Prompt 61 - Arctophile - Secrets They Keep - ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
spikespetslayer -
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:26 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dedra.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
tamingthemuseTitle: Secrets They Keep
Rating: PG for disturbing themes
Fandom: None-OC
Warnings: Hints at incestual child abuse. Don't say you weren't warned.
Summary: She had stopped speaking when she was four years old, and nobody but the bears knew the reason why.
A/N: As with all my stories, this one came jumping out of nowhere. Plus, if anyone has any ideas, how about you help me name my muse something besides what I call her (the Angst Queen)?
“Come my lovelies, let us have a tea party all together.”
She arranged them around the table, each to their own chair. Others watched from shelves on the wall and crowded on the dresser, blocking the mirror from view. Their coal black button eyes were disturbing to her mother, but to her they brought a certain comfort that could not be found in the eyes of humans.
At least she was speaking again, her mother thought, as she watched her fifteen-year-old daughter from the door. It had only begun within the last year; she had stopped abruptly at the age of four and she had abandoned her marriage and any hopes of other children as she hauled her from doctor to doctor, looking for clues as to why the child had suddenly reverted into herself.
The word autism had been batted about several times, but the mother refused to accept it. There were no other signs of autism to be seen; she still made eye contact with others, although it was only with the women of the family. Smiles still graced the beautiful, angelic face of her daughter and she had no problems with physical demonstrations of affection from women. When there was a man around, she refused to come out of her room, preferring to remain in the comforting arms of her teddy bear, clutching him close to her and facing the wall with her back to the room.
Sheila had bought other bears throughout the years in efforts to pry the first, Mr. Giggles, out of her daughter’s deathly grasp. She had her favorites, but Mr. Giggles remained the most prevalent and comforting. Even now, he sat next to her in the tiny chairs that surrounded the small table. She watched as the tea was poured, the cookies passed one to a plate, the napkins arranged on laps before her daughter flounced to her place and crossed her ankles in a lady-like pose.
Her manners were impeccable. Her pinkie was arched away from the cup as she pretended to sip from the empty cup and converse with her guests while her mother watched and waited for the child psychologist to come to the house once again.
It had taken a while to find a psychologist that would make a house call; taking her out of the house had become more and more of a chore with kicking and screaming wordless animalistic noises that grated on the nerves and frightened the aging mother. Finally, Sheila had given in and searched until she found a female doctor that would do sessions at the house in the bedroom, her daughter’s sanctuary and the only room that she would speak in.
The doorbell rang and Sheila turned away from the sight of her obviously disturbed child to answer the door.
Dr. MaryAnn Long had been drawn to the child from the beginning. She had theories about the attachments to the bears as well as ideas behind them, but after several visits had still not made a breakthrough. She knew that they were getting closer to solving the mystery and her determination would not allow her to stop trying, although Missy refused to talk to her directly. It was more telling to listen to the interactions that she had with the bears anyway; sometimes there were tidbits dropped in the inane conversations that were hard to ignore. She wondered if Sheila was ready for the truth of the matter, but in her mind the child’s well being and mental health were more important by far.
Sheila took her to the door and watched as the doctor sat on the side of the overly full bed, the rest of the space taken up with bears of all shapes, sizes, and colors. She actually had to rearrange them to make herself a space to sit down among them before she took out her recorder and whispered the date, patient info, location, and what Missy was doing before setting it down on the sturdy night table and turning the volume up to catch all the nuances of the girl’s imaginary conversations.
Today they were talking about some of the actions of the other bears in the room.
“Yes, I understand that Melissa would prefer to sit over by Julie, but Julie doesn’t like her so that is just not acceptable. If Melissa had not been so bad last year and stolen Julie’s favorite bow, she wouldn’t have been banished to the dresser and could still sit on the bed and come to the tea parties with us. You have to understand, Marie—I have to keep the peace among you all, otherwise this situation could get quite out of hand and become completely unbearable for us all.”
Missy turned her head and noticed MaryAnn sitting on the side of the bed. “Now, we have a guest, ladies and Mr. Giggles, so let’s not talk about such fusses while she is here. Hello MaryAnn. How are you today?”
