Fic: What We Have Here Chapter 3
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tamingthemuseTitle: What We Have Here
Author: Julie
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Prompt: #49 – Aladdin
Warnings: None
Rating: Everyone
Summary: Post-Chosen and Post-NFA, a meeting is held to figure things out.
A/N: I read a take of Joss's on how NFA turned out – Illyria lived, Gunn died, Angel lost an arm and Spike became a real boy. I don't remember where I read it, nor can I find it now. Oh, well. Also deals with the lack of communication between the Sunnydale and LA groups and Xander's been in Africa.
A/N: Not beta-ed again. Concrit greatly appreciated.
Buffy entered the Pig and Whistle, pretty sure she'd find Willow and Xander there. She was still furious with Faith for taking off with Dawn and Dawn for showing up in the first place. With Robin and Giles for becoming the bureaucrats Giles detested. With Angel and Spike. Mostly Spike. How dare he come back from the dead and not tell her. Fight by Angel's side for over a year with no word at all and now he was human.
Not that Buffy was being honest with herself, but if she were, she'd have to admit that some teeny, tiny, miniscule part of her anger was directed at herself. Not for enjoying herself after Sunnydale. She really had earned a break after all. Not even for her little fling with the Immortal. But maybe, just maybe, if she had paid a little more attention to the world outside of Buffy, then she wouldn't have been blindsided by the whole thing. Okay, sure, she'd known that Angel had gone to work for some evil law firm, which made less than no sense, and she'd heard about Cordelia. It wasn't that she hadn't cared. She did, but it was kinda like hearing about some movie or TV star dying. She knew it was a sad thing, but it hadn't really meant anything to her personally. And that wasn't entirely right either.
Green eyes scanned the crowded pub for her friends without any luck. If they weren't here, she was at a loss for where to look next. Realizing they might have found a table in the back, she slowly made her way back there, not really believing she'd find them at all.
So she was shocked speechless when she finally caught sight of not just Willow and Xander, but Faith, Dawn, Angel, Spike and Blue Ranger sitting together. Laughing. Laughing so hard they could barely sit up straight, if the way they were leaning all over each other was any indication.
Suddenly desperate not to be seen, Buffy moved back until a column and the crowd blocked the happy sight. A sense of betrayal was making it hard for her to breath. Her mind, her heart, tumbled back in time to when she had first met Faith and everyone, everyone, had wanted to be with Faith and not Buffy; to that horrible night when she'd been kicked out of her own home; to every time she'd come home from school or patrol to find Dawn and Mom curled up on the sofa watching Disney's Aladdin or making cookies in the kitchen; to every joke that Xander and Willow shared that she'd never get because she hadn't been there.
Overwhelmed by the profound lack of oxygen in the room, Buffy pushed her way out of the pub. She was across the street and a block down before fully appreciating how much space and oxygen she had. Placing a hand on a rough brick wall for balance, she leaned over, her other hand on her stomach, feeling nauseous and gulping air to keep from throwing up.
"Slow deep breaths will actually work better."
Buffy froze. Damn vampire super senses.
"And you have so much experience with that," said Buffy as she turned around to face Angel.
"A long time ago." He smiled. "A really long time ago."
She smiled back at him. It faded as the memory of the last few minutes over rode her happiness at seeing him.
"Well, I'm fine now, so you can run on back to your friends. I'm sure the laughter's down a whole five percent without you."
He chuckled. "Please tell me you appreciate the irony in that statement."
Buffy smiled and ducked her head. "I did say only five, didn't I."
"They're your friends too, you know."
Buffy sighed, frustrated. How dare he use logic on her?
"I know that. It's just…. Gah, I'm great with the witty quips and the puns and the speeches, but I don't have the words for what really matters."
"Maybe if you start with defining what really matters, you can find the words."
"Oh, like it's that easy."
"I never said anything about easy. I said it would give you a starting place. And can we not to this in the middle of the street. It doesn't have to be the pub or that pub. I'm sure there has to be a café or something around here."
"Okay. There's a Starbucks not far. I actually kinda prefer it to the pub. More like home, you know."
"Yeah, I know."
