[identity profile] katleept.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] tamingthemuse
Title: Past and Future
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Xena, Warrior Princess
Character/Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle (Lena/Gabrielle), Amarice (Anna Rice)
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge: #465: Flashback
Warning(s): Alternate Universe
Word Count: 1,377
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.



All her life, she's gotten glimpses of a world and time that are not her own. When she dreams at night, she is no longer herself. She is a mighty warrior in a strange place, sometimes leading armies, sometimes leading just a select few, sometimes battling Gods, sometimes fighting monsters, and sometimes . . . Sometimes, she loves, and it is always of the same woman. She is a woman whose bravery and passion rivals her own; although not her match in combat, she is her equal in every other way possible.

When she was a child, she used to talk about the dreams she has. Her parents thought she was crazy and had convinced her of that fact and to silence her dreams. She kept her dreams to herself until she worked with a psychic for the first time. She had learned to trust Anna Rice's predictions, because every time the psychic warned her of something, of a strange, new twist the case at hand would take or even some minor thing that would happen in her personal life, Anna had been right.

Lena had at last talked to her about her dreams, after the case had been solved and the serial killer placed firmly behind bars. Anna had been the only one to actually believe her, and she had finally solved the mystery of Lena's strange dreams. They were not merely dreams, she had told her. They were flashbacks to a previous life Lena had lived. She had most likely died tragically, and there was something unsolved about her previous life or perhaps some one she was hunting. Regardless, the dreams would continue to come until whatever was causing them was resolved.

And what dreams they are! She has woken up screaming too many times to count, but not all are horrible. She dreams of friendships that were more like a family's love, which she never really received from her parents. She dreams of saving lives and even, on occasion, the world. For as many terrible nightmares as she has, she also still has good dreams, but her favorites always involve the blonde. She doesn't know who the woman is, or was. She never sees her face, but she's never felt love or passion the way she does in her dreams at her fingertips and underneath her lips.

Most of the time, now, she can put her dreams to the side. She never speaks of them except on the rare occasions she has to work with Anna. Now that she is the Captain of her precinct, those moments are rare indeed. She leads her unit now as she leads her armies in her dreams with a firm hand but also as she leads her friends, with understanding and a certain level of protection. Police always look out for each other, but Lena has a reputation with the government for being especially protective of her men and women, too.

The guys didn't like her when she first took the Captain position. They grumbled amongst themselves, and Lena knew well of their hatred. She worked hard to rise above their ideas of a woman in charge and has since proven herself not only a superior cop but their fair and rightful Captain. Even those few who once swore they would quit rather than let a woman be Captain over them have come to trust and obey her every order.

She protects her city and her people. She has friends, though not like those of whom she dreams at night. When she's not at work, she's volunteering as well, always eager to help those who need her aid. Her life should be full, but still, her dreams leave her restless.

She's tried hard to remember every detail in them. She keeps a daily journal hidden in her mattress and locked with a key she hides behind her badge. She doesn't speak of her dreams, but she does study them. She tries to figure out what they mean, what could have been missing from her life before so that she can find peace at last in this life. She tries especially hard to see the blonde's face. Sometimes, she'll catch a glimpse of her smile or of her beautiful, green eyes, but she never sees her fully. Her voice sometimes haunts her long into her shifts as, in her dreams before, she regales her with stories of her own supposed feats.

What a warrioress she must have been! That little blonde had such confidence in her. She believed she could save anybody, but there are nights when Lena wakes in a cold sweat, wondering if she can save anybody. There are nights when she fears she'll never receive her answers, she'll never see the blonde, she'll never receive love like that which she feels in her dreams with her. There are nights, too, when she drinks strong, black coffee long into the evening, trying her best to stay awake, or when she'll take an extra shift when one of her people are sick not so much as to help them as to help herself stay awake. She's tried burying her dreams and worries in alcohol, too, but none of it works.

Today, she runs a tired hand over her face as she debates calling Anna. Her hand lays on the handle of her phone, but she doesn't pick it up. She knows, if Anna had any further answers for her, she would have already given them to her. Lena stands and is about to leave her office and go out onto patrol herself when her phone rings. It's not the phone on her desk, though, but her special cell, the one whose number only a very few of her people possess. "Hello?"

"Lena, it's Anna. I'm sending a new friend of mine over to see you today. She's a writer, and she needs some information on cop routines for her new book."

Lena shuts her eyes and tries not to groan. The last thing she needs today is a little shrimp of a writer following around underneath her boots and getting in her way. "Lena . . . " She breaks herself off, trying to be patient and understanding. After all, Anna is her dearest friend and most trusted confidante. She doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but still, she doesn't want to have a girly girl underfoot. "You could've at least asked me."

"You would've said no." Lena's blue eyes flash, and she almost growls at the smile she can hear in her friend's voice. "She should be there . . . now."

Even as Anna places emphasis on the word, Lena looks up, and her whole body turns stiff. She drops her cell and doesn't even notice when it barely misses falling into her mug of black coffee. Her eyes are locked with another. She can scarcely breathe as her whole body tingles and a thousand memories flash through her mind.

"Hello," the new woman says, extending her free hand. The other holds tightly to a cluster of notebooks and a pen. "I'm . . . "

"Gabrielle," Lena breathes shakily.

The blonde writer smiles. "Yes. Anna must have already called you?"

Lena can barely nod as she looks into those sweet, green eyes even more beautiful in person than they have been in all her dreams. "Y-Yes."

"Where do we start?"

"Any . . . Anywhere you want to." Lena can not tear her eyes away from the younger woman even as she takes the chair in front of Lena's desk. The Police Captain kicks her own door shut and slowly takes her seat across from her.

The blonde is already babbling on about some story she's writing about a medieval heroine, but all Lena can hear is her voice, not her words. It merges with the voice in her dreams, and finally, she knows. She understands. This woman across from her is the missing piece. Her life is complete now, and sure enough, when Lena shuts her eyes late that night, the dreams of her past do not come again to haunt her. Instead, for the first time in her life, Lena dreams of her future, a bright future loving an even brighter, sweet, and amazing woman, and she smiles.

The End

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