Maryann was pleasantly surprised to find the child remembered her name and noted the fact on her large pad of paper. “I’m doing well, Missy. How are you today?”
“Quite good. We’re having tea. Would you like some?”
MaryAnn shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t stay long enough for tea, but I was wondering something ever since our last visit. I remember talking to you about your friends and I noticed that all of them were girls, except for Mr. Giggles next to you. I was wondering why there weren’t any other boy friends.”
Missy furrowed her brow as she thought, then turned to Mr. Giggles and frowned openly. “Mr. Giggles, you know that I can’t talk about that. Mustn’t break a promise, you know.”
She watched the bear with slitted eyes for a moment and cut him off with a shake of her head. “No. No matter how much I like MaryAnn, I will not tell her that. She is a new friend, not an old friend like you. You are the only one that knows that and I will not have you revealing it in front of a guest.”
MaryAnn leaned forward, intrigued by the imaginary conversation taking place before her eyes. “Missy, since I can’t hear what Mr. Giggles is saying, can you tell me?”
Missy turned to the doctor and shook her curly head. “I shouldn’t. He is saying very bad things today, MaryAnn. Very bad things that only he knows and I know. He wants me to tell you but I don’t think that it’s a good idea.”
Maryann couldn’t help the gleam that entered her eyes at the thought of such a secret. “But maybe if you told me, I could help. Sometimes a secret that you tell someone else is easier to handle than if you keep it to yourself. Sharing the burden, so to speak.”
Once again she was refuted by a firm shake of the child’s head. “No. I made a promise and I’ve kept it. I won’t talk about it, not with you and especially not with Mr. Giggles. He was the only one who saw it that night and…” She clapped her hand over her mouth, realizing that she had said too much.
“What did Mr. Giggles see, Missy? Was it something bad?”
Missy busied herself pouring more tea into the teacups. “We don’t discuss it.”
MaryAnn reached out and picked up the worn bear with the missing eyes and matted fur. “Perhaps Mr. Giggles and I should have a talk about it, just the two of us.”
She didn’t expect the hysteria. Missy jumped from her chair and grabbed the bear out of MaryAnn’s hand, clutching him to her chest. “NO! He won’t talk to you. He only talks to me.”
With a sly look, MaryAnn plucked the bear from Missy’s hands and brought his mouth to her ear. “He says that he will talk to me. Won’t you, Mr. Giggles?”
With a fingertip to the back of his neck, she made the bear nod.
Missy cleared the table with her arm, knocking some of the bears to the floor in the process as she laid her head down on her folded arms and began to sob. “He promised that he wouldn’t tell either. He can’t tell you, he just can’t! He would be breaking a promise and that’s bad.”
“It isn’t bad if it helps you, Missy.” Maryann brought the bear close to her ear again and acted as if she were listening to him whisper. “He said that he saw something bad happen to you when you were little. Is that what happened?”
Instead of answering, the sobbing increased in volume. Outside the door, Sheila bit her cheek to keep from crying herself, her knuckles pressed firmly to her mouth to prevent a sound from escaping.
Maryann pressed on. “He also said that the reason that he’s the only boy friend is because of something that happened at night when everyone else was sleeping. What happened while everyone was sleeping but you and Mr. Giggles, Missy?”
“Don’t tell her any more, Mr. Giggles! I’m warning you!” Missy looked wild when she looked up at the bear, hatred clear on her face. “You promised me, just like I promised. Don’t say another word about it!”
“He also says that’s why you only like bears and won’t talk to anyone else.”
Suddenly the bear was ripped out of MaryAnn’s arms and thrown to the floor. Missy stomped on his head with both feet, not noticing the tears that broke through the ancient fur and allowed some of the fluffy stuffing to escape. “You promised! You promised! You promised!”
“What did he promise? Missy, what did Mr. Giggles promise? Why do you only talk to the bears, Missy?”
