authoressnebula, prompt 66, Death Letter, 1/1, PG-13, SPN Gen

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*waves* Something a little different this week. I HAD another fic planned, and after I'd written it, I looked at Astra and asked her, "What the hell are you on?" To which she had no response, so I deleted it and started this instead.

Possible tear-jerker. Someone's dead. This is simply my speculation!

Title: Death Letter
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 1 of 1
Prompt: #66 - Hue and Cry for tamingthemuse
Fandom: Supernatural (Gen)
Spoilers: For what happened at the end of the Season 2 finale.
Summary: I know you wanted to save me, but man, I told you it wasn't going to happen.
Disclaimer: They're Kripke's, all of them.

Warning: Death-fic letter.

Wordcount: 502

Hey,

I know what you're thinking. Stop it, okay? You tried your best, I know you did. Don't beat yourself up about it, though. I don't want you to feel bad about all of this.

Okay, I know you will. You're you, I mean. You feel bad about everything with me. And I don't want you to, okay? Just...don't. This was completely beyond your control.

And I know you wanted to save me, but man, I told you it wasn't going to happen. A part of me hoped it wasn't going to end this way, but the truth is, I knew it was going to go like this. The only thing that upsets me is knowing that you're out there on your own now, probably making yourself sick trying to go over EVERYTHING that happened. You're probably thinking of five million different ways you could've shifted things, and I don't want you to.

You're probably pissed too, underneath all the grief. Okay. That I can understand, because if I was in your shoes, hell, I'd be pissed too. But I don't want you to stay that way, you hear me? I want you to move on. You don't need me there; you can do this on your own. I think the whole college venture proved that.

I'm not really helping, am I? I'm sorry, man. I really am. But I need you to know I never blamed you for this. Any of it. I need you to know that, to believe it. Especially now. Promise me that much?

You've got to be going mad right now. I know you, remember? I grew up with you, man. I know how much you're hurting, and for that, I'm sorry. I don't think I can say it enough, but in the end of everything, I'll never be sorry that you're alive. I just can't. That's the only good thing out of this: that it was me that was going to die, and not you.

You'd kick my ass if you could. I know you would. Then you'd raise hell and the hue and cry while you're at it, but you can't undo this one. I know you tried. Man do I know you tried. But I need you to pay attention. This is the important part.

You made me a promise when we were kids. Do you remember that? Some little rest stop in the middle of nowhere, and you promised me with big wide eyes that we'd grow up together and die together one day. Because that's what brothers do. We did grow up together, that much of the promise came true, but I swear if you follow me into death, I'll kick your ass. Don't you dare.

You'll get through. You always have. Just don't do something stupid, please? You're smarter than that. I know you are.

And for the record, I always knew you loved me. I hope you know how much I loved you, too.

Take care, big brother.

Sam

.......Did I have you guys there? LOL

~Nebula

Comments

[umbralillium.livejournal.com]

*whimper* *cuddles the boys* *clutches broken heart*

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Go back to your happy Wincesty fic! Go back!

.....Did you have any thoughts that it was anyone besides Dean? *is evol*

Have to head out, but will post something about you later. Just wait and see, you'll like!

~Nebula

[umbralillium.livejournal.com]

Not yet, gotta finish betaing something that's angsty. I think I'll reread my fic when I'm done with this one, though.

*ducks head and scuffs toe* I, um, skipped to the end, so I knew it was Sam all along. *hides*

Ooooh. *can't wait*

[jesterlady]

You got me with the college venture thing. I thought it was Dean. Evol you!

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*is awesome like that* Thank you kindly. ^_^

I do so love being evol, but you should know that by now, right? Right. LOL

~Nebula

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Very sneaky. you can do this on your own. I think the whole college venture proved that. That is so misleading. *g*
But it wouldn't matter which one it was. Neither of them should die.
I'm still waiting to see the second half of the second series, so the whole trade back and forth of who is going to sacrifice themselves, is a bit confused to me - the point, though, is that they both need to survive.
Once I got to the end, the idea it was Sam did make more sense, he always seems to be the one most likely to say that sort of stuff... except, so might Dean, if it was a letter. *sigh* This was nice, sad, but nice.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*grins* T'was meant to be; I'm glad it was. Hee!

Neither of them should die, I know. (Thank goodness Sam makes it past what I've written here. *breathes sigh of relief* Though at the rate those two are going, maybe not for long...)

If it was a letter, I've always thought Dean would express himself much better, but it does make a bit more sense with Sam, after you've read it through and found out who the mystery author at the end is. ^_^

Glad you liked it sweetie, even though it was sad.

~Nebula

[blue-icy-rose.livejournal.com]

Dean and I both need a hug. *pouts, complete with wobbly lip*

NEBULA!! You killed my Sammy and ripped out my heart while you were at it because oh Dean. Seriously, I could feel myself starting to get teary-eyed throughout and then by the end, well, I won't lie. The words were all blurry and I had to blink to see clearly because the idea of one dying and leaving the other behind is so damn sad. I mean, yeesh, I was a wreck when AHBL first aired - and this was with me having months to prepare because I'd been spoiled (Curses!).

And I know you wanted to save me, but man, I told you it wasn't going to happen. A part of me hoped it wasn't going to end this way, but the truth is, I knew it was going to go like this. The only thing that upsets me is knowing that you're out there on your own now, probably making yourself sick trying to go over EVERYTHING that happened. You're probably thinking of five million different ways you could've shifted things, and I don't want you to.

