Turning and Burning (Chap. 4)

[tigerstriped86.livejournal.com]

Series: Turning and Burning (Chap. 4)
Title:  William's Angel
Author: tigerstriped86
Fandom/Pairing: BtVS, X/A, A/S, other

Summary: What Xander finds, following Angel and Spike to Africa, is something he'll always regret.  
Rating: M for Mature: Imagine that!  A story about vampirism being mature!
Disc.: I own nothing.  Joss Whedon and Dark Horse can't have my imagination though.
Prompt 98: Cubic

Cubic def. according to wiktionary:
Adj. (geometry) Used in the names of units of volume formed by multiplying a unit of length by itself twice.

Full story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4237605/4/Turning_and_Burning

Shades, they fall in shades. The curtains of my emotion drop before me, tinkering to the floor. There is a silent whisper as the night swells around me. The clouds are thick and painful, swollen and moaning. Tints of vein yellow snake through the darkness. In a flash, I can see them.

I've traveled the barren part of this land looking for him, smelling him. I'm quite sure he can smell me, but why should I care? What did he expect? I feared when the plane took off. Not because of flight but because of the windows. But I was assured of the tint of the glass. I began to think of becoming a pilot. Accrue some money and life experience away from Sunny hell. Why did it take a demon for me to think of moving on?

Because I know how they will react. My credibility will be shot, the concern will be there and all of the misunderstanding. The things I've gone through fighting and now to become one of them. It's almost as if I'd written deceiver against my own forehead. But I don't care. Happiness is a transient emotion and for the man who never lived, it matters not. The problem is that Alex Harris did and that Eldridge Jacob Harris did not.

So, I stood outside as the darkness swelled. I remember the feeling of wanting to be sweating and of the heat crashing around me in waves, but I was unaware of it. There had been markers lining the path, torches brandishing an odd sort of smokiness. There had been whispers and stern warnings. I had told my first fledgling to return to the hotel and to wait for me. Somehow, foolishly, I believed I could separate who I was from who I was becoming. But those things can not be separated. Such are our times.

There were dead animals hanging like wind chimes from the rafters and jutting portions of the building. Part voodoo and part sanctuary for the spirit. Out of respect and out of cowardice, maybe two of the wisest emotions of self-preservation in man. I try to block out the noise, but I can't. I have no desire to try anymore. Because he is near.

I've been a jealous child, I'll admit, and it was one of the less savory traits that I wanted to trade over in adulthood, well, vampire hood I suppose. But there was Angel and there was Spike. Or maybe this was Liam and William. No, Liam was dead. This was Angel and William, before the bloodbaths and the rivalry. This was sire and childe. Xander's old mind fought for control, his self-respect fighting the urge to release the bile from his throat.

He hated Spike at that very moment. He hated Spike for all he meant to Angel and Xander knew then that he could not be that man for him. Xander thought of himself as an equal but Spike could acquiesce to the inevitability of the family order. So, through that, he'd always be more reliable and more devoted to Angel. While no one could accuse Xander of not having devotion, no Eldridge, not Xander, there was a wildness to his demon. Yes, there was a ferocity to his devotion but something frightening and deeper lay hidden there as well.

Xander hadn't felt much anger in his lifetime. He had been passive, hiding behind his words and his vague issues of self-esteem with Willow and Jesse. Buffy had forced him to half grow up and another larger part of himself was growing in the process now began. But here, before his eyes, was something.

There were no windows, just empty boxes of removed straw from the sides of the hut. Fires were all around the woman or very wrinkled man. Through her nose was a bone of some sort and her hair hung wildly around as she chanted and danced. The air was charged, the static vibrant. The storm was brewing. Physical reaction mingled with the spiritual just briefly and Xander felt sick again.

But he could not look away. He saw his sire through the fire. No, he thought, I see Angel through the fire. Angel held William. They were both naked, at least the parts Eldridge could see, and bathed in fire. The edge of a torch was set against them, playing a trick on Xander's mind. In reality, they were standing atop a pit of burning coals, but they themselves were not on fire.

