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tamingthemuseTitle: i always fall from your window (to the pitch black streets) [1/2]
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Prompt: 468 - expunge
Warnings: Canon divergent post-season 4.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~2300
Summary: Stiles and Derek grow close the summer after Stiles graduates, while they’re the only two members of the pack still in Beacon Hills. They fall into a routine and things are good - great, even. Until they’re not. Stiles sees everybody around him moving on and figures it’s time for him to move on, too. It’s not the end of the world, but sometimes it kind of feels like it.
Disclaimer: It’s all lies and I own nothing.
-- = --
— “The Kids Aren’t Alright” - Fall Out Boy
A week after graduation, the pack is scattered across the country and beyond. Scott’s spending half the summer with his dad down in Sacramento, Lydia and her mother are in Boston, Liam is up in Washington visiting family, Kira is in New York with her parents where her dad accepted a position at NYU, and Malia followed her mother to Arizona. Stiles and Derek are the only ones left in Beacon Hills (besides Parrish, who’s only pack-adjacent). It’s only natural for them to hang out. At least, Stiles thinks so. It’s not like there’s anybody else around that Stiles wants to spend time with.
So, after his first two weeks working the front desk at the station - the entire department’s glorified secretary - he stops by Derek’s new, 100% ordinary condo on Friday after his shift brandishing his paycheck. “That new burger place just opened downtown,” he says as soon as Derek opens the door. “You eaten yet?”
It happens a few times a week after that. Sometimes they eat at Derek’s, sometimes Derek comes over to the Stilinskis’ when the sheriff is off and Stiles is cooking, but usually they go out, hitting all the restaurants and occasional food truck Beacon Hills has to offer. Saturdays Derek lets Stiles drag him to the movie theater for whatever new summer blockbuster has just been released, followed by a swing through the drive-thru at In-N-Out. And, if Stiles sometimes crashes out with Derek on the couch or in his bed, or Derek spends the night in the barely-wide-enough-for-two-grown-men queen in Stiles’ room, it’s not something they really talk about. It’s only been a little over a year since the nogitsune and Stiles still has nightmares - Derek’s presence helps him sleep a bit easier. Stiles’ figures that the way they wake up all tangled together is just a pack comfort thing. He’s not going to ask about it because, well, Derek cuddles. In what universe would he question that?
He does, of course, mention it offhandedly to Scott during one of their Skype sessions. Scott gets a weird look on his face after Stiles recounts his previous evening with Derek - he cooked dinner at home, they watched a movie, then passed out together in his bed - and bursts into an uncalled for fit of laughter. “Dude,” he says. “Dude. You guys are totally dating.”
Stiles’ response is immediate. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was dating Derek. It’s no different than anything I’d do with you.”
“I don’t spoon you, dude.”
“You have.”
“Once. When you still had that teeny toddler bed.”
“It was a single,” Stiles corrects.
“Whatever. And that was way back in elementary school.” He waves a hand dismissively. “You’re dating Derek.”
“Just because we hang out a lot and share a bed on occasion doesn’t mean we’re dating. I’m pretty sure there would have been a conversation that went something like, ‘Hey, Stiles, I think you’re way sexy and I can’t control my wolfy urges around you,’ along with broody eyebrows and an annoyed scowl. And that didn’t happen.”
“Okay, so you’re stealth dating.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“It’s totally a thing.”
“A fake thing that you just made up.”
Scott rolls his eyes. “Have you decided on a school, yet?” he asks, changing the subject like a good bro.
“I think I’m going to take a year off, actually. My top two schools have me waitlisted anyways, so I figure I might as well save up some cash and see what happens next year.”
“It’ll be weird going to school without you.”
“I’ll only be three hours away. And I can come out on the weekends I’ve got off, so.”
Scott’s quiet for a long moment. “It doesn’t feel right. Splitting the pack up? I don’t like it.”
Stiles knows that feeling. Intimately. “It’s not forever. Just a few years.”
