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tamingthemuseTitle: every breath you take [epilogue 2/2]
Fandom: CW RPS — J2
Prompt: 506 - yaw
Warnings: AU.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1100
Summary: Jared meets Jensen for lunch, then Jensen invites him over for dinner with his family. Jared learns that moving on doesn’t mean you have to let go completely.
Disclaimer: It’s all lies and I own nothing.
-- = --
Jared feels a bit like a boat adrift at sea getting tossed about on the waves, pitching side to side but somehow managing to stay afloat. Their smalltalk has veered from basic pleasantries (including what Jared’s been up to the past few days of his vacation—which is honestly not a whole lot besides sight-seeing with his mom) to somewhat serious things. Serious like what Jared plans to do when he returns to Baltimore. Honestly, it’s easier to talk about himself and what he’s been doing than it is to ask Jensen about his life.
“Well, you know that Mom and I moved last year.”
“The shoe-box apartment, I remember,” Jensen nods with a smile, creasing a paper napkin into a neat square.
“We’re in a bigger apartment now, in Catonsville, not far from the UMBC campus.” He doesn’t exactly hold his breath waiting for Jensen’s reaction, but he’s definitely not disappointed when Jensen’s smile wavers for half a second before widening into a grin. “That’s great! Are you taking classes?”
Shaking his head, Jared sits up a little straighter. “Not yet. I’ll be auditing classes this fall and, if I can keep up, I can register for the spring semester.”
“You’ll be fine. I mean, I can’t imagine you not doing well. Not after everything you’ve already been through.”
“Thanks. It’s pretty daunting.”
Jensen’s eyes are focused on where he’s still folding the napkin. “Do you know what you want to do, then?”
“Social work, I think. They’ve got a school for it.”
“That’s really great, Jay.” He pauses for a moment, abandoning his napkin to meet Jared’s gaze. “I guess that means that you’re going to be there for a while?”
Jared nods slowly. “I think so, yeah. A couple more years, probably. Between classes and being a medical anomaly…”
Sam arrives at that moment to personally drop off their plates and swings by again with their drinks. She squeezes Jared’s shoulder before leaving. “It’s really great to see you again, JT.”
As he watches her disappear back behind the counter, Jared decides it’s as good a time as any to change the subject again. “What about you? What have you been up to?”
Jensen cuts his burger in half and swipes a fry through the mayo that squeezed out from beneath the burger patty. “Not a whole lot. Danny and I’ve been staying pretty busy with work and the kids. Speaking of, she asked me to invite you for dinner.”
Jared glances at the wedding band on Jensen’s finger and can’t quite suppress the twinge he feels just behind his sternum. He doesn’t think it’s ever not going to hurt a little to think of what they had and lost and could have been, but he’s gotten a lot better at dealing with it. “Uh, yeah. I think that should be fine. I just need to let Mom know.”
“Would tonight be okay, or do you have plans?”
“Let me just…” Jared dig his oversized iPhone 6 Plus out of his hoodie pocket to text his mother. “How are the boys? Joey’s, what? Five?”
“Almost. Another three months. And Jack just turned three.” Jensen wiped his hands off on his creased napkin and get his own phone out. After a couple of quick swipes he turned the phone towards Jared to show him a picture of a toddler with dark blonde hair and big brown eyes, green frosting smeared across his mouth.
“Eats just like his dad.”
Jensen grins, turning the phone to look at the picture of his son. “Yeah, he does.”
It’s a happy kind of hurt, Jared decides, when the ache in his chest flares up again.
-- = --
Dinner that night isn’t anywhere near as painful as Jared had been anticipating—Danny is super nice and really sweet and she’s so in love with Jensen. And their kids are basically the cutest things ever. Jack crawled up into his lap and demanded a story from ‘Uncle’ Jared. Joey (who Jared learned was born Joseph Jared) supplied the book and squished right up against his side.
Danny explained after dessert, as Jensen was getting both boys ready for bed, that Jared had been a very important part of both their lives, and that their kids knew him as such. He’s so touched and so glad that if he can’t be with Jensen that it’s Danny he’s with. As awkward as the whole situation could have been, she made Jared feel welcome and like part of their family. He’s got pictures on his phone of him and the boys, and one of him and Jensen. It’s surreal.
His mother picks him up just after nine, offering Jensen a wave where he stands on his front porch making sure Jared gets in the car okay. “So? How did it go?” she asks once they’re on the way back to Jeff’s.
“It was good. Danny is great. And their kids are amazing. Yeah, it’s kind of hard to see Jen married and with a family, but he deserves it. Sometimes I feel like I’m still stuck in the past, but he’s moved on and I’m really proud of him.”
“That’s really big of you, JT. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Jared sighs and settles back in his seat. “I guess, what it really comes down to is that we really weren’t together very long. It was barely a year. He’s been with Danny for seven.” He shakes his head. “It’s so weird, how much has happened, how much I’ve missed. But we’re still friends, after everything. That hasn’t changed. And his kids call me ‘Uncle Jared.’ They know who I am. And their oldest, Joey, was named after me.”
His mother makes a mom noise beside him and reaches over to grab his hand.
“He never forgot me—”
“Just like you never forgot him.”
While Jared hasn’t shared everything he remembers from his coma, he’s told his mom enough. “No, I never did. I couldn’t.” Because he was so in love with Jensen that he could never imagine his life without him, even if it was all a very elaborate fantasy created by his unconscious brain.
Even now, he can’t imagine his life without Jensen. But that’s okay, because it seems like he won’t ever not be a part of it. For the first time in a long time, Jared finally feels like he’s completely ready to move forward, to move on. With every breath, that hurt in his chest lessens. And, while it feels a lot like letting go, he’s still letting him hold on.