Fury painted the girl’s face into an unrecognizable mask that nearly frightened the seasoned psychologist. “Bears don’t have hands that hurt or fingers that poke! They don’t have the long thing that makes you hurt where you pee from! They don’t push and poke at you and make you cry and hold their hand over your mouth and make you promise not to tell mommy ever! They can't hurt you because they only have paws and eyes and mouths. They can’t hurt you!”
Missy sunk to the ground and clutched the tattered and torn bear to her chest and rocked back and forth, crying uncontrollably. Maryann slipped off the bed and put her arms around the girl, rocking with her until the crying stopped and only whimpers remained.
“Mr. Giggles watched someone hurt you bad when you were a little girl, didn’t he, Missy? He watched someone hurt you and promised not to tell anyone, didn’t he?”
“Daddy did it. He came in one night and hurt me and made me promise not to tell. He said don’t speak a word about this to your mother. I promised him. I did. I never said anything to her and he left anyway.”
“What else did he say, sweetheart?” MaryAnn was stunned by the implications of what she was hearing but knew that she needed to press onward, despite the churning in her stomach.
“Every night until he went away, he told me that I was his special girl and not to tell. Never tell. I never told. I never said anything to anybody about it. I promised, I promised and he still left me.”
More gently than she could ever remember speaking, MaryAnn had to ask the question, damning as it was. “Did daddy hurt you with his fingers and his long thing? Did he touch you in a bad way?”
Missy nodded without speaking. Her eyes were red and swollen and her lip chewed raw from the words that were leaving her mouth. “He made me promise not to say a word. It made him and mommy fight and he left, but he told me that if I broke my promise, Mr. Giggles would tell him and he would know. He said that he would come back and hurt me some more if I did tell.”
The door opened a crack and MaryAnn looked up to the shocked and sickened face of the child’s mother. “Daddy can’t come back and hurt you any more, Missy. I promise you that. I can make that promise and make it stick, okay? Mommy and I will talk to some people that will keep him from hurting you again, do you understand?”
Missy nodded and MaryAnn went on. “Is that why you pulled the eyes off Mr. Giggles and your friends are only girls? Because they can’t hurt you?”
Missy nodded once again. “I didn’t want Mr. Giggles to watch me cry like that any more. It upset him too bad.” She smoothed the torn and matted fur and noticed the stuffing sticking out all over the place. “Do you think that mommy could fix him? I’m afraid that I’ve torn him up and now his brains are leaking out. At least he won’t remember me crying like that anymore.”
MaryAnn took the bear gently and cradled it in her arms like a baby. “I bet she can fix him right up if we ask her. Are you okay now? Do you need one of your other bears until Mr. Giggles is better?”
Missy looked thoughtful for a moment then shook her head. “No, nobody helps me like Mr. Giggles. We’ve been through a lot together, me and him. If mommy can fix him, will you take him to her?”
“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ll fix him right up.”
Missy turned, her hands flying to her mouth again like birds to roost. “Oh, mommy, I was never supposed to tell you! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to know!”
Sheila dashed away the tears that were trickling down her face before she sat on the floor and took her child out of the counselor’s arms and rocked her back and forth. “I wish you would have told me, baby. I wish that you would have told me and I would have stopped him from hurting you.”
MaryAnn still needed one more thing cleared up. “Sheila, when did Stan leave?”
“Missy was twelve years old when he left. He said that he couldn’t take the way that I coddled her any more.”
“Missy, I need to speak to mommy outside your room, okay? We’ll fix Mr. Giggles and be back in just a few minutes. Why don’t you pick up your friends and finish your tea party while we fix him, okay?”
Together the two women left the room, closing the door firmly behind them, confident that they would be alone and unheard.
While MaryAnn made her notes and Sheila gathered her needle and thread, they spoke. “I’m going to kill that bastard for what he did to my baby,” Sheila said with a quiet rage in her voice.
“There are other ways of dealing with this, Sheila, all of them ending in jail time. To a four-year-old, don’t say a word about this took on a different meaning for Missy than it would for another child. She took him literally and didn’t speak at all. I assume that she started talking after he left?”