“I know.” He sighs and shakes himself, an easy smile replacing his frown as he launches into a story about yet another father-son bonding trip his dad dragged him on. At least this time it was a baseball game and not camping.
It’s all part of the routine Stiles develops as the summer progresses. Work, dinner, Derek, Sunday Skype session with Scott, rinse, repeat. It’s definite and in Stiles’ control, and it eases his anxiety.
Then everyone returns by the beginning of August and Stiles’ routine changes, becomes unpredictable, and he finds himself at Derek’s more often. They’re together a lot, and Scott’s observation starts to work its way under his skin.
All too soon, things are changing again as his friends start packing for their new adventures. Scott and Kira are headed to Davis and Berkeley, and Lydia’s off to Cal Tech. Liam will still be around, and Stiles promised Scott he’d keep an eye on the beta, but Stiles is barely friends with the kid. He checks up on Liam once a week just to make Scott happy, but he mostly falls back into his old routine.
Then, because that’s just the way Stiles’ life is, things change again in October. Derek seems a bit on edge when Stiles arrives Friday night. “What’ve we got? Rival pack? Pixies? Gnomes? A unicorn?”
Derek rolls his eyes but looks a little less anxious. “No. I, uh. I’ve got a date. Tomorrow night. There’s this woman, Megan, and I see her every morning when I go on my run. We bumped into each other at the coffee shop down the street this afternoon and got to talking and she asked me out to dinner.”
Part of Stiles wants to gloat to Scott about how wrong he was, but a bigger part is disappointed that he wasn’t right. He was doubtful, but hopeful, and now he just feels stupid. He forces a smile because Derek looks like he needs some reassurance. “Good. That’s good. It’s been a while. You should get back on the horse.” He takes a deep breath and tries to keep his heart rate even. “You want me to run a background check on her at work?”
Derek laughs nervously. “No. Not all women are Kate or Jennifer. And it’s just one date.”
Except, it’s not ‘just one date.’ Three Saturdays in a row Derek takes Megan out to dinner. It’s harder for Stiles to watch than he’d thought it would be so he slowly starts pulling back. They don’t do dinner at his house anymore. He stops sleeping over at Derek’s. Eventually, they don’t meet up during the week for more than coffee and a quick bite aside from their Friday night dinners. Then Stiles covers Jamie’s Friday night shift doing dispatch so she can make it to her fourteen year old’s freshman basketball games.
Two weeks after Thanksgiving, he gets a call from the admissions office at The University of Chicago. Some students have dropped out, so there are openings for the winter quarter if Stiles is still interested. When the school year had started, Stiles was content with his life; he had his dad and Derek and a routine. But everyone’s moving on except him. Derek’s got a girlfriend - or, at least, a woman he’s seeing regularly (as he’s never actually called her his girlfriend) - and even his dad is tentatively dating Lydia’s mom. So Stiles accepts the offer and is told to expect a package with enrollment and tuition information in it, as well as documents for setting up his school account to log into the school’s site to register for classes.
His father’s overjoyed that he’s finally made a decision about his future even if he seems apprehensive of the distance. And it all seems to be happening too fast. The winter quarter begins right after New Year’s, so Stiles has a lot of packing and organizing to do on top of making it through Christmas and telling the pack about his change in plans. He knows Scott’s going to be just as upset as his dad that he’s going to be half the country away. But they’re all adults now. And, like he’d told Scott over the summer, it would only be for a few years. Who knows? Maybe Stiles will hate it and drop out and work the reception desk at the station for the rest of his life.
So Stiles cleans his room and starts sorting things into stuff that will go with him to Chicago, stuff that can be donated, stuff that can be thrown away, stuff that’s not even his, and clothes. Most of the clothes will go, plus whatever additional things he buys to survive a Midwest winter. Christmas leaves him with a couple of sweaters, a few pairs of thick socks, and a heavy winter coat.
