It's Unnatural, 1/1, Gen Buffy, PG-13

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Okay, this is nothing more than me being silly. This is really in response to a conversation I had on my LJ a few short days ago. The Potential in this is based on the true story of what happened with me and my homework. So I mean no disrespect to those who love Accounting like I do. If there's anyone else out there like me.

*crickets chirp*

Right.

Title: It's Unnatural
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 1 of 1
Fandom: Buffy (Gen fic)
Prompt: #25 - Kleptomaniac
Summary: Buffy wants silence, but something weird and wrong is disturbing it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my Accounting book and my thoughts.
Word count: 1076

This funny little thing is dedicated to vamptastica and sexymermaid, both of whom I love dearly and who need a smile and some laughter right now. *hugs them both hard*

Silence was golden, and whoever had coined the term was a genius. Closing her eyes, Buffy laid the side of her head on her desk and breathed a sigh of relief. The house was fairly empty, with just a few Potentials left here and there, but they were all mercifully silent. Willow was in the kitchen doing...something. Buffy really didn't know what she was doing, on account of Willow being so quiet. Buffy decided she didn't really mind.

It wasn't as if she had a headache. No headaches anywhere to be seen, thank goodness. Xander had brought her a bottle of aspirin, just in case, and she could see it if she let her eyes move up to the top part of the desk. He was downstairs fixing Spike's cot, for some reason. He'd just said that he owed Spike where the cot was concerned, something he'd done down there. It didn't require a hammer obviously, because she couldn't hear any banging. In fact, she couldn't hear anything from the basement.

Spike himself was seated on the other side of the room, quietly reading a novel of sorts. If she let her eyes move down, she could see him, and it appeared that he was sitting sideways, even though her mind knew he was sitting upright. She couldn't make out the title of the book, though. It didn't matter; he was smiling and enjoying the silence as much as she was.

He didn't have a headache, either. That wasn't the reason they were enjoying the silence. No, the reason they were enjoying the silence was because when things were silent, nothing happened. No fights, no worries, nothing. They could just sit and enjoy the silence, and she'd never really thought of the word 'enjoy' before, but now she knew exactly what it meant, so it could be said that she truly DID enjoy the silence.

“SQUEEEE!”

...Until it was broken.

Buffy immediately pulled her head off from her desk, and Spike was already setting his book aside. The sounds of someone racing up the basement stairs were heard, and the sounds of a chair scraping across the kitchen tile mixed with it. One little sound, which Buffy didn't even know what the HELL it was, and everyone was moving. And making noise as they did so.

She resisted the urge to sigh heavily. It was just going to add more noise to everything.

One of the girls came hurrying down the stairs, and Buffy was glad she wasn't injured. That meant there wasn't an attack of sorts, and that made things even better yet. Because if there wasn't an attack going on, then she might get her silence back.

In the girl's arms was a book. A big book. Buffy blinked and imagined her killing someone with the book. It didn't look familiar in the slightest; it actually looked more like a text book. Like a college text book. Which of the girls went to college? She remembered having been asked if they could take courses at the local community college while they were dealing with the First, but damned if she could remember who.

“I got it!” the girl said proudly, hugging the text book. Jessica? No, that wasn't it. Harriet? Nope; didn't ring a bell in the slightest. Megan? Buffy didn't think so.

“What exactly is it that you got?” Buffy asked her. Tori? Annie? Emily?

The girl held out her book, and Buffy caught a glimpse of the title. Accounting. Ugh. Worst subject ever. If this girl got it, then she should be ecstatic. Buffy would've been, if she'd ever understood it.

But quietly ecstatic would've been better yet. She'd have to explain that to Stacie. Carrie. Mary. Whatever.

“I was working on this problem, and I could not figure out how to calculate the Income Summary for partnerships,” the girl said, and Buffy's head began to swim with the terminology. That was bad. Very bad. And evil. Accounting was distinctly evil. Maybe the girl worked with the First. Maybe her name was Second.

Maybe Buffy really needed her silence back again.

