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tamingthemuseTitle: Poop heist
Author: naughty_bangles
Rating: PG
Word Count: 563 words
Prompt #473 Feculent
“You are not supposed to know about that”, I told her, eyes on the menu even if I wasn’t really reading it.
“Oh, come on, Mona, I know you better than that.” Her devious smile was almost palpable in her voice.
“I’m not kidding, Jo, you don’t know anything about it. You’re in enough trouble as it is.”
She sighed dramatically. “Alright, then, I know nothing about this.”
We stayed silent for the next minute or so, until a waiter came and took our order. Jo ordered a tall cappuccino with an Italian dessert that probably wasn’t suitable for breakfast, and I took a mint tea. She rolled her eyes at my lack of refinement. I ignored her.
Once the man was off, I crossed my hands on the table. “So, what’s that fabulous plan of yours?”
She smiled. “Ah, yes, of course. No preliminaries for you when it comes to business.”
I didn’t react to her comment. I knew she did it on purpose, trying to rouse me, to fall back in our old ways. I wouldn’t have been against it under other circumstances, but now wasn’t the time to flirt.
Another theatrical sigh escaped her when she realised she wouldn’t get anything from me at the moment. “Really, Mona, do you have to take all of this so seriously? I know Harmony can be creepy, but it’s not a reason to stop having a little bit of fun.”
The waiter put our order on the table. I put sugar in my tea, waiting for Joanna to continue. She bit into her fancy breakfast before coming to her plan.
“Do you remember the stories about the lost golden ring of Gortu?”
I nodded.
“I know where it is.”
I took the time to blow on my cup and to take a sip before responding: “It’s a myth, Jo, you are aware of that, right?”
She smiled triumphantly. “That’s the thing, Mon. It’s not. We had that crazy night, a couple of months ago with Selma, and she talked about it. Not only the ring is not a myth, but it still wears the magical print of something important enough to cause worries to Harmony.”
So far, I was less than impressed by Joanna’s masterplan, and I made sure she could read it on my face.
“Ok, let’s say I buy that dubious story and that the ring would make perfect leverage against Harmony. Where is it and how do you plan to get it?”
“That’s where the story gets less glamorous. According to Selma, Dianne Maynard, Harmony’s great-great-grand-mother, needed the ring hidden, so she gave it to her good friend Yvonne, who happened to be the Murx of the sewer people. They have hidden it in their main lair, and that’s where it is right now.”
I swallowed a sip of tea with great difficulty before speaking up: “You mean your big heist is supposed to happen on Fecula territory?! Jo, they are called the sewer people for a reason. can’t believe you, among all, would suggest to go and crawl in a Fecula lair. I’ve heard they use poop to construct their tunnels. Poop, Joanna. Poop.”
I had tried to keep my voice down, but I had the disagreeable sensation that everyone in the café was looking at me. Talking about poop in a public place will do that to you.
Author: naughty_bangles
Rating: PG
Word Count: 563 words
Prompt #473 Feculent
“You are not supposed to know about that”, I told her, eyes on the menu even if I wasn’t really reading it.
“Oh, come on, Mona, I know you better than that.” Her devious smile was almost palpable in her voice.
“I’m not kidding, Jo, you don’t know anything about it. You’re in enough trouble as it is.”
She sighed dramatically. “Alright, then, I know nothing about this.”
We stayed silent for the next minute or so, until a waiter came and took our order. Jo ordered a tall cappuccino with an Italian dessert that probably wasn’t suitable for breakfast, and I took a mint tea. She rolled her eyes at my lack of refinement. I ignored her.
Once the man was off, I crossed my hands on the table. “So, what’s that fabulous plan of yours?”
She smiled. “Ah, yes, of course. No preliminaries for you when it comes to business.”
I didn’t react to her comment. I knew she did it on purpose, trying to rouse me, to fall back in our old ways. I wouldn’t have been against it under other circumstances, but now wasn’t the time to flirt.
Another theatrical sigh escaped her when she realised she wouldn’t get anything from me at the moment. “Really, Mona, do you have to take all of this so seriously? I know Harmony can be creepy, but it’s not a reason to stop having a little bit of fun.”
The waiter put our order on the table. I put sugar in my tea, waiting for Joanna to continue. She bit into her fancy breakfast before coming to her plan.
“Do you remember the stories about the lost golden ring of Gortu?”
I nodded.
“I know where it is.”
I took the time to blow on my cup and to take a sip before responding: “It’s a myth, Jo, you are aware of that, right?”
She smiled triumphantly. “That’s the thing, Mon. It’s not. We had that crazy night, a couple of months ago with Selma, and she talked about it. Not only the ring is not a myth, but it still wears the magical print of something important enough to cause worries to Harmony.”
So far, I was less than impressed by Joanna’s masterplan, and I made sure she could read it on my face.
“Ok, let’s say I buy that dubious story and that the ring would make perfect leverage against Harmony. Where is it and how do you plan to get it?”
“That’s where the story gets less glamorous. According to Selma, Dianne Maynard, Harmony’s great-great-grand-mother, needed the ring hidden, so she gave it to her good friend Yvonne, who happened to be the Murx of the sewer people. They have hidden it in their main lair, and that’s where it is right now.”
I swallowed a sip of tea with great difficulty before speaking up: “You mean your big heist is supposed to happen on Fecula territory?! Jo, they are called the sewer people for a reason. can’t believe you, among all, would suggest to go and crawl in a Fecula lair. I’ve heard they use poop to construct their tunnels. Poop, Joanna. Poop.”
I had tried to keep my voice down, but I had the disagreeable sensation that everyone in the café was looking at me. Talking about poop in a public place will do that to you.
