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tamingthemuse2008-04-26 10:45 pm
dedra.livejournal.com) wrote in tamingthemuse2008-04-26 10:45 pm
Entry tags:
Prompt 92 - Center - "I Need"- ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
spikespetslayer - HP
Title: I Need
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley/Luna Lovegood (implied)
Rating: T (sex)
Warnings: Sex, EWE
Summary: Even on the battlefield she couldn't focus on anything but last night.
I need…
I need to find my center, my balance. I need…
I need so much right now. I need to stop thinking about death and dying. I need to stop wondering what is going on in Ron and Harry's minds and concentrate on all the defensive spells that I know. I need to stop thinking about what I did last night and what I didn’t say and all the things that I should have said.
I need to forget that I left Malfoy only a few hours ago.
I knew that it was a mistake to seek him out. It’s always a mistake when you find yourself drunk and looking for something to make life feel real. It’s never a good idea to find your answers in the bottom of a bottle but it was the only place that I hadn’t looked yet.
All the books in the world at my fingertips if I’d only requested them and there was nothing in print that would keep me from wondering if this is all there was to live for.
I’m so much more than books and cleverness. At least, I like to think so. I’m a woman and a person and so much more than they give me credit for. I thought that Ron was beginning to see me that way, but other things stepped in the way, including Luna.
I guess that what made me snap was watching them walk into an alcove that had appeared for them in the Room of Requirement. Everything after that is a blur of light and sound and motion that only seems to clear when I’m lying in a strange bed covered in green silk and black curtains with Draco Malfoy thrusting in and out of my willing and accepting body.
I’m not even certain how I found him. I remember wandering down to the library…
The library. He was in there, alone for once, and I couldn’t stop myself from walking up to him, brazen and unashamed.
“Shouldn’t you have your bodyguards here to protect you?” I asked him.
“Shouldn’t you?” he answered.
He got up from his chair and walked over to stand in front of me, trying to intimidate me with his size. He literally towered over me so I had to crane my neck to look up at him. He forgets—he’s been trying to intimidate me for six years without any luck. I stood my ground and stared up at him, not blinking.
I shouldn’t have touched him. I know that now but at the moment, I was too far in my cups to care.
His cheek was baby-soft under my hand, barely a five o’clock shadow present on his jaw. He closed his eyes and I knew deep inside that he was looking for the same thing that I was—a warm and willing body to drive away the darkness, even if it was just for a little while.
I don’t remember going to the dungeons or sneaking into Slytherin. There were so few of them left that it really didn’t matter at the time. I can only recall right now the feeling of his mouth against mine as we made our way to his dormitory and fell onto the bed, all lips, teeth, and tongue as we stripped each other bare.
I spilled my virgin blood onto his sheets as he thrust into me but the completeness that I felt overshadowed the feeling of pain as we moved together. It didn't matter that it was only for now, only for tonight as we touched and were touched in turn, as the world stopped outside and the stars stood still in the heavens. It didn’t matter because nothing did right now.
And I left him. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed in sleep as I watched him, unable to release the tension that gripped me even now.
He was beautiful. That was the only word that came to mind as I watched him lay quietly in the arms of Morpheus, oblivious to the world.
I couldn’t stop the tears as I thought of how it could all be different. We could have been friends.
I touched his cheek again and dressed quickly, leaving as quietly as I could.
Now I’m standing on a battlefield with my wand out, too preoccupied to think about anything except what I did last night.
I need to find my center, find my balance. I need…
Out of the smoky haze that blurs my vision and makes my eyes tear, I see a figure coming toward me. His black robes are torn at the shoulder but there is no mistaking the cocky stride or that hair, even mussed as it is.
Malfoy comes to stand beside me, drawing his wand.
He doesn’t say a word and doesn’t really have to. I had seen his eyes open this morning. I knew that he was loath to kill me or mine as I was he and his.
“Thinking for yourself now?” I said, shooting him a glance as we stared across the field.
“Yeah. Well, about that…”
“Now’s not the time, Malfoy. Later. We have a bit more happening now.”
Later. There will be a later. I have to hold onto that. I have to hold on to the belief that there will be a better tomorrow because of what we do today.
It’s what I need. My grip on my wand tightens as I find what I need, right where it belongs.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley/Luna Lovegood (implied)
Rating: T (sex)
Warnings: Sex, EWE
Summary: Even on the battlefield she couldn't focus on anything but last night.
