(no subject)

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure about this. I used the microphone since my hand hurts, and that makes it a little harder to write. I like Dan's warped sense of humor, and you'll have to tell me if the murder keeps your interest

Title:  Untitled??
Fandom: Supposedly original, but if you can't catch what fandom this is AU from, you really need glasses
Prompt: Early Bird Catches Pneumonia
Warnings: Crime scene. Possible pre-slash if you squint.
Rating: R - Violence
Summary: Sent to take custody of a prisoner who fled the city, one detective wonders if they've caught the right guy.

My original work is evenually removed from open communities.  Sorry

Comments

[lilithbint.livejournal.com]

Yep the murder definitely kept my interest,
would enjoy finding out more,

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad. It can be hard to get people into an original fic.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I didn't write the whole story, which I had intended, but I did make it. Using the microphone just means I have to spend so much time correcting stuff that I didn't write as much. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it.

[eithnex.livejournal.com]

Not so good with the copy/paste thing yet so I'll just post again if that's okay. I don't know if everyone thought it was a writer/writer site probably just me...I get notions sometimes and that's never good.

I really enjoyed this story. I'm surprised that you said Dan was a little difficult for you with his wit, he and Jake felt just right to me. I can easily see how these two could throw sparks off each other, they grabbed me from the start. The mystery of the murder is very interesting, I'd like to know more about what's behind that. I hope you'll consider exploring this verse more thoroughly sometime and thank you for sharing.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Dan is a little hard just because his humor is darker and sharper than most of the humor I write. With Xander, he turns his humor against himself, and with Dan, much of that sharpness is turned on others. Of course, I see him as just as big hearted as Xander, but with a background that has led him to be a little pricklier. And I think I'll come back to this... after all, we have to figure out who killed the girl

[thismaz.livejournal.com]

Supposedly original, but if you can't catch what fandom this is AU from, you really need glasses
Well, yes, but you have definitely developed different aspects to both their characters and backgrounds.
I like Dan - he is prickly and hard, but he cares about what he does.
I like Jake, although you did not develop him so much, being as you were writing in Dan's POV, but he obviously cares, too. Just different from Dan, and maybe Dan needs to acknowledge that?
The conversation between Dan and the desk sergeant was fascinating.
Yes, I'd like to know who murdered Maria.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that the characters rang true for you. I am trying to make two guys who care about the truth, but (in Jake's case) guard their feelings a little closer. I'm not sure they're communicating well yet, but I would love to develop more with them.

[raissad.livejournal.com]

Considering Simmons had enough shoulders for two Roman armies and a Greek god, the man had to be crammed into the tiny room, but Dan didn't feel a whole lot of sympathy.

My favorite line! Well done. I related to Dan re: the paperwork. I always try to get someone else to do mine, if I can.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it. I do like Dan as a character. Sarcastic, with just a little bitterness, and lots of intelligence.