“Not out loud, but I could hear her talking in her room. Whispering to that damn bear.” She sewed as she spoke, mending the tears and pushing the stuffing back inside with more force than necessary, as if she could mend her daughter by fixing the bear.
“When did she start speaking in front of you?”
“Within the last year. She seemed to relax a little. The bears that I bought her seemed to help draw her out of her shell.”
“I believe that she saw the bears as safe, although she was careful to keep them all female except for this one. Where did she get Mr. Giggles, by the way?”
Sheila gritted her teeth and looked down at the monstrosity that lay in her lap. “Her father brought him home to her after a business trip. When she was four.”
“I think that after today, we can safely say that we can work with Missy and get her back on track. It will take time, but I’m certain that she can make a full recovery from this trauma. She will always carry scars…” MaryAnn hesitated, not wanting to burden Sheila anymore than she was already.
“I understand, doctor. I just want my little girl to get better and grow up. You know? She’s fifteen now and has never been to school or anything for that matter. It’s just been her and me in the house with all those damn bears. I just want her to be whole.”
MaryAnn covered Sheila’s hand with her own. “Sheila, she may never be whole. We can hope for a full recovery, but like I’ve already said, she will carry the scars forever.”
MaryAnn picked up the bear, sewn back together by Sheila’s nimble fingers. “In many ways, she’s going to be like this bear. Blinded by what happened, scarred and tattered by betrayal, hurt beyond words. We can keep trying to fix her and I promise you, I won’t stop until I can get her some normalcy. But Sheila, just like this bear, she will never be brand-new again. She’ll never be fluffy and full and whole again. She’ll always be a wreck, just like this stuffed animal. It’s the best that we can do.”
With a silent nod, Sheila followed the doctor back into the room full of bears and a broken child, ready to begin the patching to heal her the best they could.
Rating: PG for disturbing themes
Fandom: None-OC
Warnings: Hints at incestual child abuse. Don't say you weren't warned.
Summary: She had stopped speaking when she was four years old, and nobody but the bears knew the reason why.
A/N: As with all my stories, this one came jumping out of nowhere. Plus, if anyone has any ideas, how about you help me name my muse something besides what I call her (the Angst Queen)?
“Come my lovelies, let us have a tea party all together.”
She arranged them around the table, each to their own chair. Others watched from shelves on the wall and crowded on the dresser, blocking the mirror from view. Their coal black button eyes were disturbing to her mother, but to her they brought a certain comfort that could not be found in the eyes of humans.
At least she was speaking again, her mother thought, as she watched her fifteen-year-old daughter from the door. It had only begun within the last year; she had stopped abruptly at the age of four and she had abandoned her marriage and any hopes of other children as she hauled her from doctor to doctor, looking for clues as to why the child had suddenly reverted into herself.
The word autism had been batted about several times, but the mother refused to accept it. There were no other signs of autism to be seen; she still made eye contact with others, although it was only with the women of the family. Smiles still graced the beautiful, angelic face of her daughter and she had no problems with physical demonstrations of affection from women. When there was a man around, she refused to come out of her room, preferring to remain in the comforting arms of her teddy bear, clutching him close to her and facing the wall with her back to the room.
Sheila had bought other bears throughout the years in efforts to pry the first, Mr. Giggles, out of her daughter’s deathly grasp. She had her favorites, but Mr. Giggles remained the most prevalent and comforting. Even now, he sat next to her in the tiny chairs that surrounded the small table. She watched as the tea was poured, the cookies passed one to a plate, the napkins arranged on laps before her daughter flounced to her place and crossed her ankles in a lady-like pose.
Her manners were impeccable. Her pinkie was arched away from the cup as she pretended to sip from the empty cup and converse with her guests while her mother watched and waited for the child psychologist to come to the house once again.
It had taken a while to find a psychologist that would make a house call; taking her out of the house had become more and more of a chore with kicking and screaming wordless animalistic noises that grated on the nerves and frightened the aging mother. Finally, Sheila had given in and searched until she found a female doctor that would do sessions at the house in the bedroom, her daughter’s sanctuary and the only room that she would speak in.