The pack is having a post-Christmas get-together the day after at Scott’s and it’s the perfect setting for Stiles to tell everybody at once that he’ll be leaving in a couple of days. But he chokes the minute he sees Derek. Because Derek looks so happy to see him because Stiles has practically been avoiding him for weeks. So he chickens out and waits until Derek leaves to tell the rest of the pack. Scott is just as upset as Stiles anticipated, Kira seems bummed, and Lydia is much angrier than Stiles could’ve imagined.
“We don’t even have time to throw you a proper send-off. We should try to do something together tomorrow, the whole pack. Like bowling.”
Stiles doesn’t know what Lydia’s fascination with the sport is, but every time they had a pack bonding night, that’s what she wanted to do. He easily gives in and it pacifies her enough to get her to back off and start up a conversation with Kira about the latest tail she received from her parents for Christmas.
He doesn’t get a chance to breathe, though, because Scott’s cornering him in the kitchen as he refills his mug of Melissa’s homemade hot chocolate. “Have you told Derek yet?”
Stiles shakes his head. “I was going to when I told everyone else tonight, but it didn’t seem right. I think I’ll stop over at his place when I leave here. I’ve got a couple of things to give him, anyway.”
Scott nods. “Are you doing this because of him?”
Stiles knows he can’t lie to Scott. He can control his heartbeat just fine after years of practice, it’s just the best-friends-basically-brothers factor that keeps him honest. “Kind of. But also for me. Everybody’s moving on and I need to move on, too.”
Scott smiles. “That’s good. You should get to be happy.”
“I don’t know how happy I’ll be in Chicago. Did you know it can get to, like, fifty below?”
They talk about random things after that, then nail down plans for the following day. Stiles leaves with a promise to fill Derek in and rising anxiety that makes his heart race a little too fast and his palms sweat.
Derek’s already waiting at the door to his condo when Stiles comes out of the elevator on his floor. He looks good, better than he has since Stiles has known him, and it hurts and relieves him at the same time. “Twice in one day?” Derek snarks with a grin. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Stiles lifts the bag he’s holding. “I found a few books of yours when I was sorting through things.”
“Oh,” Derek nods, smile drooping slightly as he steps away from the door. “Come on in.”
It’s been a while since Stiles has set foot in Derek’s condo, but not much has changed. There’s a new rug under the small dining table, but that’s about it. Stiles takes the books out of the bag and sets them on the counter along with a thin, stapled packet of papers. When Derek raises an eyebrow and takes a step closer to read the top sheet, Stiles explains, “I know you still haven’t found a job and I know you’re not exactly looking and you don’t have to work if you don’t want to, but Dad said you had at least some interest in law enforcement, so.” He gestures at the papers. “Your record’s been expunged. A lot’s happened since he arrested you. I mean, there was what Matt did, then what I did-”
“That wasn’t you,” Derek says immediately. “And it wasn’t your fault.”
“Anyway, paperwork gets misfiled or goes missing and, well, now you’ve got a squeaky clean record.”
“Thanks.”
“Just think about it.”
“I will. It’s really nice of your dad to do this for me.”
“He likes you. And you’re an asset to the department.” Stiles thinks Derek might be blushing, but it could just be the lighting in kitchen. “There’s also- I wanted to- Um, I got off the waitlist at The University of Chicago. I’m leaving Wednesday. Lydia’s insisting on a pack outing, so we’re going bowling tomorrow at one. I know it’s not exactly your scene, so you don’t have to come if you don’t want, but.” Stiles shrugs, unsure what else to say.
“You’re leaving,” Derek says, face suddenly blank. “In four days.”
Stiles looks at the scuffed toes of his battered Converse. “Yeah.”
“How long have you known?”
“About two weeks.”
“You’ve been kind of distant for a while and I thought-” He huffs. “I don’t know what I thought.”
Stiles nods. This isn’t going well at all and it’s only making him feel gutted. “Yeah, so. I’ll see you tomorrow. You know, if you want.” He backs up towards the door. “Bye, Derek.” He’s practically in the hallway when Derek stops him.
“Stiles? I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The door closes and Stiles hesitates for a moment outside of it before shaking himself and leaving.