They walked in companionable silence to Starbucks and placed their orders. Buffy wanted to have any other conversation but the one that was coming up. Hell, she'd even prefer having a sex talk with Giles to this one. She was pretty sure Angel wasn't going to give her the option though. Besides, what else were they going to talk about? "So, what's it like having only one arm? Gee, sorry we let your friend get killed by an Old One because Giles didn't feel he could trust you because of that whole evil law firm thing and why'd you do that anyway and honestly? Giles really just doesn't trust you period since that whole tortured him for fun thing junior year and my God, I'm channeling Willow babble."
"You're looking really good, Buffy. I guess since you're not 'The Chosen One' anymore, you've got more time to relax," began Angel.
"Not really. Well, it's not as bad as that last year in Sunnydale, but there's still a lot to do. Robin feels that since we have more Slayers, we should be more proactive in confronting evil, so we work in teams. Or we will once we get every body trained. And set up Watchers to monitor things. Gonna have a whole spy network thingie going like in that Matt Damon movie. And thanks. You're looking good too, considering."
"Thanks. I'm not back up to full strength yet. It's really weird. Normal things tire me out like a major battle. Illyria and Spike think once I get used to it, it won't be so bad." He paused, taking a long drink of his coffee. "So have you figured out what matters most?"
Buffy slumped back in her chair. She'd had no hope of avoiding this talk, but they hadn't even talked about the weather or sports yet.
"I only have two things in my life – my family and slaying and I've never been able to make them mesh, but I can't give up slaying, but how do I protect my family? And it's grown and now I'm responsible for all these new Slayers."
"Whoa. Wait a second. Why are you responsible for all the new Slayers? Are you responsible for Faith and her actions?"
"Yes, I am. It was my idea that made them all Slayers. I made that decision for them."
"Okay, first of all, don't tell Faith you're responsible for her. It will not go over well. Second of all, Spike and Faith both told me a vote was taken and it was unanimous for Willow to do the activation spell. So there's a whole group of people who share that responsibility with you. But, Buffy, you have got to understand that all those new Slayers are now responsible for themselves. You can't live anybody else's life for them."
"I'm not trying to."
"And does this really touch on why you ran out of the pub? Why didn't you come join us?"
Buffy sniffled, fighting back tears that came out of nowhere. Angel reached over and held her hand.
"Buffy, it's okay. You can talk to me. What's going on?"
She gave up the fight and the tears slid down her face. "After Mom died and before I did, Giles took me out to the desert and I did this vision quest thingie and 'spoke' with the First Slayer and she told me that death was my gift. Death doesn't belong at the same table as life."
"Oh, Buffy."
"If I had gone over, the laughter would have stopped and Dawn and Faith and Blue Ranger wouldn't have wanted me there and what the hell do I say to Spike? He let me think he was still dead for over a year because he didn't want to see me. He went from stalking me to getting his soul for me to dying to save the world to not wanting to speak to me."
"That's not true. Well, okay, Illyria doesn't know what to make of any human and Dawn isn't happy with you right now, but I don't think she's happy with a lot of people right now. But Spike definitely wanted to see you again, but when he first came back he was incorporeal and couldn't even leave LA. Once he was corporeal again, he was just too scared to try and see you."
"Spike isn't scared of anything."
"Trust me, Buffy, you're scary for a lot of reasons and the last thing Spike wants to do is disappoint you."
"How could he disappoint me? I was grieving for him. I loved…."
Buffy stopped, not wanting to hurt Angel, but tired of lying about how she'd felt about Spike. It wasn't even remotely close to what she had felt for him, but it had been love after a fashion.
"It's okay, Buffy. I'm not thrilled about it, but it's okay. Don't tell him, but he does kinda grow on you."
"Like a Chia pet."
Angel looked confused and a little like she was crazy.
"It's just something that Cordelia said about Xander once."
The memories rolled in and they both got lost for a while.
"So, Buffy, any idea what you want?"
"I want another iced mocha, please."
Author: Julie
Fandom: BtVS/AtS
Prompt: #49 – Aladdin
Warnings: None
Rating: Everyone
Summary: Post-Chosen and Post-NFA, a meeting is held to figure things out.