The doorbell rang and Sheila turned away from the sight of her obviously disturbed child to answer the door.
Dr. MaryAnn Long had been drawn to the child from the beginning. She had theories about the attachments to the bears as well as ideas behind them, but after several visits had still not made a breakthrough. She knew that they were getting closer to solving the mystery and her determination would not allow her to stop trying, although Missy refused to talk to her directly. It was more telling to listen to the interactions that she had with the bears anyway; sometimes there were tidbits dropped in the inane conversations that were hard to ignore. She wondered if Sheila was ready for the truth of the matter, but in her mind the child’s well being and mental health were more important by far.
Sheila took her to the door and watched as the doctor sat on the side of the overly full bed, the rest of the space taken up with bears of all shapes, sizes, and colors. She actually had to rearrange them to make herself a space to sit down among them before she took out her recorder and whispered the date, patient info, location, and what Missy was doing before setting it down on the sturdy night table and turning the volume up to catch all the nuances of the girl’s imaginary conversations.
Today they were talking about some of the actions of the other bears in the room.
“Yes, I understand that Melissa would prefer to sit over by Julie, but Julie doesn’t like her so that is just not acceptable. If Melissa had not been so bad last year and stolen Julie’s favorite bow, she wouldn’t have been banished to the dresser and could still sit on the bed and come to the tea parties with us. You have to understand, Marie—I have to keep the peace among you all, otherwise this situation could get quite out of hand and become completely unbearable for us all.”
Missy turned her head and noticed MaryAnn sitting on the side of the bed. “Now, we have a guest, ladies and Mr. Giggles, so let’s not talk about such fusses while she is here. Hello MaryAnn. How are you today?”
Maryann was pleasantly surprised to find the child remembered her name and noted the fact on her large pad of paper. “I’m doing well, Missy. How are you today?”
“Quite good. We’re having tea. Would you like some?”
MaryAnn shook her head. “I’m afraid I can’t stay long enough for tea, but I was wondering something ever since our last visit. I remember talking to you about your friends and I noticed that all of them were girls, except for Mr. Giggles next to you. I was wondering why there weren’t any other boy friends.”
Missy furrowed her brow as she thought, then turned to Mr. Giggles and frowned openly. “Mr. Giggles, you know that I can’t talk about that. Mustn’t break a promise, you know.”
She watched the bear with slitted eyes for a moment and cut him off with a shake of her head. “No. No matter how much I like MaryAnn, I will not tell her that. She is a new friend, not an old friend like you. You are the only one that knows that and I will not have you revealing it in front of a guest.”
MaryAnn leaned forward, intrigued by the imaginary conversation taking place before her eyes. “Missy, since I can’t hear what Mr. Giggles is saying, can you tell me?”
Missy turned to the doctor and shook her curly head. “I shouldn’t. He is saying very bad things today, MaryAnn. Very bad things that only he knows and I know. He wants me to tell you but I don’t think that it’s a good idea.”
Maryann couldn’t help the gleam that entered her eyes at the thought of such a secret. “But maybe if you told me, I could help. Sometimes a secret that you tell someone else is easier to handle than if you keep it to yourself. Sharing the burden, so to speak.”
Once again she was refuted by a firm shake of the child’s head. “No. I made a promise and I’ve kept it. I won’t talk about it, not with you and especially not with Mr. Giggles. He was the only one who saw it that night and…” She clapped her hand over her mouth, realizing that she had said too much.
“What did Mr. Giggles see, Missy? Was it something bad?”
Missy busied herself pouring more tea into the teacups. “We don’t discuss it.”
MaryAnn reached out and picked up the worn bear with the missing eyes and matted fur. “Perhaps Mr. Giggles and I should have a talk about it, just the two of us.”
She didn’t expect the hysteria. Missy jumped from her chair and grabbed the bear out of MaryAnn’s hand, clutching him to her chest. “NO! He won’t talk to you. He only talks to me.”