Fandom: CW RPS — J2
Prompt: 506 - yaw
Warnings: AU.
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~1100
Summary: Jared meets Jensen for lunch, then Jensen invites him over for dinner with his family. Jared learns that moving on doesn’t mean you have to let go completely.
Disclaimer: It’s all lies and I own nothing.
Jared feels a bit like a boat adrift at sea getting tossed about on the waves, pitching side to side but somehow managing to stay afloat. Their smalltalk has veered from basic pleasantries (including what Jared’s been up to the past few days of his vacation—which is honestly not a whole lot besides sight-seeing with his mom) to somewhat serious things. Serious like what Jared plans to do when he returns to Baltimore. Honestly, it’s easier to talk about himself and what he’s been doing than it is to ask Jensen about his life.
“Well, you know that Mom and I moved last year.”
“The shoe-box apartment, I remember,” Jensen nods with a smile, creasing a paper napkin into a neat square.
“We’re in a bigger apartment now, in Catonsville, not far from the UMBC campus.” He doesn’t exactly hold his breath waiting for Jensen’s reaction, but he’s definitely not disappointed when Jensen’s smile wavers for half a second before widening into a grin. “That’s great! Are you taking classes?”
Shaking his head, Jared sits up a little straighter. “Not yet. I’ll be auditing classes this fall and, if I can keep up, I can register for the spring semester.”
“You’ll be fine. I mean, I can’t imagine you not doing well. Not after everything you’ve already been through.”
“Thanks. It’s pretty daunting.”
Jensen’s eyes are focused on where he’s still folding the napkin. “Do you know what you want to do, then?”
“Social work, I think. They’ve got a school for it.”
“That’s really great, Jay.” He pauses for a moment, abandoning his napkin to meet Jared’s gaze. “I guess that means that you’re going to be there for a while?”
Jared nods slowly. “I think so, yeah. A couple more years, probably. Between classes and being a medical anomaly…”
Sam arrives at that moment to personally drop off their plates and swings by again with their drinks. She squeezes Jared’s shoulder before leaving. “It’s really great to see you again, JT.”
As he watches her disappear back behind the counter, Jared decides it’s as good a time as any to change the subject again. “What about you? What have you been up to?”
Jensen cuts his burger in half and swipes a fry through the mayo that squeezed out from beneath the burger patty. “Not a whole lot. Danny and I’ve been staying pretty busy with work and the kids. Speaking of, she asked me to invite you for dinner.”
Jared glances at the wedding band on Jensen’s finger and can’t quite suppress the twinge he feels just behind his sternum. He doesn’t think it’s ever not going to hurt a little to think of what they had and lost and could have been, but he’s gotten a lot better at dealing with it. “Uh, yeah. I think that should be fine. I just need to let Mom know.”
“Would tonight be okay, or do you have plans?”
“Let me just…” Jared dig his oversized iPhone 6 Plus out of his hoodie pocket to text his mother. “How are the boys? Joey’s, what? Five?”
“Almost. Another three months. And Jack just turned three.” Jensen wiped his hands off on his creased napkin and get his own phone out. After a couple of quick swipes he turned the phone towards Jared to show him a picture of a toddler with dark blonde hair and big brown eyes, green frosting smeared across his mouth.
“Eats just like his dad.”
Jensen grins, turning the phone to look at the picture of his son. “Yeah, he does.”
It’s a happy kind of hurt, Jared decides, when the ache in his chest flares up again.
Dinner that night isn’t anywhere near as painful as Jared had been anticipating—Danny is super nice and really sweet and she’s so in love with Jensen. And their kids are basically the cutest things ever. Jack crawled up into his lap and demanded a story from ‘Uncle’ Jared. Joey (who Jared learned was born Joseph Jared) supplied the book and squished right up against his side.
Danny explained after dessert, as Jensen was getting both boys ready for bed, that Jared had been a very important part of both their lives, and that their kids knew him as such. He’s so touched and so glad that if he can’t be with Jensen that it’s Danny he’s with. As awkward as the whole situation could have been, she made Jared feel welcome and like part of their family. He’s got pictures on his phone of him and the boys, and one of him and Jensen. It’s surreal.
His mother picks him up just after nine, offering Jensen a wave where he stands on his front porch making sure Jared gets in the car okay. “So? How did it go?” she asks once they’re on the way back to Jeff’s.
“It was good. Danny is great. And their kids are amazing. Yeah, it’s kind of hard to see Jen married and with a family, but he deserves it. Sometimes I feel like I’m still stuck in the past, but he’s moved on and I’m really proud of him.”
“That’s really big of you, JT. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Jared sighs and settles back in his seat. “I guess, what it really comes down to is that we really weren’t together very long. It was barely a year. He’s been with Danny for seven.” He shakes his head. “It’s so weird, how much has happened, how much I’ve missed. But we’re still friends, after everything. That hasn’t changed. And his kids call me ‘Uncle Jared.’ They know who I am. And their oldest, Joey, was named after me.”
His mother makes a mom noise beside him and reaches over to grab his hand.
“He never forgot me—”
“Just like you never forgot him.”
While Jared hasn’t shared everything he remembers from his coma, he’s told his mom enough. “No, I never did. I couldn’t.” Because he was so in love with Jensen that he could never imagine his life without him, even if it was all a very elaborate fantasy created by his unconscious brain.
Even now, he can’t imagine his life without Jensen. But that’s okay, because it seems like he won’t ever not be a part of it. For the first time in a long time, Jared finally feels like he’s completely ready to move forward, to move on. With every breath, that hurt in his chest lessens. And, while it feels a lot like letting go, he’s still letting him hold on.
