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tamingthemuseTitle: Time to Breathe
Fandom: Hard Candy
Prompt: 116 – A rolling stone crushes toes
Rating: PG13
Summary: Hayley takes pause.
Notes: Unbetaed!
Hayley feels dirty, inside and out. She's rolled down the hill, a bad fall, her wrist hurts and she's covered in dust and needles. Her red hoodie is ripped at the cuff. Damn it, she loved that hoodie. Now it's time it hits the same road Jeff did.
She has to walk four miles before she gets to a bus stop and from there, she has to ride three buses for over an hour. Eventually, she gets home and after a cursory check, slips into the bathroom for a well-deserved shower. No one's home: her mom will be away for the rest of the week in a business trip and this is precisely why Hayley chose this moment to handle Jeff. Still, she feels charged and a little paranoid and there’s no harm in checking.
The warm water washes the sweat and the grime away. Hayley feels almost as new when she finally gets out, her pale skin all warmed up from the excessively hot water. She pats herself dry, avoids looking at the mirror. She's not a girl like the others, obsessed with hating her figure, her skin, but when she comes across people like Jeff she just can't stand the sight of herself. All that meat, waiting to be consumed by the predator... That her body can arouse a scumbag like that, the thought is overwhelmingly disgusting.
The bile rises up in her throat at the thought of Jeff wanting her. He did. She lifts the toilet seat and kneels before it but nothing comes out. It has always been like that for her – dry retching, nothing more. She hates the taste in her mouth, the ache in her stomach where he nailed her with the chair against the wall. It's bruising already.
She wraps herself in a towel and heads for her room. Falling to the bed, she wishes sleep was a possibility, but she's too wound up. She could surf the net, maybe join a chat. These two were a personal issue, Donna and her had been close like sisters, but Hayley knows there's no lack of men like these, older men who would dribble saliva down their chins at a mere sight of a girl like her. Only that they have no idea what kind of a girl she is.
She's like a stone or a snow ball, softly set rolling from the top of a hill and gaining momentum until it has blinding force at the foothill. A rolling stone crushes toes, crushes legs; if it's big enough, crushes douche bags. If it's the size of her hatred, then... oops, there goes Jeff, completely obliterated.
No, she can't allow herself remorse. She didn't just kill a man. She got the world cleaner. She didn't even kill him, actually – he had a choice all along. She's not evil. She's a straight A student, a good daughter and a friend who has certainly gone beyond the line where most friends would have stopped.
Hayley eyes the laptop but a wave of nausea courses through her. Maybe later. There was that HotDaddy67 guy that kept pinging her when she was on to Jeff... She hopes he's not attractive. Or clever. Or sensitive. Jeff was all those things and it made it worse. There were times Hayley wanted so much to just be able to stop and believe him.
Maybe she wanted more than believing. She violently turns on the bed and buries her face in the pillow. Not, that, oh god, not that line of thought. Sure, Jeff was handsome and well spoken but he was a fucking murderer.
So no, Hayley didn't feel flattered that Jeff wanted her. No part of her ever entertained the thought of giving it a try, whatever it might have been. She's just an excellent method actress and everybody knows that you can't do method without feeling what the character is feeling and that is that. Period. No attraction at all.
She has a Math quiz next Monday. Maybe she should study for that. And by the way, maybe she should arse herself to take care of the laundry, make sure that nothing looks like it has been in the remote vicinity of Jeff's. Just in case. And she's definitely going to be Clare or something for HotDaddy67. She was just too cocksure of herself and using her real name could have turned out to be a big mistake. Oh the things that could have gone wrong, that almost did.
Will the nice lady with the cookies mention her to the police? Was any corner that she forgot to wipe? Will they identify her? Hayley bolts and runs to the bathroom. The first heave racks through her before she's kneeling down and a bit of her stomach content hits the tile floor instead of the porcelain. Shit, more things to clean. Her hands shake and Hayley realizes that no matter what, HotDaddy67 will have to wait. She's as tough as cookies come but she needs a break.