With a sly look, MaryAnn plucked the bear from Missy’s hands and brought his mouth to her ear. “He says that he will talk to me. Won’t you, Mr. Giggles?”
With a fingertip to the back of his neck, she made the bear nod.
Missy cleared the table with her arm, knocking some of the bears to the floor in the process as she laid her head down on her folded arms and began to sob. “He promised that he wouldn’t tell either. He can’t tell you, he just can’t! He would be breaking a promise and that’s bad.”
“It isn’t bad if it helps you, Missy.” Maryann brought the bear close to her ear again and acted as if she were listening to him whisper. “He said that he saw something bad happen to you when you were little. Is that what happened?”
Instead of answering, the sobbing increased in volume. Outside the door, Sheila bit her cheek to keep from crying herself, her knuckles pressed firmly to her mouth to prevent a sound from escaping.
Maryann pressed on. “He also said that the reason that he’s the only boy friend is because of something that happened at night when everyone else was sleeping. What happened while everyone was sleeping but you and Mr. Giggles, Missy?”
“Don’t tell her any more, Mr. Giggles! I’m warning you!” Missy looked wild when she looked up at the bear, hatred clear on her face. “You promised me, just like I promised. Don’t say another word about it!”
“He also says that’s why you only like bears and won’t talk to anyone else.”
Suddenly the bear was ripped out of MaryAnn’s arms and thrown to the floor. Missy stomped on his head with both feet, not noticing the tears that broke through the ancient fur and allowed some of the fluffy stuffing to escape. “You promised! You promised! You promised!”
“What did he promise? Missy, what did Mr. Giggles promise? Why do you only talk to the bears, Missy?”
Fury painted the girl’s face into an unrecognizable mask that nearly frightened the seasoned psychologist. “Bears don’t have hands that hurt or fingers that poke! They don’t have the long thing that makes you hurt where you pee from! They don’t push and poke at you and make you cry and hold their hand over your mouth and make you promise not to tell mommy ever! They can't hurt you because they only have paws and eyes and mouths. They can’t hurt you!”
Missy sunk to the ground and clutched the tattered and torn bear to her chest and rocked back and forth, crying uncontrollably. Maryann slipped off the bed and put her arms around the girl, rocking with her until the crying stopped and only whimpers remained.
“Mr. Giggles watched someone hurt you bad when you were a little girl, didn’t he, Missy? He watched someone hurt you and promised not to tell anyone, didn’t he?”
“Daddy did it. He came in one night and hurt me and made me promise not to tell. He said don’t speak a word about this to your mother. I promised him. I did. I never said anything to her and he left anyway.”
“What else did he say, sweetheart?” MaryAnn was stunned by the implications of what she was hearing but knew that she needed to press onward, despite the churning in her stomach.
“Every night until he went away, he told me that I was his special girl and not to tell. Never tell. I never told. I never said anything to anybody about it. I promised, I promised and he still left me.”
More gently than she could ever remember speaking, MaryAnn had to ask the question, damning as it was. “Did daddy hurt you with his fingers and his long thing? Did he touch you in a bad way?”
Missy nodded without speaking. Her eyes were red and swollen and her lip chewed raw from the words that were leaving her mouth. “He made me promise not to say a word. It made him and mommy fight and he left, but he told me that if I broke my promise, Mr. Giggles would tell him and he would know. He said that he would come back and hurt me some more if I did tell.”
The door opened a crack and MaryAnn looked up to the shocked and sickened face of the child’s mother. “Daddy can’t come back and hurt you any more, Missy. I promise you that. I can make that promise and make it stick, okay? Mommy and I will talk to some people that will keep him from hurting you again, do you understand?”
Missy nodded and MaryAnn went on. “Is that why you pulled the eyes off Mr. Giggles and your friends are only girls? Because they can’t hurt you?”
Missy nodded once again. “I didn’t want Mr. Giggles to watch me cry like that any more. It upset him too bad.” She smoothed the torn and matted fur and noticed the stuffing sticking out all over the place. “Do you think that mommy could fix him? I’m afraid that I’ve torn him up and now his brains are leaking out. At least he won’t remember me crying like that anymore.”
