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tamingthemuse prompt #59 - Desolate.
Title: Lacerated
Series: The Boy Next Door
Pairing: Spike/Xander, mentions of Ethan/Giles
Rating: Mature/Adults Only
Prompt: #59 - Desolate
Spoilers: None, all human AU
Warnings: Underage, manipulation, dark!fic, daddy!kink, child abuse, overall dirty!bad!wrongness.
Summary: Xander needs some help but Spike decides to help himself to Xander.
Word Count: 1,296
Author's Note: Tissue warning!
And, due to the LJ Boldthrough, I am sporting a new disclaimer for this fic, thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
_sharvie_:
Disclaimer: No childrenz were hurt in teh making of this fanfic! *g*
Previous Parts.
Thanks to_sharvie_ for the lovely banner beneath the cut.
The Boy Next Door: Lacerated
Xander sat on the bed in Spike's room, wondering how his life had changed so much in just a few weeks. It had been a struggle learning to live in this new place, this new life, he never tried to convince myself that it was going to be easy, but now Xander wondered how it all went so wrong.
He'd been so proud of myself, so wishing for Spike to be proud of him as well. Spike had praised him at first, celebrating with Xander the first day he was able to go without the eye patch all evening and adjusting to living with the three other men. They'd had an incredible dinner, complete with gooey lasagna and crispy garlic bread, courtesy of Ethan and Giles, followed by a night of slow, wet kisses and hard, rolling thrusts.
Soon however, Xander began to notice small changes, changes so tiny that they shouldn't have made a difference, but somehow, they did.
First, Spike stopped sitting next to Xander in the library, long fingers teasing the boy under the table while he completed his assignments for the day. Instead, the older boy focused on his own studies, reading and taking notes distractedly. Xander knew he shouldn't be jealous. Spike was in school too and he still needed to get good grades as well. But Xander felt the loss.
Then Xander noticed that the older boy had stopped watching him. It sounded stupid to the younger boy when he stopped to think about it, but it still plagued the back of Xander's mind. The sable haired boy missed the crystal blue eyes trained on his every move.
And soon the sweet endearments were gone. Spike still took to calling him "pet" but Xander missed being called Spike's "luv" more than he cared to admit. The softly whispered word began to haunt the younger boy's dreams.
But then Spike started going out at night, study sessions he called them. Xander would wait up as long as he could for the blond boy to come to his bed, the bed they shared, but sometimes, Spike would come in long after the younger boy had nodded off for the night. He tried not to let the absence bother him, but Xander had become used to the feel of the warm body next to his and the smell of cigarettes and leather surrounding him.
Spike explained how he needed to work on a special project for a class, how he needed to spend time with his classmates and people his own age. Xander had succumbed and agreed. He sent Spike out nearly every night with a smile plastered on his face, waving as his love rode away from him.
All of that Xander could have handled, he could have become accustomed to eventually. He'd given so much to Spike, become so much for Spike, admitted who he was, what he was, deep down inside for the older boy. He'd lost his family, destructive as they were, to live in Spike's father's house just to be close to the blond boy.
But then Spike started talking about Angel.
Angel was Spike's partner for his literature assignment and soon this new boy's name began to seep into every conversation. Xander was tired of hearing how stupid Angel was or how broody Angel was or how bloody annoying he was. Xander didn't want to know that Spike had been out all night with Angel, didn't want to hear how badly Angel sang karaoke when he was drunk or how many girls the two boys had to fight off at the club. He didn't want to think about why they were still going out when he knew the project had been complete for at least a week.
Finally, Xander couldn't take sitting in the silent, still room anymore, thinking about everything he'd had and lost, everything he still wanted. The house was too quiet with Spike out and the four walls where he had learned his favorite lessons suddenly felt more like a coffin than the safe haven he'd known it to be.
Slipping down the stairs, Xander silently walked out into the backyard, leaning against the tree he'd cuddled beneath with Spike many a lazy afternoon. They hadn't cuddled in a very long time.
The night air was cool, whipping the boy's sable curls around his ears and across his forehead. Spike liked it long, but not too long. Xander had continue to let it grow, hoping Spike would notice and demand Xander get it cut instantly, threatening to drag the younger boy to the barber himself if need be.
But Spike never noticed.
The brush of hair and the cool air stroked Xander's left eye and the skin around it rippled with goose pimples. Three days ago, he'd gone all day without wearing the dreaded patch.
Ethan had made him a special dinner and Giles had taken the black fabric, placing it in a frame and hanging it on the wall.
Spike forgot to mention it.
Xander stared at the quiet, dark house across the way, the one that used to be his home, in all honesty was his home.
It wasn't until a warm hand landed on the boy's shoulder that he realized he was shaking.