A/N: I read a take of Joss's on how NFA turned out – Illyria lived, Gunn died, Angel lost an arm and Spike became a real boy. I don't remember where I read it, nor can I find it now. Oh, well. Also deals with the lack of communication between the Sunnydale and LA groups and Xander's been in Africa.
A/N: Not beta-ed again. Concrit greatly appreciated.
Buffy entered the Pig and Whistle, pretty sure she'd find Willow and Xander there. She was still furious with Faith for taking off with Dawn and Dawn for showing up in the first place. With Robin and Giles for becoming the bureaucrats Giles detested. With Angel and Spike. Mostly Spike. How dare he come back from the dead and not tell her. Fight by Angel's side for over a year with no word at all and now he was human.
Not that Buffy was being honest with herself, but if she were, she'd have to admit that some teeny, tiny, miniscule part of her anger was directed at herself. Not for enjoying herself after Sunnydale. She really had earned a break after all. Not even for her little fling with the Immortal. But maybe, just maybe, if she had paid a little more attention to the world outside of Buffy, then she wouldn't have been blindsided by the whole thing. Okay, sure, she'd known that Angel had gone to work for some evil law firm, which made less than no sense, and she'd heard about Cordelia. It wasn't that she hadn't cared. She did, but it was kinda like hearing about some movie or TV star dying. She knew it was a sad thing, but it hadn't really meant anything to her personally. And that wasn't entirely right either.
Green eyes scanned the crowded pub for her friends without any luck. If they weren't here, she was at a loss for where to look next. Realizing they might have found a table in the back, she slowly made her way back there, not really believing she'd find them at all.
So she was shocked speechless when she finally caught sight of not just Willow and Xander, but Faith, Dawn, Angel, Spike and Blue Ranger sitting together. Laughing. Laughing so hard they could barely sit up straight, if the way they were leaning all over each other was any indication.
Suddenly desperate not to be seen, Buffy moved back until a column and the crowd blocked the happy sight. A sense of betrayal was making it hard for her to breath. Her mind, her heart, tumbled back in time to when she had first met Faith and everyone, everyone, had wanted to be with Faith and not Buffy; to that horrible night when she'd been kicked out of her own home; to every time she'd come home from school or patrol to find Dawn and Mom curled up on the sofa watching Disney's Aladdin or making cookies in the kitchen; to every joke that Xander and Willow shared that she'd never get because she hadn't been there.
Overwhelmed by the profound lack of oxygen in the room, Buffy pushed her way out of the pub. She was across the street and a block down before fully appreciating how much space and oxygen she had. Placing a hand on a rough brick wall for balance, she leaned over, her other hand on her stomach, feeling nauseous and gulping air to keep from throwing up.
"Slow deep breaths will actually work better."
Buffy froze. Damn vampire super senses.
"And you have so much experience with that," said Buffy as she turned around to face Angel.
"A long time ago." He smiled. "A really long time ago."
She smiled back at him. It faded as the memory of the last few minutes over rode her happiness at seeing him.
"Well, I'm fine now, so you can run on back to your friends. I'm sure the laughter's down a whole five percent without you."
He chuckled. "Please tell me you appreciate the irony in that statement."
Buffy smiled and ducked her head. "I did say only five, didn't I."
"They're your friends too, you know."
Buffy sighed, frustrated. How dare he use logic on her?
"I know that. It's just…. Gah, I'm great with the witty quips and the puns and the speeches, but I don't have the words for what really matters."
"Maybe if you start with defining what really matters, you can find the words."
"Oh, like it's that easy."
"I never said anything about easy. I said it would give you a starting place. And can we not to this in the middle of the street. It doesn't have to be the pub or that pub. I'm sure there has to be a café or something around here."
"Okay. There's a Starbucks not far. I actually kinda prefer it to the pub. More like home, you know."
"Yeah, I know."