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Prompt: 468 - expunge
Warnings: Canon divergent post-season 4.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~2300
Summary: Stiles and Derek grow close the summer after Stiles graduates, while they’re the only two members of the pack still in Beacon Hills. They fall into a routine and things are good - great, even. Until they’re not. Stiles sees everybody around him moving on and figures it’s time for him to move on, too. It’s not the end of the world, but sometimes it kind of feels like it.
Disclaimer: It’s all lies and I own nothing.
And in the end
I'd do it all again
I think you're my best friend
Don't you know that the kids aren't all, kids aren't alright
— “The Kids Aren’t Alright” - Fall Out Boy
A week after graduation, the pack is scattered across the country and beyond. Scott’s spending half the summer with his dad down in Sacramento, Lydia and her mother are in Boston, Liam is up in Washington visiting family, Kira is in New York with her parents where her dad accepted a position at NYU, and Malia followed her mother to Arizona. Stiles and Derek are the only ones left in Beacon Hills (besides Parrish, who’s only pack-adjacent). It’s only natural for them to hang out. At least, Stiles thinks so. It’s not like there’s anybody else around that Stiles wants to spend time with.
So, after his first two weeks working the front desk at the station - the entire department’s glorified secretary - he stops by Derek’s new, 100% ordinary condo on Friday after his shift brandishing his paycheck. “That new burger place just opened downtown,” he says as soon as Derek opens the door. “You eaten yet?”
It happens a few times a week after that. Sometimes they eat at Derek’s, sometimes Derek comes over to the Stilinskis’ when the sheriff is off and Stiles is cooking, but usually they go out, hitting all the restaurants and occasional food truck Beacon Hills has to offer. Saturdays Derek lets Stiles drag him to the movie theater for whatever new summer blockbuster has just been released, followed by a swing through the drive-thru at In-N-Out. And, if Stiles sometimes crashes out with Derek on the couch or in his bed, or Derek spends the night in the barely-wide-enough-for-two-grown-men queen in Stiles’ room, it’s not something they really talk about. It’s only been a little over a year since the nogitsune and Stiles still has nightmares - Derek’s presence helps him sleep a bit easier. Stiles’ figures that the way they wake up all tangled together is just a pack comfort thing. He’s not going to ask about it because, well, Derek cuddles. In what universe would he question that?
He does, of course, mention it offhandedly to Scott during one of their Skype sessions. Scott gets a weird look on his face after Stiles recounts his previous evening with Derek - he cooked dinner at home, they watched a movie, then passed out together in his bed - and bursts into an uncalled for fit of laughter. “Dude,” he says. “Dude. You guys are totally dating.”
Stiles’ response is immediate. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was dating Derek. It’s no different than anything I’d do with you.”
“I don’t spoon you, dude.”
“You have.”
“Once. When you still had that teeny toddler bed.”
“It was a single,” Stiles corrects.
“Whatever. And that was way back in elementary school.” He waves a hand dismissively. “You’re dating Derek.”
“Just because we hang out a lot and share a bed on occasion doesn’t mean we’re dating. I’m pretty sure there would have been a conversation that went something like, ‘Hey, Stiles, I think you’re way sexy and I can’t control my wolfy urges around you,’ along with broody eyebrows and an annoyed scowl. And that didn’t happen.”
“Okay, so you’re stealth dating.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing.”
“It’s totally a thing.”
“A fake thing that you just made up.”
Scott rolls his eyes. “Have you decided on a school, yet?” he asks, changing the subject like a good bro.
“I think I’m going to take a year off, actually. My top two schools have me waitlisted anyways, so I figure I might as well save up some cash and see what happens next year.”
“It’ll be weird going to school without you.”
“I’ll only be three hours away. And I can come out on the weekends I’ve got off, so.”
Scott’s quiet for a long moment. “It doesn’t feel right. Splitting the pack up? I don’t like it.”
Stiles knows that feeling. Intimately. “It’s not forever. Just a few years.”