"Xander," Giles whispered, concern coloring his voice. "You should really come inside. It's too cold out here."
"Not just yet, please," Xander begged. "It's just too quiet in there and I needed a breath of fresh air."
Giles held on for a while, his hand squeezing the trembling shoulder and Xander soaked in the attention and touch.
Silence reigned between them until Xander finally asked, "What am I doing wrong?"
"You're not doing anything wrong, Xander," Giles insisted.
Xander sighed as he realized his worst fear; he hadn't done anything wrong, it was him. He was wrong.
"Thanks, Giles," he sighed. He waited for several long minutes until the librarian squeezed his shoulder one last time before he turned to re-enter the house. Continuing to stare at the dark house across from him, Xander wondered if his father felt as desolate and deserted as the house he was stuck in, if he felt as alone and empty as Xander did at that very moment.
His mother always said he was his father's son.
Several moments later, Xander heard the sound of a car pulling into the drive. Hiding behind the tree he'd been huddled under, Xander strained to see who was there. He didn't recognize the car and the rough idling set the young boy's nerves on edge. He waited and waited for Spike to exit the vehicle, to rush into the house to find him and greet him with a hug and a kiss.
Finally, the passenger side door opened and Spike slipped out, smiling and laughing with the unseen driver. It was a mischievous smile, one that Xander had seen many times trained on him, one that he missed greatly. Then Xander heard Spike's rich baritone echoing through the night air.
"Good night, luv."
Xander started to move out of the shelter of the tree to answer the greeting until he realized that Spike wasn't talking to him.
He was talking to Angel.
Standing frozen, Xander watched Spike enter the house. He waited to see if the blond boy was going to ask where he was, look for him, search him out, but the light in the room they shared turned on before the bathroom light turned on. Soon, Xander heard the shower running. Spike hadn't even noticed he wasn't there.
Slowly, Xander turned away to stop staring at the steamy window and began to walk back toward the house that was as dark and desolate as he felt inside.
Tbc...
tamingthemuse prompt #59 - Desolate.Title: Lacerated
Series: The Boy Next Door
Pairing: Spike/Xander, mentions of Ethan/Giles
Rating: Mature/Adults Only
Prompt: #59 - Desolate
Spoilers: None, all human AU
Warnings: Underage, manipulation, dark!fic, daddy!kink, child abuse, overall dirty!bad!wrongness.
Summary: Xander needs some help but Spike decides to help himself to Xander.
Word Count: 1,296
Author's Note: Tissue warning!
And, due to the LJ Boldthrough, I am sporting a new disclaimer for this fic, thanks to
_sharvie_:Disclaimer: No childrenz were hurt in teh making of this fanfic! *g*
Previous Parts.
Thanks to
_sharvie_ for the lovely banner beneath the cut.Xander sat on the bed in Spike's room, wondering how his life had changed so much in just a few weeks. It had been a struggle learning to live in this new place, this new life, he never tried to convince myself that it was going to be easy, but now Xander wondered how it all went so wrong.
He'd been so proud of myself, so wishing for Spike to be proud of him as well. Spike had praised him at first, celebrating with Xander the first day he was able to go without the eye patch all evening and adjusting to living with the three other men. They'd had an incredible dinner, complete with gooey lasagna and crispy garlic bread, courtesy of Ethan and Giles, followed by a night of slow, wet kisses and hard, rolling thrusts.
Soon however, Xander began to notice small changes, changes so tiny that they shouldn't have made a difference, but somehow, they did.
First, Spike stopped sitting next to Xander in the library, long fingers teasing the boy under the table while he completed his assignments for the day. Instead, the older boy focused on his own studies, reading and taking notes distractedly. Xander knew he shouldn't be jealous. Spike was in school too and he still needed to get good grades as well. But Xander felt the loss.
Then Xander noticed that the older boy had stopped watching him. It sounded stupid to the younger boy when he stopped to think about it, but it still plagued the back of Xander's mind. The sable haired boy missed the crystal blue eyes trained on his every move.
And soon the sweet endearments were gone. Spike still took to calling him "pet" but Xander missed being called Spike's "luv" more than he cared to admit. The softly whispered word began to haunt the younger boy's dreams.
But then Spike started going out at night, study sessions he called them. Xander would wait up as long as he could for the blond boy to come to his bed, the bed they shared, but sometimes, Spike would come in long after the younger boy had nodded off for the night. He tried not to let the absence bother him, but Xander had become used to the feel of the warm body next to his and the smell of cigarettes and leather surrounding him.
Spike explained how he needed to work on a special project for a class, how he needed to spend time with his classmates and people his own age. Xander had succumbed and agreed. He sent Spike out nearly every night with a smile plastered on his face, waving as his love rode away from him.