Her cell rings from her room. She lets it ring, knows by the tone that's Matt, who's sweet, her age, probably a virgin, and only likes girls because he's the right age to like girls. She promised him they'd meet to study Math (and an alibi is always such a good thing) but she finds that she can't, not right now. She can't even think of Matt. Not in the frame of mind that got Jeff down, that is already focusing on HatDaddy67.
She rises to her feet and washes her mouth and face at the sink. Her pallor in the mirror almost scares her. The phone rings again and she lets it, trying not to think of anything but the minor bruise that's blooming on her left cheek. What the fuck is she doing? Suddenly, an image of a terrified Jeff on the castration table hits her and she starts laughing, laughing madly until she has to leave the bathroom to avoid the sight of her distorted face on the mirror.
The phone is on the desk, by the computer and she sees 'Matt' on the screen. Matt is normal and healthy and sane. All the things these guys aren't. All the things that she's forgotten how to deal with. But she finds that being tough, an avenger, a perversion of Little Red Riding Hood is lonely and way too complicated. Maybe Matt is not as sophisticated as Jeff but he's not a disgusting paedophile. Maybe she can deal with holding hands and maybe a little kiss. Well, not today. Handholding maybe, kisses, no way.
She pushes the call button and waits.
After a couple of rings, comes the familiar, warm, enthusiastic voice. "Hayley!" She can hear the smile in his voice and she smiles back.
"Yeah. About studying Maths... still up for it?"
"Sure," Matt says, jumping at the chance so endearingly that for the next few moments all that fills Hayley's head is his arrangements, random comments about their acquaintances, and a timid invitation for a pizza dinner.
Hayley talks to him, smiling, not acting, running a finger over her Mac. She's going to block and delete HotDaddy67 and forget about all that crap. A part of her resists the thought, though. Shit, how can she just forget about this and let these guys go around?
Matt offers to come over earlier to pick her up early in his dad's car. Hayley finds herself declining as she opens her laptop. She needs to do a little chatting before dinner.
Finis
October 2008
Fandom: Hard Candy
Prompt: 116 – A rolling stone crushes toes
Rating: PG13
Summary: Hayley takes pause.
Notes: Unbetaed!
Hayley feels dirty, inside and out. She's rolled down the hill, a bad fall, her wrist hurts and she's covered in dust and needles. Her red hoodie is ripped at the cuff. Damn it, she loved that hoodie. Now it's time it hits the same road Jeff did.
She has to walk four miles before she gets to a bus stop and from there, she has to ride three buses for over an hour. Eventually, she gets home and after a cursory check, slips into the bathroom for a well-deserved shower. No one's home: her mom will be away for the rest of the week in a business trip and this is precisely why Hayley chose this moment to handle Jeff. Still, she feels charged and a little paranoid and there’s no harm in checking.
The warm water washes the sweat and the grime away. Hayley feels almost as new when she finally gets out, her pale skin all warmed up from the excessively hot water. She pats herself dry, avoids looking at the mirror. She's not a girl like the others, obsessed with hating her figure, her skin, but when she comes across people like Jeff she just can't stand the sight of herself. All that meat, waiting to be consumed by the predator... That her body can arouse a scumbag like that, the thought is overwhelmingly disgusting.
The bile rises up in her throat at the thought of Jeff wanting her. He did. She lifts the toilet seat and kneels before it but nothing comes out. It has always been like that for her – dry retching, nothing more. She hates the taste in her mouth, the ache in her stomach where he nailed her with the chair against the wall. It's bruising already.
She wraps herself in a towel and heads for her room. Falling to the bed, she wishes sleep was a possibility, but she's too wound up. She could surf the net, maybe join a chat. These two were a personal issue, Donna and her had been close like sisters, but Hayley knows there's no lack of men like these, older men who would dribble saliva down their chins at a mere sight of a girl like her. Only that they have no idea what kind of a girl she is.
