My First Post (please be gentle); Prompt 137 Bleach

[karisma1105.livejournal.com]

Good Afternoon, or morning or evening depending on where you are.

I'm new here and this is my first attempt at writing. I've been writing this all day, it's still a work in progress. I'm trying to kick start my imagination so this was the starter. It is loosely based on events that are occuring in my life right now, the names are changed and the place of employment is changed but everything else is pretty much correct.

So to introduce myself:
My name is Kim, i'm 32 and such a novice at writing. I feel that's what I should be doing, so here I be. I will be living on my own (for the 2nd time) next week which i'm really excited about. I do have a dog and a cat and I love them both. They are like my children, since I don't have kids, I spoil them. Anyways ... onto my story.

For two weeks now, I’ve been trying to figure out if people are laughing with me or at me. My ex-boyfriend thinks I’m just being paranoid. I honestly don’t think my hair looks that bad. I tried to bleach it blonde, instead I got a yellow orange color that I think makes me look "original." At least that’s the term that I would use. Just about every six months, I dye my hair a different color. I guess you could say I like variety. I think it’s because I get bored easily. My favorite so far had been the deep purple hue that I had for the last six months. I definitely got noticed with that color. I don’t think my boss at the law firm really liked the fact that I had purple hair though. I asked if maybe she wanted to try it too. I even offered to do it for her. She just sneered and stomped off.

Lauren, my boss, doesn’t like me much. She gave me a bad review that said my "attitude deteriorated" and I need improvement on my interpersonal skills and teamwork skills. Her words not mine. She is mad because I went to a manager with a question on something she wanted me to do, instead of going directly to her. I figure, if she wasn’t always so rude to me, I wouldn’t mind going to talk to her and ask her questions but every time I do, I get a very negative response that just makes me feel belittled or stupid. I’m not a stupid girl. I have a bachelors degree and darn it, I’m good at my job. She sure holds a grudge. I figure, she’s 63 and has been here for over 17 years, it’s got to be close to time for her to retire. I hope. But, I know I can’t possibly be that lucky. I would be willing to bet she’d work until she is 80 just because she’s nasty like that and would want to stick it to me. So now we have to have a meeting with the big boss, the manager, her, and me. That should be fun. I’m really looking forward to trying to put in nice terms how awful it is to work for "The Queen" as I call her.

I’ve been at the law firm for almost six years. It hasn’t been the best six years but I’m good at the work that I do, and I actually enjoy it. I often get to do research for the lawyers. I really like that part of the work. I get to write up memorandums and other documents that might get filed in one court or another. I personally think I’m a great writer. Even the lawyers must like my work because if they didn’t, I’m sure that I would be out of a job pretty quickly. I started in the mail room delivering mail and doing basic filing for the staff at Potter & Jones, P.C. almost 6 years ago to the day. Since then, I’ve gone back to school for paralegal classes, which helped me get promoted to working with Lauren and the 3 attorneys that she supports. Sometimes I kick myself for taking the promotion. I often wonder if it was the smartest thing for me or if I should have waited awhile to see if something else came along. I don’t believe I would be happier if I was still in the mail room though. I know that something else will open up soon and I can move again. I’m just biding my time, trying to bite my tongue. That’s the hardest part of my life, keeping my mouth closed when I should. I talk too much. Or so I’m told. I say all the wrong things and whatever I say usually gets turned into something negative. I guess that’s how I came to this point in my career, having meetings about my attitude and lack of team work. Only time will tell how this all pans out. I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that come Monday, I still have a career.

Monday has come and gone, and I’m still working. It turned out that Lauren decided the day before our meeting was scheduled to take the day off. Now, my theory is that if the big boss wants to have a meeting with you, you’re there no matter what. I wouldn’t be the one to say no to the big boss. But "the Queen" does as "the Queen" wants. And the sad part is that she gets away with it. If I ever tried to pull that and just decided that even though there was a huge meeting scheduled that could determine someone else’s fate, I would take the day off, I’d be in even bigger trouble. I guess it really makes her look bad because I was here on time, ready for the meeting, and she wasn’t. So now it’s postponed until we can schedule it again for everyone to meet. It’s really hard to find a mutually agreeable time because Lauren always comes up with some excuse why she can’t be there. One day it’s because she’s in court, another it’s because she has a doctors appointment, and the list just goes on. How long before someone notices how she’s behaving and does something about it? How long do I have to suffer, worrying about what might happen, what my consequences might be, where I’m going to end up after the meeting. I just got my new apartment and I rely on this career to survive, I sure couldn’t afford to lose my job now. Especially with the job market so sparse. It’s really difficult to find a new career right now, and I refuse to work at McDonald’s.

I move into my new apartment this weekend. It’s a very small apartment, kind of an "in-law" apartment. That’s what the landlady called it. I don’t really have a kitchen, but then again, I don’t really cook. I have a living room and a bedroom. That’s all I really need for myself, my dog Mickey, and my cat Chloe. We like it just the three of us but someday I’d like to find a guy and make it a foursome. I’ve been waiting years now for the right guy to come along but I think all my waiting is just a waste of my time. I’m only getting older and my prospects are getting to be fewer and fewer. My best friend Kristine says to stop looking and love will find me. I don’t think I’m really look. I feel like I am just waiting, not so patiently. I’m tired of waiting. I want to be in love. You know, with a capital L. Like the real LOVE, the kind where you have a wedding, buy a house, get another dog, have babies and so on and so on. That’s what I want. And of course I’m told that when I’m ready, love will find me. The problem is I’ve been ready for years now and still nothing. All my friends are married, all the guys I meet have girlfriends or are already married, everyone that I went to school with is married. There really isn’t much left out there for me. I thought there were supposed to be fish in the sea but I was greatly mistaken. I haven’t seen a fish, just a bunch of snakes. Most of the men I meet turn out to be sleazy. They are all just looking for a good time, one time only. That is exactly what I am not looking for. I’m looking for my knight in dull armor that is going to rescue me from the doldrums of my life. Someone that just might be as crazy as I am. Not the psychopath kind of crazy but the fun crazy. I’m only 32 which I consider to be still young enough to go out and have fun and enjoy life. I’m not ready to become the old fart that stays home every night to watch the news and is in bed by 8pm. No thank you. Which I assume might be the reason that I bleach my hair and change the color so often.

 

Comments

[karisma1105.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for the comments. I really appreciate all the help. This was especially helpful! I'm going to take another look. Might be able to do some work on it today. Thanks for the critique. All the help is welcome!