All of that Xander could have handled, he could have become accustomed to eventually. He'd given so much to Spike, become so much for Spike, admitted who he was, what he was, deep down inside for the older boy. He'd lost his family, destructive as they were, to live in Spike's father's house just to be close to the blond boy.
But then Spike started talking about Angel.
Angel was Spike's partner for his literature assignment and soon this new boy's name began to seep into every conversation. Xander was tired of hearing how stupid Angel was or how broody Angel was or how bloody annoying he was. Xander didn't want to know that Spike had been out all night with Angel, didn't want to hear how badly Angel sang karaoke when he was drunk or how many girls the two boys had to fight off at the club. He didn't want to think about why they were still going out when he knew the project had been complete for at least a week.
Finally, Xander couldn't take sitting in the silent, still room anymore, thinking about everything he'd had and lost, everything he still wanted. The house was too quiet with Spike out and the four walls where he had learned his favorite lessons suddenly felt more like a coffin than the safe haven he'd known it to be.
Slipping down the stairs, Xander silently walked out into the backyard, leaning against the tree he'd cuddled beneath with Spike many a lazy afternoon. They hadn't cuddled in a very long time.
The night air was cool, whipping the boy's sable curls around his ears and across his forehead. Spike liked it long, but not too long. Xander had continue to let it grow, hoping Spike would notice and demand Xander get it cut instantly, threatening to drag the younger boy to the barber himself if need be.
But Spike never noticed.
The brush of hair and the cool air stroked Xander's left eye and the skin around it rippled with goose pimples. Three days ago, he'd gone all day without wearing the dreaded patch.
Ethan had made him a special dinner and Giles had taken the black fabric, placing it in a frame and hanging it on the wall.
Spike forgot to mention it.
Xander stared at the quiet, dark house across the way, the one that used to be his home, in all honesty was his home.
It wasn't until a warm hand landed on the boy's shoulder that he realized he was shaking.
"Xander," Giles whispered, concern coloring his voice. "You should really come inside. It's too cold out here."
"Not just yet, please," Xander begged. "It's just too quiet in there and I needed a breath of fresh air."
Giles held on for a while, his hand squeezing the trembling shoulder and Xander soaked in the attention and touch.
Silence reigned between them until Xander finally asked, "What am I doing wrong?"
"You're not doing anything wrong, Xander," Giles insisted.
Xander sighed as he realized his worst fear; he hadn't done anything wrong, it was him. He was wrong.
"Thanks, Giles," he sighed. He waited for several long minutes until the librarian squeezed his shoulder one last time before he turned to re-enter the house. Continuing to stare at the dark house across from him, Xander wondered if his father felt as desolate and deserted as the house he was stuck in, if he felt as alone and empty as Xander did at that very moment.
His mother always said he was his father's son.
Several moments later, Xander heard the sound of a car pulling into the drive. Hiding behind the tree he'd been huddled under, Xander strained to see who was there. He didn't recognize the car and the rough idling set the young boy's nerves on edge. He waited and waited for Spike to exit the vehicle, to rush into the house to find him and greet him with a hug and a kiss.
Finally, the passenger side door opened and Spike slipped out, smiling and laughing with the unseen driver. It was a mischievous smile, one that Xander had seen many times trained on him, one that he missed greatly. Then Xander heard Spike's rich baritone echoing through the night air.
"Good night, luv."
Xander started to move out of the shelter of the tree to answer the greeting until he realized that Spike wasn't talking to him.
He was talking to Angel.
Standing frozen, Xander watched Spike enter the house. He waited to see if the blond boy was going to ask where he was, look for him, search him out, but the light in the room they shared turned on before the bathroom light turned on. Soon, Xander heard the shower running. Spike hadn't even noticed he wasn't there.
Slowly, Xander turned away to stop staring at the steamy window and began to walk back toward the house that was as dark and desolate as he felt inside.
Tbc...
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no subject
This is one story that I always wait for new parts to come out!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:53 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 03:12 pm (UTC)This is a wonderful and heartbreaking chapter, honey!
Gabrielle
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:54 pm (UTC)I'll try and make it better soon. We'll see what the prompts give me. So glad you like.
*loves and hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 03:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 07:16 pm (UTC)I wonder what Spike's thinking. Doesn't he realize he is hurting Xander bad! *kicks him*
Xander needs some cuddles now!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 08:56 pm (UTC)Thanks, honey.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-09 12:07 pm (UTC)I'm reminded of that line of Xander's in season 1 I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?
Spike has become accustomed to Xander, so he's started taking him for granted. *growls at Spike* Xander should go out and find himself someone else, who cares, so Spike is forced to come to his senses.