She's like a stone or a snow ball, softly set rolling from the top of a hill and gaining momentum until it has blinding force at the foothill. A rolling stone crushes toes, crushes legs; if it's big enough, crushes douche bags. If it's the size of her hatred, then... oops, there goes Jeff, completely obliterated.
No, she can't allow herself remorse. She didn't just kill a man. She got the world cleaner. She didn't even kill him, actually – he had a choice all along. She's not evil. She's a straight A student, a good daughter and a friend who has certainly gone beyond the line where most friends would have stopped.
Hayley eyes the laptop but a wave of nausea courses through her. Maybe later. There was that HotDaddy67 guy that kept pinging her when she was on to Jeff... She hopes he's not attractive. Or clever. Or sensitive. Jeff was all those things and it made it worse. There were times Hayley wanted so much to just be able to stop and believe him.
Maybe she wanted more than believing. She violently turns on the bed and buries her face in the pillow. Not, that, oh god, not that line of thought. Sure, Jeff was handsome and well spoken but he was a fucking murderer.
So no, Hayley didn't feel flattered that Jeff wanted her. No part of her ever entertained the thought of giving it a try, whatever it might have been. She's just an excellent method actress and everybody knows that you can't do method without feeling what the character is feeling and that is that. Period. No attraction at all.
She has a Math quiz next Monday. Maybe she should study for that. And by the way, maybe she should arse herself to take care of the laundry, make sure that nothing looks like it has been in the remote vicinity of Jeff's. Just in case. And she's definitely going to be Clare or something for HotDaddy67. She was just too cocksure of herself and using her real name could have turned out to be a big mistake. Oh the things that could have gone wrong, that almost did.
Will the nice lady with the cookies mention her to the police? Was any corner that she forgot to wipe? Will they identify her? Hayley bolts and runs to the bathroom. The first heave racks through her before she's kneeling down and a bit of her stomach content hits the tile floor instead of the porcelain. Shit, more things to clean. Her hands shake and Hayley realizes that no matter what, HotDaddy67 will have to wait. She's as tough as cookies come but she needs a break.
Her cell rings from her room. She lets it ring, knows by the tone that's Matt, who's sweet, her age, probably a virgin, and only likes girls because he's the right age to like girls. She promised him they'd meet to study Math (and an alibi is always such a good thing) but she finds that she can't, not right now. She can't even think of Matt. Not in the frame of mind that got Jeff down, that is already focusing on HatDaddy67.
She rises to her feet and washes her mouth and face at the sink. Her pallor in the mirror almost scares her. The phone rings again and she lets it, trying not to think of anything but the minor bruise that's blooming on her left cheek. What the fuck is she doing? Suddenly, an image of a terrified Jeff on the castration table hits her and she starts laughing, laughing madly until she has to leave the bathroom to avoid the sight of her distorted face on the mirror.
The phone is on the desk, by the computer and she sees 'Matt' on the screen. Matt is normal and healthy and sane. All the things these guys aren't. All the things that she's forgotten how to deal with. But she finds that being tough, an avenger, a perversion of Little Red Riding Hood is lonely and way too complicated. Maybe Matt is not as sophisticated as Jeff but he's not a disgusting paedophile. Maybe she can deal with holding hands and maybe a little kiss. Well, not today. Handholding maybe, kisses, no way.
She pushes the call button and waits.
After a couple of rings, comes the familiar, warm, enthusiastic voice. "Hayley!" She can hear the smile in his voice and she smiles back.
"Yeah. About studying Maths... still up for it?"
"Sure," Matt says, jumping at the chance so endearingly that for the next few moments all that fills Hayley's head is his arrangements, random comments about their acquaintances, and a timid invitation for a pizza dinner.
Hayley talks to him, smiling, not acting, running a finger over her Mac. She's going to block and delete HotDaddy67 and forget about all that crap. A part of her resists the thought, though. Shit, how can she just forget about this and let these guys go around?
Matt offers to come over earlier to pick her up early in his dad's car. Hayley finds herself declining as she opens her laptop. She needs to do a little chatting before dinner.
Finis
October 2008