“And then, all of a sudden, I realized that if I just took the example sheet from the book and made the Income Summary like the Net Income, then I could figure out the balances alloted to each partner, and...”

Buffy wasn't the only one in pain. Spike looked afraid, truly afraid, for probably the first time in over a hundred years. Xander looked like he was going to cry, and even Willow looked dizzy.

The girl took a pause to breathe, and Willow gratefully jumped in. “Well, at least you'll be able to make it through the year of Accounting,” she said as cheerfully as she could manage. “And then, you know, you can get into the stuff you really like.”

The girl frowned. Buffy really needed to find out what her name was. She couldn't call her Girl for the rest of the time she was here. Isabel? Dammit, that wasn't right either. Maybe Nicole? No...

“But I love Accounting,” the girl said. “I mean, I took a course last spring at my old college, but I was afraid I wouldn't remember anything about the general journal and the ledger, but I DO remember it! That's why I'm so happy. I've got it again!” She hugged the book and closed her eyes, the look on her face one of pure bliss.

Then she bounded back up the stairs again, leaving Buffy and the others staring up after her in shock and horror. Spike attempted to make a sound, but all that came out was a small squeak.

Buffy raised a trembling finger to the stairwell. “I have dealt with some weird, unnatural things through the years. A hell god, master vampires, demons playing poker, my sister as a kleptomaniac, and the end of the world. That, right there, was the most insane, unnatural thing I have ever seen.”

“Amen,” Xander croaked. Willow simply gazed in the direction the girl had gone with trepidation, and Spike managed another squeak.

Buffy turned sharply and suddenly, heading towards the door. There was a desk at the school with her name on it, and she was bound to get some silence that way. It was just over a Hellmouth. It wasn't like her desk here that was in a household with someone who loved Accounting. That was just too unnatural for her.

~Nebula

Comments

[sunnyd-lite.livejournal.com]

Maybe her name was Second. *SNERK* Loved the list of names, so Season 7 Buffy!

This was a great moment,too many items to quote (but Spike's reaction was really fun).

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I'm glad you liked the names. I was just randomly trying to pick a name for the Potential that would be me, and it suddenly struck me to do all of them. (Though I wouldn't name myself half of them; Megan would be a nice name, though.)

Thanks so much!

~Nebula

[jans-intentions.livejournal.com]

“I have dealt with some weird, unnatural things through the years. A hell god, master vampires, demons playing poker, my sister as a kleptomaniac, and the end of the world. That, right there, was the most insane, unnatural thing I have ever seen.”

Hahaha, that was great. Cute use of the prompt too. Nice Seven moment.

Are you that close to that award? How do you keep track? I'm like...I think two weeks behind you or something. I had no idea I'd ever do this but I'm glad I do.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Squee! Quotage! *bounces* Thanks sweetie; I'm really glad you liked the use of the prompt. I told lit_gal in the prompt post that all I could think of was Dawn. ^_^

The only way I keep track is because I've been doing it since prompt 1 and haven't skipped. I'd lose my mind thinking it over if I did. I have NO idea how lit_gal keeps it all together for the awards and such. 0_0

~Nebula

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

I agree, that's just unnatural. *shivers*

But funny fic. Hehe.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*grins* Hey, I think Chemistry is just torture, but I know tons of people who are into the forensics and such. I told them I'd handle their taxes, and they can handle whatever it is that chemistry does for careers. LOL

Glad you liked it!

~Nebula

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

Heh. Well, since I'm pretty math blind I get a headache from more than basic math so I try and keep as little math in my life as I can.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

That's me with science in SO many ways. Someone starts listing off the elements and my eyes glaze over. I'm not kidding; I've had several friends tell me as much, but well after, because they think it's amusing as all hell. ~_^

~Nebula

[umbralillium.livejournal.com]

*ROFLMAO!* I second Xander's Amen! You're lucky I love you so much, or else I'd disown you for liking accounting. *shudders dramatically* ^__~ *kisses your cheek*

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Is it strange that while I was giggling over your comment, I was thinking how sweet it was? My vocab was sort of "Hehehehehe Awwww...Hehehehehehehe Awww..." And it's still sort of going like that. ROFL

I'll do the taxes for the both of us then; how's that sound? ^____________^

*purrs under kiss* I love it when you do that.

