Your POV shifts are really good. I don't know the personalities you're writing (i.e., how you're writing them) yes, but you're drawing very clear distinctions between them.
I finally take notice that he’s decked out in the melt in your mouth Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup firesuit This is a great metaphor!
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I finally take notice that he’s decked out in the melt in your mouth Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup firesuit
This is a great metaphor!