MaryAnn took the bear gently and cradled it in her arms like a baby. “I bet she can fix him right up if we ask her. Are you okay now? Do you need one of your other bears until Mr. Giggles is better?”
Missy looked thoughtful for a moment then shook her head. “No, nobody helps me like Mr. Giggles. We’ve been through a lot together, me and him. If mommy can fix him, will you take him to her?”
“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’ll fix him right up.”
Missy turned, her hands flying to her mouth again like birds to roost. “Oh, mommy, I was never supposed to tell you! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t want you to know!”
Sheila dashed away the tears that were trickling down her face before she sat on the floor and took her child out of the counselor’s arms and rocked her back and forth. “I wish you would have told me, baby. I wish that you would have told me and I would have stopped him from hurting you.”
MaryAnn still needed one more thing cleared up. “Sheila, when did Stan leave?”
“Missy was twelve years old when he left. He said that he couldn’t take the way that I coddled her any more.”
“Missy, I need to speak to mommy outside your room, okay? We’ll fix Mr. Giggles and be back in just a few minutes. Why don’t you pick up your friends and finish your tea party while we fix him, okay?”
Together the two women left the room, closing the door firmly behind them, confident that they would be alone and unheard.
While MaryAnn made her notes and Sheila gathered her needle and thread, they spoke. “I’m going to kill that bastard for what he did to my baby,” Sheila said with a quiet rage in her voice.
“There are other ways of dealing with this, Sheila, all of them ending in jail time. To a four-year-old, don’t say a word about this took on a different meaning for Missy than it would for another child. She took him literally and didn’t speak at all. I assume that she started talking after he left?”
“Not out loud, but I could hear her talking in her room. Whispering to that damn bear.” She sewed as she spoke, mending the tears and pushing the stuffing back inside with more force than necessary, as if she could mend her daughter by fixing the bear.
“When did she start speaking in front of you?”
“Within the last year. She seemed to relax a little. The bears that I bought her seemed to help draw her out of her shell.”
“I believe that she saw the bears as safe, although she was careful to keep them all female except for this one. Where did she get Mr. Giggles, by the way?”
Sheila gritted her teeth and looked down at the monstrosity that lay in her lap. “Her father brought him home to her after a business trip. When she was four.”
“I think that after today, we can safely say that we can work with Missy and get her back on track. It will take time, but I’m certain that she can make a full recovery from this trauma. She will always carry scars…” MaryAnn hesitated, not wanting to burden Sheila anymore than she was already.
“I understand, doctor. I just want my little girl to get better and grow up. You know? She’s fifteen now and has never been to school or anything for that matter. It’s just been her and me in the house with all those damn bears. I just want her to be whole.”
MaryAnn covered Sheila’s hand with her own. “Sheila, she may never be whole. We can hope for a full recovery, but like I’ve already said, she will carry the scars forever.”
MaryAnn picked up the bear, sewn back together by Sheila’s nimble fingers. “In many ways, she’s going to be like this bear. Blinded by what happened, scarred and tattered by betrayal, hurt beyond words. We can keep trying to fix her and I promise you, I won’t stop until I can get her some normalcy. But Sheila, just like this bear, she will never be brand-new again. She’ll never be fluffy and full and whole again. She’ll always be a wreck, just like this stuffed animal. It’s the best that we can do.”
With a silent nod, Sheila followed the doctor back into the room full of bears and a broken child, ready to begin the patching to heal her the best they could.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-23 10:03 am (UTC)You always write the pain of the soul with such searing emotion. It is heartbreaking, but also, in the end, hopeful. All I can say, is well done and thank you.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-24 01:52 am (UTC)I can honestly say that I had no control over this one. I started typing and the damn thing once again took over and took on a life of it's own.
When I read it to my girlfriend who also beta-reads for me, she began cringing--mainly because it was so much like reading parts of both of our lives that it was too close to home to be comfortable.
Thank you. It's the tough ones like this that make writing a pleasure. Anymore, I think that the dark side of life is my forte.