~Nebula

[xocoatldreams.livejournal.com]

Oh that was so cute. And funny. I understand everyone's reaction too, my two best friends are both Accountants and I (the English major) just don't get it.
Was wonder though if you realized that you sorta did a double answer to the prompt. If you look at the fact that Buffy thought silence was golden, and the potential (whatever her name maybe) broke/stole the silence. . . hmmm seems sorta interesting to me, but that may be the cold medication talking.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you! It's so weird that people either get it completely or don't at all. (I do that with problems, though: I won't get it, at all, and I'll stare at the page, and suddenly, I'll get it. LOL)

I hadn't even realized that; that IS cool. Damn I'm good. ROFL

Thanks so much!

~Nebula

[smwright.livejournal.com]

Very cute! (And timely for me. Gave my research methods students a pretest this week - basic stats - of course, now they think I'm a sadist, lol.)

Everyone's reactions were precious. Clever way to work in a difficult prompt, too!

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you! (LOL, some students just can't appreciate things...*shakes head* ~_^)

This prompt made me blink and blink again, because all I could think of was Dawn, and I couldn't work that into my Spred at all. So...this happened. ~_^

~Nebula

[mentalme85.livejournal.com]

Hehe! Bless wotshername, I'd be squeeeing if I got it too. I don't know how I actually passed maths, but the bits I could do I sorta enjoyed a bit.
And I agree with Buffy, silence is golden, especially right now, she may not have a headache, but I do! :o(

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

I squee whenever there's homework and whenever I get it. My family and friends will testify to this. *grins*

Aww, I'm sorry about the headache sweetie! *rubs your temples* I'm hoping that by this point, you won't have had it, and it'll have gone away. ^_^

~Nebula

[mentalme85.livejournal.com]

Bit like Willow then!? ~__^ I may have squeed a bit for Biology homework, I liked the research. We were just given a guide and had to research and learn about the topic and produce an essay on it with diagrams.

*purrrrs under temple rubbing* Yeah, headache went bye byes thankfully! ^___^

[apsik.livejournal.com]

....I know that you like that course, and I know you're actually interested in the subject, but still... if you ever get this happy about accounting, promise to spare me. Please. I promise not to squee about something geeky like my love for English grammar and vocabulary, and in exchange you hold your enthusiasm for numbers on a leash.

:P

Srsly, though, good fic :] Just a perfect little moment in the Summers houshold. For a fic titled 'It's unnatural', this turned out very natural :]

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

I love English grammar and vocab too, but I will hold my Accounting glee in reserves for you. Aren't I sweet? ^_^ (We need icons that say Grammar Police or something. Or something like the Fashion Consultants, like the Fashion Experts or Police or whatever they go by. We're like that too; just with the English language! Hee!)

Aww, thanks sweetie! *smooches*

~Nebula

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

Evil Nebbie, breaking Buffy's silence. This was hilarious!

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks sweetie! LOL, I had my silence broken enough this week, I thought it should be Buffy's turn. (Seriously, in a library, there's a rule for SILENCE, right? Then why at my college do the boys insist on giggling and snickering over whatever they found on the computers? Oi vei. ~_^)

~Nebula

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

*Laughing* Accountancy as the worst evil - I am so with that.
I really liked the way Buffy kept trying out names and none of them fit. Especially the idea that she was 'The Second'. *snerk*
Thank you, for someone who works with accountants and is constantly amazed by their enthusiasms - that was fun.

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

LOL, so everyone keeps telling me! I still don't get why...*scratches head* Probably never will. ~_^

Poor Buffy; she'll never EVER get it, but at least she's trying!

Glad you enjoyed! ^_^

~Nebula