(no subject)

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure about this. I used the microphone since my hand hurts, and that makes it a little harder to write. I like Dan's warped sense of humor, and you'll have to tell me if the murder keeps your interest

Title:  Untitled??
Fandom: Supposedly original, but if you can't catch what fandom this is AU from, you really need glasses
Prompt: Early Bird Catches Pneumonia
Warnings: Crime scene. Possible pre-slash if you squint.
Rating: R - Violence
Summary: Sent to take custody of a prisoner who fled the city, one detective wonders if they've caught the right guy.

My original work is evenually removed from open communities.  Sorry

Comments

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Supposedly original, but if you can't catch what fandom this is AU from, you really need glasses
Well, yes, but you have definitely developed different aspects to both their characters and backgrounds.
I like Dan - he is prickly and hard, but he cares about what he does.
I like Jake, although you did not develop him so much, being as you were writing in Dan's POV, but he obviously cares, too. Just different from Dan, and maybe Dan needs to acknowledge that?
The conversation between Dan and the desk sergeant was fascinating.
Yes, I'd like to know who murdered Maria.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that the characters rang true for you. I am trying to make two guys who care about the truth, but (in Jake's case) guard their feelings a little closer. I'm not sure they're communicating well yet, but I would love to develop more with them.