Oh that part just sounds so much like both of them but when I went and read it again after getting to the end, all I could do was go "Dean would! He so would." and then keep reading.

You're probably pissed too, underneath all the grief. Okay. That I can understand, because if I was in your shoes, hell, I'd be pissed too. But I don't want you to stay that way, you hear me? I want you to move on. You don't need me there; you can do this on your own. I think the whole college venture proved that.

So misleading but it also makes complete sense because, yes, Dean was on his own when Sam went to college since we know John started going off on his own. (And, really, rewatching Scarecrow, all I could do was go, "Um, Dean? How did you ever get any info without Sam? Heeeeee." That scene where the guy sees through his alias just makes me giggle every single time.)

You made me a promise when we were kids. Do you remember that? Some little rest stop in the middle of nowhere, and you promised me with big wide eyes that we'd grow up together and die together one day. Because that's what brothers do. We did grow up together, that much of the promise came true, but I swear if you follow me into death, I'll kick your ass. Don't you dare.

And there. You killed me. The first time around I was picturing wee!Sammy with his big puppy eyes looking up at Dean and promising and then I got to the end and suddenly it was wee!Dean with his big green eyes looking at Sam and promising and oh man, that just hurts either way.

I know, I know, I just quoted half of this back to you practically (and I had to stop myself from quoting one other part) but it was just that good. You packed one hell of an emotional punch into only a few hundred words. I think you did a good job of showing how similar Sam and Dean are with trying to save each other and then the way they talk - the letter could have gone either way until you get to that very end. It's already been shown on the show (especially in season two - the main examples that come to mind are in IMToD when both Sam and Dean use a variation of the phrase "So what, we're just going to sit with our thumbs up our asses? Let's work some mojo!" and then in Usual Suspects when they both call the lawyer Matlock and in that and Hunted with their secret language.) and you got that across here as well.

So now that I've written a comment that's nearly as long as the fic, *snorts* let me just finish this by saying that I loved it and am now going to follow through on my plan of rereading one of your H/C SPN fics...because those have happy endings, darn it! LOL.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*gives you and Dean a major big hug* I think your comment's as long or longer than my fic. ROFL *loves you so*

I know, I know, I so sorry sweetie. And I'm sorry to you, too, Dean. You must hate me right now for having taken away your beloved Sammy. (But you get him back!) And I really got tears? *shouldn't feel impressed with self but does*

Oh squee squee squee squee SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEE for all the quotage!! And yes, I could see Sam going nuts and trying to think it over, because Sam's our logical thinker, but it's Dean who thinks with his heart and his emotions. Never mind his aversion to chick-flick moments; that boy has his heart as the leading, thinking organ, not his brain. (Well, sometimes he uses his brain. ~_^)

And yes, I intended that part to make it misleading because I am a bitch like that mwahahahaha because I thought it sounded too Sam-like up to that point, so I thought I'd throw in a red herring. ^_^ (That episode proved to me that those two just don't function without the other. Dean cracked me the hell up. Poor baby...)

It does hurt both ways; little Sammy promising with wide, happy eyes and an even wider smile is so perfect, but then little Dean promising that same wide eyed Sammy instead with a knowing smile and probably a wink can hurt just as hard. My heart hurts and I WROTE the damn thing.

I surprised myself when I wrote this, and I kept doing an illusion thing with my eyes. You know, tip one way and you see one thing, tip the other and it's the other way? *is a geek* I think it's sort of funny how the tables have turned, and yet Dean's the one worried this time around. He obviously doesn't remember what Sam went through when Dean lost it at the beginning of season 2, because he did. I was very afraid for Dean, moreso than I am for Sam right now. Because I still see Sam, you know? And it's not forced, like Dean's smiles were in beginning S2. I'm glad I got that across.

ROFL, the fact that my h/c fics hurt the boys but have a happy ending...*wonders about self* But I'm all bouncy that you'd want to reread my fics. Hee! ^_^

I'm SO very glad you read and enjoyed it sweetie!

~Nebula

[blue-icy-rose.livejournal.com]

That episode proved to me that those two just don't function without the other. Dean cracked me the hell up. Poor baby...

Right? How did they survive while Sam was at college? Of course, that episode also makes me grin because it's so obvious how much they've come to rely on each other and how much of a unit they are by that point. Dean's remark about how Sam would have him talking with just a smile was great.

ROFL, the fact that my h/c fics hurt the boys but have a happy ending...*wonders about self* But I'm all bouncy that you'd want to reread my fics. Hee! ^_^

Hee, the only wondering I do about you is when more fic is going to happen. *has no shame* LOL. And to add to the no shame thing (and because I think it'll make you happy), I've got no problem telling you that I stayed up for a good portion of the night rereading every single one of your chaptered SPN fics and reading a few of the one shots for the first time. *nods*

Also, I have to say that I blame you fully for the fact that I've caved into my insanity and have now spent however long looking over the rules here and mentally writing a fic for this week with Xander as a Winchester. You. All your fault. Just so you know and everything. :)

[lynlee-g.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh!! You're evil!! Where the hell is my holy water?!

*sniffs*
*is torn as to who to comfort...Dean or Sam?*
*pulls both close, will never let go*