I need…
I need to find my center, my balance. I need…
I need so much right now. I need to stop thinking about death and dying. I need to stop wondering what is going on in Ron and Harry's minds and concentrate on all the defensive spells that I know. I need to stop thinking about what I did last night and what I didn’t say and all the things that I should have said.
I need to forget that I left Malfoy only a few hours ago.
I knew that it was a mistake to seek him out. It’s always a mistake when you find yourself drunk and looking for something to make life feel real. It’s never a good idea to find your answers in the bottom of a bottle but it was the only place that I hadn’t looked yet.
All the books in the world at my fingertips if I’d only requested them and there was nothing in print that would keep me from wondering if this is all there was to live for.
I’m so much more than books and cleverness. At least, I like to think so. I’m a woman and a person and so much more than they give me credit for. I thought that Ron was beginning to see me that way, but other things stepped in the way, including Luna.
I guess that what made me snap was watching them walk into an alcove that had appeared for them in the Room of Requirement. Everything after that is a blur of light and sound and motion that only seems to clear when I’m lying in a strange bed covered in green silk and black curtains with Draco Malfoy thrusting in and out of my willing and accepting body.
I’m not even certain how I found him. I remember wandering down to the library…
The library. He was in there, alone for once, and I couldn’t stop myself from walking up to him, brazen and unashamed.
“Shouldn’t you have your bodyguards here to protect you?” I asked him.
“Shouldn’t you?” he answered.
He got up from his chair and walked over to stand in front of me, trying to intimidate me with his size. He literally towered over me so I had to crane my neck to look up at him. He forgets—he’s been trying to intimidate me for six years without any luck. I stood my ground and stared up at him, not blinking.
I shouldn’t have touched him. I know that now but at the moment, I was too far in my cups to care.
His cheek was baby-soft under my hand, barely a five o’clock shadow present on his jaw. He closed his eyes and I knew deep inside that he was looking for the same thing that I was—a warm and willing body to drive away the darkness, even if it was just for a little while.
I don’t remember going to the dungeons or sneaking into Slytherin. There were so few of them left that it really didn’t matter at the time. I can only recall right now the feeling of his mouth against mine as we made our way to his dormitory and fell onto the bed, all lips, teeth, and tongue as we stripped each other bare.
I spilled my virgin blood onto his sheets as he thrust into me but the completeness that I felt overshadowed the feeling of pain as we moved together. It didn't matter that it was only for now, only for tonight as we touched and were touched in turn, as the world stopped outside and the stars stood still in the heavens. It didn’t matter because nothing did right now.
And I left him. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed in sleep as I watched him, unable to release the tension that gripped me even now.
He was beautiful. That was the only word that came to mind as I watched him lay quietly in the arms of Morpheus, oblivious to the world.
I couldn’t stop the tears as I thought of how it could all be different. We could have been friends.
I touched his cheek again and dressed quickly, leaving as quietly as I could.
Now I’m standing on a battlefield with my wand out, too preoccupied to think about anything except what I did last night.
I need to find my center, find my balance. I need…
Out of the smoky haze that blurs my vision and makes my eyes tear, I see a figure coming toward me. His black robes are torn at the shoulder but there is no mistaking the cocky stride or that hair, even mussed as it is.
Malfoy comes to stand beside me, drawing his wand.
He doesn’t say a word and doesn’t really have to. I had seen his eyes open this morning. I knew that he was loath to kill me or mine as I was he and his.
“Thinking for yourself now?” I said, shooting him a glance as we stared across the field.
“Yeah. Well, about that…”
“Now’s not the time, Malfoy. Later. We have a bit more happening now.”
Later. There will be a later. I have to hold onto that. I have to hold on to the belief that there will be a better tomorrow because of what we do today.
It’s what I need. My grip on my wand tightens as I find what I need, right where it belongs.
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Great Hermione narrative.
And we all know Draco has it in him, all he needs is a really good shove...
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Kimmy
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You were always so good at portraying such emotional intensity between Spike and Buffy that I was really curious to see how you wrote Dramione and I was hooked with the first story.
Now, I have really enjoyed looking at a vast array of sites and stories. I am embarrassed to admit that I can't remember who you recommended to me to read and hope you will do so again. Just list them all and I will look for them.
Thanks and hugs to you,
Kimmy