this instant it didn't matter. She felt free from any clutches.
All of her life she had felt trapped.
As a little girl, her parents and nurses, were constantly behind her, reminding her she was a princess and needed to behave like a princess, needed to learn all things a princess needed to know. But she had never wanted to be a princess. She had wanted to go out in adventures and become a knight. She had wanted to learn to fight and defeat evil but she had never been allowed to.
When Arthur had come in her life she had thought things might change. He was a man that was making dream come true. A young man that was governing the whole of Britain and was bringing peace to the kingdom. He was accomplishing miracles. She believed in him, she loved him for letting people born out of nobility serve by his side. With him everything was possible.
And to her utter dismay he had fallen in love with her. She had then thought her world would change for the better and she would finally be free. She had been wrong. He did let her lean how to fight and handle weapons. He did let her have access to his - Merlin - library where she could read about adventures. But he didn't set her free. He trapped her within a castle. She had dreamed of going to war with him, to accompany him during his campaign but he had never let her out of the castle, out of the hard cold stone walls of his palace.
So when Lancelot had come and swept her away she had fallen for him. He had offered her an escape she had never known before. He would sneak her out of the castle to show her the splendors of their surroundings. He would come to her bedchamber and turn her day into an adventure. They had to sneak, to disguise themselves and be make plans. They weren't exactly plans of war or great adventures, but they were enough. But they - she - let the thrill carry them away and the kingdom fell because of it. She destroyed it.
She had retreated to this convent, leaving Camelot behind, leaving Lancelot behind. She had realised her fault and she couldn't forgive herself. She had hoped that maybe God could if she devoted herself to him, if she spent her time praying and making amends for her past mistakes. And in this way, for the first time in her life she was free. Coming to this convent had been her decision. Nobody was holding her back, nobody was even expecting anything out of her. She could simply be a nun, simply be Guinevere and live the rest of her day in her chosen way of life. She was free.
Fandom: Arthurian legends
Prompt: Prompt 371 - Gilded cage
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The Arthurian legends are in the public domain. I make no reference to any copyrighted work. So all is mine.
Beta: None, so any mistakes you see are mine.
Summary: She could not change the past and in all likelihood she would never reach heaven but in this instant it didn't matter. She felt free from any clutches.
As she sat at the dinner table of the convent, silently eating her meal, she felt free, really free for the first time in her life. Her world had collapsed, she had brought it to its final destruction and there was nothing she could do to change that. She would forever feel guilty about it, she would forever be a criminal. She knew that. She could not change the past and in all likelihood she would never reach heaven but in this instant it didn't matter. She felt free from any clutches.
All of her life she had felt trapped.
As a little girl, her parents and nurses, were constantly behind her, reminding her she was a princess and needed to behave like a princess, needed to learn all things a princess needed to know. But she had never wanted to be a princess. She had wanted to go out in adventures and become a knight. She had wanted to learn to fight and defeat evil but she had never been allowed to.
When Arthur had come in her life she had thought things might change. He was a man that was making dream come true. A young man that was governing the whole of Britain and was bringing peace to the kingdom. He was accomplishing miracles. She believed in him, she loved him for letting people born out of nobility serve by his side. With him everything was possible.
And to her utter dismay he had fallen in love with her. She had then thought her world would change for the better and she would finally be free. She had been wrong. He did let her lean how to fight and handle weapons. He did let her have access to his - Merlin - library where she could read about adventures. But he didn't set her free. He trapped her within a castle. She had dreamed of going to war with him, to accompany him during his campaign but he had never let her out of the castle, out of the hard cold stone walls of his palace.
So when Lancelot had come and swept her away she had fallen for him. He had offered her an escape she had never known before. He would sneak her out of the castle to show her the splendors of their surroundings. He would come to her bedchamber and turn her day into an adventure. They had to sneak, to disguise themselves and be make plans. They weren't exactly plans of war or great adventures, but they were enough. But they - she - let the thrill carry them away and the kingdom fell because of it. She destroyed it.
She had retreated to this convent, leaving Camelot behind, leaving Lancelot behind. She had realised her fault and she couldn't forgive herself. She had hoped that maybe God could if she devoted herself to him, if she spent her time praying and making amends for her past mistakes. And in this way, for the first time in her life she was free. Coming to this convent had been her decision. Nobody was holding her back, nobody was even expecting anything out of her. She could simply be a nun, simply be Guinevere and live the rest of her day in her chosen way of life. She was free.
