It's Unnatural, 1/1, Gen Buffy, PG-13

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

Okay, this is nothing more than me being silly. This is really in response to a conversation I had on my LJ a few short days ago. The Potential in this is based on the true story of what happened with me and my homework. So I mean no disrespect to those who love Accounting like I do. If there's anyone else out there like me.

*crickets chirp*

Right.

Title: It's Unnatural
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 1 of 1
Fandom: Buffy (Gen fic)
Prompt: #25 - Kleptomaniac
Summary: Buffy wants silence, but something weird and wrong is disturbing it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my Accounting book and my thoughts.
Word count: 1076

This funny little thing is dedicated to vamptastica and sexymermaid, both of whom I love dearly and who need a smile and some laughter right now. *hugs them both hard*

Silence was golden, and whoever had coined the term was a genius. Closing her eyes, Buffy laid the side of her head on her desk and breathed a sigh of relief. The house was fairly empty, with just a few Potentials left here and there, but they were all mercifully silent. Willow was in the kitchen doing...something. Buffy really didn't know what she was doing, on account of Willow being so quiet. Buffy decided she didn't really mind.

It wasn't as if she had a headache. No headaches anywhere to be seen, thank goodness. Xander had brought her a bottle of aspirin, just in case, and she could see it if she let her eyes move up to the top part of the desk. He was downstairs fixing Spike's cot, for some reason. He'd just said that he owed Spike where the cot was concerned, something he'd done down there. It didn't require a hammer obviously, because she couldn't hear any banging. In fact, she couldn't hear anything from the basement.

Spike himself was seated on the other side of the room, quietly reading a novel of sorts. If she let her eyes move down, she could see him, and it appeared that he was sitting sideways, even though her mind knew he was sitting upright. She couldn't make out the title of the book, though. It didn't matter; he was smiling and enjoying the silence as much as she was.

He didn't have a headache, either. That wasn't the reason they were enjoying the silence. No, the reason they were enjoying the silence was because when things were silent, nothing happened. No fights, no worries, nothing. They could just sit and enjoy the silence, and she'd never really thought of the word 'enjoy' before, but now she knew exactly what it meant, so it could be said that she truly DID enjoy the silence.

“SQUEEEE!”

...Until it was broken.

Buffy immediately pulled her head off from her desk, and Spike was already setting his book aside. The sounds of someone racing up the basement stairs were heard, and the sounds of a chair scraping across the kitchen tile mixed with it. One little sound, which Buffy didn't even know what the HELL it was, and everyone was moving. And making noise as they did so.

She resisted the urge to sigh heavily. It was just going to add more noise to everything.

One of the girls came hurrying down the stairs, and Buffy was glad she wasn't injured. That meant there wasn't an attack of sorts, and that made things even better yet. Because if there wasn't an attack going on, then she might get her silence back.

In the girl's arms was a book. A big book. Buffy blinked and imagined her killing someone with the book. It didn't look familiar in the slightest; it actually looked more like a text book. Like a college text book. Which of the girls went to college? She remembered having been asked if they could take courses at the local community college while they were dealing with the First, but damned if she could remember who.

“I got it!” the girl said proudly, hugging the text book. Jessica? No, that wasn't it. Harriet? Nope; didn't ring a bell in the slightest. Megan? Buffy didn't think so.

“What exactly is it that you got?” Buffy asked her. Tori? Annie? Emily?

The girl held out her book, and Buffy caught a glimpse of the title. Accounting. Ugh. Worst subject ever. If this girl got it, then she should be ecstatic. Buffy would've been, if she'd ever understood it.

But quietly ecstatic would've been better yet. She'd have to explain that to Stacie. Carrie. Mary. Whatever.

“I was working on this problem, and I could not figure out how to calculate the Income Summary for partnerships,” the girl said, and Buffy's head began to swim with the terminology. That was bad. Very bad. And evil. Accounting was distinctly evil. Maybe the girl worked with the First. Maybe her name was Second.

Maybe Buffy really needed her silence back again.

“And then, all of a sudden, I realized that if I just took the example sheet from the book and made the Income Summary like the Net Income, then I could figure out the balances alloted to each partner, and...”

Buffy wasn't the only one in pain. Spike looked afraid, truly afraid, for probably the first time in over a hundred years. Xander looked like he was going to cry, and even Willow looked dizzy.

The girl took a pause to breathe, and Willow gratefully jumped in. “Well, at least you'll be able to make it through the year of Accounting,” she said as cheerfully as she could manage. “And then, you know, you can get into the stuff you really like.”

The girl frowned. Buffy really needed to find out what her name was. She couldn't call her Girl for the rest of the time she was here. Isabel? Dammit, that wasn't right either. Maybe Nicole? No...

“But I love Accounting,” the girl said. “I mean, I took a course last spring at my old college, but I was afraid I wouldn't remember anything about the general journal and the ledger, but I DO remember it! That's why I'm so happy. I've got it again!” She hugged the book and closed her eyes, the look on her face one of pure bliss.

Then she bounded back up the stairs again, leaving Buffy and the others staring up after her in shock and horror. Spike attempted to make a sound, but all that came out was a small squeak.

Buffy raised a trembling finger to the stairwell. “I have dealt with some weird, unnatural things through the years. A hell god, master vampires, demons playing poker, my sister as a kleptomaniac, and the end of the world. That, right there, was the most insane, unnatural thing I have ever seen.”

“Amen,” Xander croaked. Willow simply gazed in the direction the girl had gone with trepidation, and Spike managed another squeak.

Buffy turned sharply and suddenly, heading towards the door. There was a desk at the school with her name on it, and she was bound to get some silence that way. It was just over a Hellmouth. It wasn't like her desk here that was in a household with someone who loved Accounting. That was just too unnatural for her.

~Nebula

Comments

[authoressnebula.livejournal.com]

I love English grammar and vocab too, but I will hold my Accounting glee in reserves for you. Aren't I sweet? ^_^ (We need icons that say Grammar Police or something. Or something like the Fashion Consultants, like the Fashion Experts or Police or whatever they go by. We're like that too; just with the English language! Hee!)

Aww, thanks sweetie! *smooches*

~Nebula