“I know.” He sighs and shakes himself, an easy smile replacing his frown as he launches into a story about yet another father-son bonding trip his dad dragged him on. At least this time it was a baseball game and not camping.
It’s all part of the routine Stiles develops as the summer progresses. Work, dinner, Derek, Sunday Skype session with Scott, rinse, repeat. It’s definite and in Stiles’ control, and it eases his anxiety.
Then everyone returns by the beginning of August and Stiles’ routine changes, becomes unpredictable, and he finds himself at Derek’s more often. They’re together a lot, and Scott’s observation starts to work its way under his skin.
All too soon, things are changing again as his friends start packing for their new adventures. Scott and Kira are headed to Davis and Berkeley, and Lydia’s off to Cal Tech. Liam will still be around, and Stiles promised Scott he’d keep an eye on the beta, but Stiles is barely friends with the kid. He checks up on Liam once a week just to make Scott happy, but he mostly falls back into his old routine.
Then, because that’s just the way Stiles’ life is, things change again in October. Derek seems a bit on edge when Stiles arrives Friday night. “What’ve we got? Rival pack? Pixies? Gnomes? A unicorn?”
Derek rolls his eyes but looks a little less anxious. “No. I, uh. I’ve got a date. Tomorrow night. There’s this woman, Megan, and I see her every morning when I go on my run. We bumped into each other at the coffee shop down the street this afternoon and got to talking and she asked me out to dinner.”
Part of Stiles wants to gloat to Scott about how wrong he was, but a bigger part is disappointed that he wasn’t right. He was doubtful, but hopeful, and now he just feels stupid. He forces a smile because Derek looks like he needs some reassurance. “Good. That’s good. It’s been a while. You should get back on the horse.” He takes a deep breath and tries to keep his heart rate even. “You want me to run a background check on her at work?”
Derek laughs nervously. “No. Not all women are Kate or Jennifer. And it’s just one date.”
Except, it’s not ‘just one date.’ Three Saturdays in a row Derek takes Megan out to dinner. It’s harder for Stiles to watch than he’d thought it would be so he slowly starts pulling back. They don’t do dinner at his house anymore. He stops sleeping over at Derek’s. Eventually, they don’t meet up during the week for more than coffee and a quick bite aside from their Friday night dinners. Then Stiles covers Jamie’s Friday night shift doing dispatch so she can make it to her fourteen year old’s freshman basketball games.
Two weeks after Thanksgiving, he gets a call from the admissions office at The University of Chicago. Some students have dropped out, so there are openings for the winter quarter if Stiles is still interested. When the school year had started, Stiles was content with his life; he had his dad and Derek and a routine. But everyone’s moving on except him. Derek’s got a girlfriend - or, at least, a woman he’s seeing regularly (as he’s never actually called her his girlfriend) - and even his dad is tentatively dating Lydia’s mom. So Stiles accepts the offer and is told to expect a package with enrollment and tuition information in it, as well as documents for setting up his school account to log into the school’s site to register for classes.
His father’s overjoyed that he’s finally made a decision about his future even if he seems apprehensive of the distance. And it all seems to be happening too fast. The winter quarter begins right after New Year’s, so Stiles has a lot of packing and organizing to do on top of making it through Christmas and telling the pack about his change in plans. He knows Scott’s going to be just as upset as his dad that he’s going to be half the country away. But they’re all adults now. And, like he’d told Scott over the summer, it would only be for a few years. Who knows? Maybe Stiles will hate it and drop out and work the reception desk at the station for the rest of his life.
So Stiles cleans his room and starts sorting things into stuff that will go with him to Chicago, stuff that can be donated, stuff that can be thrown away, stuff that’s not even his, and clothes. Most of the clothes will go, plus whatever additional things he buys to survive a Midwest winter. Christmas leaves him with a couple of sweaters, a few pairs of thick socks, and a heavy winter coat.