They walked in companionable silence to Starbucks and placed their orders. Buffy wanted to have any other conversation but the one that was coming up. Hell, she'd even prefer having a sex talk with Giles to this one. She was pretty sure Angel wasn't going to give her the option though. Besides, what else were they going to talk about? "So, what's it like having only one arm? Gee, sorry we let your friend get killed by an Old One because Giles didn't feel he could trust you because of that whole evil law firm thing and why'd you do that anyway and honestly? Giles really just doesn't trust you period since that whole tortured him for fun thing junior year and my God, I'm channeling Willow babble."
"You're looking really good, Buffy. I guess since you're not 'The Chosen One' anymore, you've got more time to relax," began Angel.
"Not really. Well, it's not as bad as that last year in Sunnydale, but there's still a lot to do. Robin feels that since we have more Slayers, we should be more proactive in confronting evil, so we work in teams. Or we will once we get every body trained. And set up Watchers to monitor things. Gonna have a whole spy network thingie going like in that Matt Damon movie. And thanks. You're looking good too, considering."
"Thanks. I'm not back up to full strength yet. It's really weird. Normal things tire me out like a major battle. Illyria and Spike think once I get used to it, it won't be so bad." He paused, taking a long drink of his coffee. "So have you figured out what matters most?"
Buffy slumped back in her chair. She'd had no hope of avoiding this talk, but they hadn't even talked about the weather or sports yet.
"I only have two things in my life – my family and slaying and I've never been able to make them mesh, but I can't give up slaying, but how do I protect my family? And it's grown and now I'm responsible for all these new Slayers."
"Whoa. Wait a second. Why are you responsible for all the new Slayers? Are you responsible for Faith and her actions?"
"Yes, I am. It was my idea that made them all Slayers. I made that decision for them."
"Okay, first of all, don't tell Faith you're responsible for her. It will not go over well. Second of all, Spike and Faith both told me a vote was taken and it was unanimous for Willow to do the activation spell. So there's a whole group of people who share that responsibility with you. But, Buffy, you have got to understand that all those new Slayers are now responsible for themselves. You can't live anybody else's life for them."
"I'm not trying to."
"And does this really touch on why you ran out of the pub? Why didn't you come join us?"
Buffy sniffled, fighting back tears that came out of nowhere. Angel reached over and held her hand.
"Buffy, it's okay. You can talk to me. What's going on?"
She gave up the fight and the tears slid down her face. "After Mom died and before I did, Giles took me out to the desert and I did this vision quest thingie and 'spoke' with the First Slayer and she told me that death was my gift. Death doesn't belong at the same table as life."
"Oh, Buffy."
"If I had gone over, the laughter would have stopped and Dawn and Faith and Blue Ranger wouldn't have wanted me there and what the hell do I say to Spike? He let me think he was still dead for over a year because he didn't want to see me. He went from stalking me to getting his soul for me to dying to save the world to not wanting to speak to me."
"That's not true. Well, okay, Illyria doesn't know what to make of any human and Dawn isn't happy with you right now, but I don't think she's happy with a lot of people right now. But Spike definitely wanted to see you again, but when he first came back he was incorporeal and couldn't even leave LA. Once he was corporeal again, he was just too scared to try and see you."
"Spike isn't scared of anything."
"Trust me, Buffy, you're scary for a lot of reasons and the last thing Spike wants to do is disappoint you."
"How could he disappoint me? I was grieving for him. I loved…."
Buffy stopped, not wanting to hurt Angel, but tired of lying about how she'd felt about Spike. It wasn't even remotely close to what she had felt for him, but it had been love after a fashion.
"It's okay, Buffy. I'm not thrilled about it, but it's okay. Don't tell him, but he does kinda grow on you."
"Like a Chia pet."
Angel looked confused and a little like she was crazy.
"It's just something that Cordelia said about Xander once."
The memories rolled in and they both got lost for a while.
"So, Buffy, any idea what you want?"
"I want another iced mocha, please."
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Date: 2007-07-01 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-02 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-02 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-05 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-09 03:57 pm (UTC)He chuckled. "Please tell me you appreciate the irony in that statement."
Loved that. This lighter Angel is so engaging.
Poor Buffy, so many years since she was called and she's still confused. The others seem to have come to terms with the world, but she is still apparently in denial about some things.
Very nice.