Angel's left forearm moved around William's waist and his right forearm came down upon his chest, holding him in the subtle agony of the coals. Xander found himself shivering in spite of the heat. Angel found himself drawn to William's neck and to the area, the very sensitive area, where he had first bitten him. The area of the first bite never heals completely and both sire and childe can find that area very erotic during future blood games.

Angel's face pumped with demonic blood and he grinned towards the window, his eyes flicking up barely enough for Xander to know he was noticed. The first drink was very long and a small dribble fell between the crease of Angel's arm and Spike's stomach. Spike quivered but Angel held tight. There was a sound of clapping and a boom from a drum. The earth answered. The ground trembled. Lightning broke threw the roof of the thatched hut.

Xander stood as soon as he was able. He saw Angel holding Spike, but he saw William moving too fast through the small space. He saw different emotions, a parallel William that very few had ever seen. William did not utter a word, but he saw the pain and the regret come over the blond vampire's visage. Xander shuddered, hoping he'd never feel that sort of regret or guilt. But one day he would, he knew somewhere inside he'd pay a price.

The ceremony was complete as Angel bonded the two with a second drink and the pair fell away from the coals. Xander watched Angel as he laid William amongst a prepared bed of straw and intently soaked in the various phrases from the shaman or the priestess, whichever she was. Angel nodded several times and then made a few phrases of his own with his hands and various grunts, pointing to the door once. Eldridge concentrated on the foreign substance dribbling from Spike's heavy eyelids. William was crying.

“Why have you come?”

“Aren't we family, Angel? Did you think you could just pack up for a safari and not leave me worried?”

“I didn't think that was your choice to make.” The pair walked along in silence, circling the hunt. Angel listened for William, if he would need him. The shaman had told the sire not to go far at all. The next set of days would be painful and crucial as the soul reacquainted itself with the body.

“You knew what you were getting when you turned me.” There was no denial in his voice, just a resolution that stood.

“Xander.” The use of his former name caused the younger to turn to the older. “I can't love you the same way I love him. William was always something different from what you are. We don't live by the same rules as the other families and I won't pretend like we do, either.”

“I'm not asking for permission for this to be something it's not.”

“But you are. Our bond is special. You'll always be jealous of William. It will hang over your head that he's seen me in ways you'll never see me and he'll be jealous for what you've seen, even if he won't admit it.”

“Tell me about the ritual.”

“The first bite is much like the initial contact of sire and childe, reinforcing the bond. The second bite forces the soul to be bound like a three-fold cord. One back inside the body, the demon and soul will war for four days, each part of the cubic ceremony to come. That is why we are here, far from America and far from where warring factions could harm him. Why are you here?”

“To find you.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you. And I hate that.”

Angel smiled. “You always will. Here, my sire was never much for tenderness, but I can do some better than she.”

Angel's thumbs found the area where the initial bite occurred on Eldridge's neck. Xander felt Liam mumble something under his breath about youth and learning, but he chose not to question it. Angel was right, always alarmingly right. The sensuality of the touch caused Eldridge's face to change, pumped with his own demonic blood. Angel grinned as he traced the path with the side of one fang and Xander groaned. There was a tree behind them and Xander grabbed it, leaning backwards with Angel's body pressed to his own.

Angel's cock stirred as Xander's hands slid down his body, his crying and defenseless body that shook with need. His fangs bit brusquely and Xander moved with the suction, remembering that moment where he saw William in Angel's arms. He groaned again and found his arms anchoring Angel closer to him.

Angel heard William a split second before Xander did and then Angel left in a flash, back into the warmth and security of the tent. Xander stood breathless for a moment or two. He felt cold resolve filling the place lust had currently held. Eldridge felt anger, an absolved sense of pride. He hadn't told Angel about the pilot, about his first childe. If Angel was any indication at all, maybe it was for the best that he held unconventional relationships inside his growing family.

Eldridge took one last glance, envisioning Angel leaning close to William and wiping away his tears. He shook his head, bangs sweeping against his forehead. He made a plan and left, retracing his steps back to Sunnydale. He had a crime scene to clean up after.