The pack is having a post-Christmas get-together the day after at Scott’s and it’s the perfect setting for Stiles to tell everybody at once that he’ll be leaving in a couple of days. But he chokes the minute he sees Derek. Because Derek looks so happy to see him because Stiles has practically been avoiding him for weeks. So he chickens out and waits until Derek leaves to tell the rest of the pack. Scott is just as upset as Stiles anticipated, Kira seems bummed, and Lydia is much angrier than Stiles could’ve imagined.
“We don’t even have time to throw you a proper send-off. We should try to do something together tomorrow, the whole pack. Like bowling.”
Stiles doesn’t know what Lydia’s fascination with the sport is, but every time they had a pack bonding night, that’s what she wanted to do. He easily gives in and it pacifies her enough to get her to back off and start up a conversation with Kira about the latest tail she received from her parents for Christmas.
He doesn’t get a chance to breathe, though, because Scott’s cornering him in the kitchen as he refills his mug of Melissa’s homemade hot chocolate. “Have you told Derek yet?”
Stiles shakes his head. “I was going to when I told everyone else tonight, but it didn’t seem right. I think I’ll stop over at his place when I leave here. I’ve got a couple of things to give him, anyway.”
Scott nods. “Are you doing this because of him?”
Stiles knows he can’t lie to Scott. He can control his heartbeat just fine after years of practice, it’s just the best-friends-basically-brothers factor that keeps him honest. “Kind of. But also for me. Everybody’s moving on and I need to move on, too.”
Scott smiles. “That’s good. You should get to be happy.”
“I don’t know how happy I’ll be in Chicago. Did you know it can get to, like, fifty below?”
They talk about random things after that, then nail down plans for the following day. Stiles leaves with a promise to fill Derek in and rising anxiety that makes his heart race a little too fast and his palms sweat.
Derek’s already waiting at the door to his condo when Stiles comes out of the elevator on his floor. He looks good, better than he has since Stiles has known him, and it hurts and relieves him at the same time. “Twice in one day?” Derek snarks with a grin. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Stiles lifts the bag he’s holding. “I found a few books of yours when I was sorting through things.”
“Oh,” Derek nods, smile drooping slightly as he steps away from the door. “Come on in.”
It’s been a while since Stiles has set foot in Derek’s condo, but not much has changed. There’s a new rug under the small dining table, but that’s about it. Stiles takes the books out of the bag and sets them on the counter along with a thin, stapled packet of papers. When Derek raises an eyebrow and takes a step closer to read the top sheet, Stiles explains, “I know you still haven’t found a job and I know you’re not exactly looking and you don’t have to work if you don’t want to, but Dad said you had at least some interest in law enforcement, so.” He gestures at the papers. “Your record’s been expunged. A lot’s happened since he arrested you. I mean, there was what Matt did, then what I did-”
“That wasn’t you,” Derek says immediately. “And it wasn’t your fault.”
“Anyway, paperwork gets misfiled or goes missing and, well, now you’ve got a squeaky clean record.”
“Thanks.”
“Just think about it.”
“I will. It’s really nice of your dad to do this for me.”
“He likes you. And you’re an asset to the department.” Stiles thinks Derek might be blushing, but it could just be the lighting in kitchen. “There’s also- I wanted to- Um, I got off the waitlist at The University of Chicago. I’m leaving Wednesday. Lydia’s insisting on a pack outing, so we’re going bowling tomorrow at one. I know it’s not exactly your scene, so you don’t have to come if you don’t want, but.” Stiles shrugs, unsure what else to say.
“You’re leaving,” Derek says, face suddenly blank. “In four days.”
Stiles looks at the scuffed toes of his battered Converse. “Yeah.”
“How long have you known?”
“About two weeks.”
“You’ve been kind of distant for a while and I thought-” He huffs. “I don’t know what I thought.”
Stiles nods. This isn’t going well at all and it’s only making him feel gutted. “Yeah, so. I’ll see you tomorrow. You know, if you want.” He backs up towards the door. “Bye, Derek.” He’s practically in the hallway when Derek stops him.
“Stiles? I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The door closes and Stiles hesitates for a moment outside of it before shaking himself and leaving.
